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Call me Tim

Call me Tim

@slimjimtx.bsky.social

6.4K followers 12K following 2.2K posts

I’m kind to humans and animals and I am a raging knucklehead. I occasionally joke around. I changed my avatar to the very distinguished Panda Man. I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · Nov 11

Christmas is coming. Here is a fun story for you. I hope you’ll enjoy it. archive.org/details/SixT...

Six to Eight Black Men David Sedaris : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Six to Eight Black Men by David Sedaris

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 14h

Didn’t Elon tell us that empathy is weakness? I disagree, obviously. I believe it’s a strength.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 17h

It is. I know of at least one local church in town that has been feeding the hungry for as long as I can remember. There must be more that I’m unaware of. This is a good thing.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 18h

Somebody should start making shirts with the words mirrored so that when the young people take selfies or do their TikTok videos, the words are easier to read. Either that or let selfies not be mirrored. At least there should be an option. I don’t know. I’m an old fart.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 21h

Obligatory joke:

Q: Why couldn’t the ghost get the witch pregnant?

A: Hollow weenie.

🎃

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

I hear you. Although, I’ve eaten plenty of food that was well past its “best before” date and I’m still kicking. I figure older food is better than no food at all. I figure if they don’t want to accept it, let them toss it. Fine by me. Mostly what we have is dry pasta. How does that go bad?

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

My wife and I were talking about this and we have a pantry full of food that we will likely never eat. Mostly dry goods like pasta and canned goods. I suppose the greatest need is in South Dallas. Where is a good place to donate?

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

I want to propose an idea. Bring back phone booths. Hear me out. They would be places where people could talk on their mobile phones on speaker; we won’t hear them; they won’t hear us, and there would be free or almost free WiFi. It’s just a notion. You’re in your box already. What’s another box?

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

🫶 He wrote that in the ‘30s, didn’t he? I mean the 1930s. Kind of prophetic, isn’t it?

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

For the last several years, this one has sprung to my mind. I love Mencken.

“On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

- H. L. Mencken

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

I have never been invited to a gay Halloween party. I hear they’re pretty awesome. I have a badass pirate costume, if you don’t mind a pirate wearing glasses and an eye patch. Shiver me timbers!

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 1d

World Series predictions. Does Toronto finish this tomorrow night, or will LA force a game seven? If the latter, who wins? I wouldn’t be mad either way, but if Toronto wins, that’d be cool. Dodgers already have their rings from last year.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 2d

There’s a good case to be made that the best ones come from the Dominican Republic.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 3d

I did not have herpes-infected monkeys running amok on my 2025 bingo card.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 3d

I’m torn between #1 and #2. This is a tough choice.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 3d

Does that mofo know anything? Every time he’s asked a question, the answer is some version of “I don’t know.” Does he read or is he briefed or does he watch the news? I think our Speaker is broken.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 4d

Let’s imagine I work for a company and I have to make some decisions the boss won’t like, but the company is in peril if I decide not to have anyone show up for work for a month. Should I be fired?

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 5d

My goal is to become a gentleman farmer. I want to raise chickens, goats and vegetables. I want the community to have free access to eggs, goat milk and fresh produce. We won’t take any money. It’s like a kibbutz. I also want to have a little free library. It’s a peaceful way to spend retirement.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 5d

THANKS A LOT OBAMA!!! 🐶🐶🐶🐶😛

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 5d

Change “content” to “themes” if you don’t mind. I had a second thought about that choice of word.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 5d

Sure. But the content and style are similar. I’ll leave it to art critics to judge which art is better. That dude looks like Soviet Superman…

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 5d

I recall playing this game late at night with all the lights off. Spooky times!

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 5d

Do a search for “socialist realism art” and see if you see any similarities to these pieces of work. It’s remarkable.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 6d

Caesar sees her! Seize her!

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 6d

This is awful news. I hope all the victims will make a full recovery.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 6d

Let’s get dressed up and go to Waffle House for breakfast!