Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 22h

the problem with a decade of shitposting and rubbing shoulders with high profile people means now im thinking of reaching out to someone high profile for work but i literally cannot remember if they were once a target of a shitposting campaign i did or not. who remembers anymore

3

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 1d

high earner not rich yet. basically it’s the subreddit for people under 50 who earn 150k

2

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 1d

2

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 2d

starmer is literally glowing every time he thinks about bollywood

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 2d

4

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 4d

just got racially abused on the bus (im fine) and i messaged my friend, and this photo of me with an england flag is popping up mid racial abuse telling

Reposted by Kav

Alicia Kraft @aliciakraft.bsky.social · May 27

Kinda BS that nobody cares if I call myself a "cat mom" but they act weird when I call myself a "cat MILF"

10 89 500

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 6d

there’s a bug on my whatsapp restricted to just one friend where every time she sends me a message it replies with a photo of me with an england flag

2 8

Reposted by Kav

Techpriest @techpriest.bsky.social · 6d

Question: How to get Keir Starmer to look the most normal he has ever looked in high office

Answer: Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol

1 9

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 6d

left: keir starmer winning the election and becoming the first labour prime minister in 14 years

right: keir starmer watches his first bollywood clip

4 9 32

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 6d

in absolute tears at this. i’ve never seen keir starmer so happy and genuine before. while being forced to watch ddlj, a bollywood film from 1996

1 8 33

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 7d

charlie and the chocolate factory but with charlie (kurtan) instead of charlie

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 7d

charlie and the chocolate factory remake but with granda joe from instead of grandpa joe

1 1 2

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 8d

my low stakes conspiracy theory is mounjaro and wegovy get huge media coverage because streeting is using it to test demand for a privatised nhs. every time you order a jab online you provide data to streeting to prove his privitisation case x

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 11d

baddie mccann

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 12d

why have i never attempted to be a paneer influencer. please be influenced by me i am an authority on paneer

2

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 12d

i ordered the dominos paneer pizza and im afraid to say it’s delicious. it’s a throwback to the pizzas id get in india. i recommend it thank you

1 3

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 14d

low stakes conspiracy: britain is becoming purposely shit for younger people in order to tackle net migration numbers and brain drain everyone with the chance in to leaving

2

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 14d

idea for a bit: walking the streets of london holding a phone and then the phone gets stolen but the thief realises it’s not a phone, it was cake all along

2 3

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 15d

this is btw a common issue in indian mum facebook groups. safeguarding isn’t really a thing back home so women will regularly post about how they love children and want to go help at an orphanage but no one will let them. it’ll be a nightmare explaining this to people from less nonce coded cultures

5

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 15d

i can foresee community centres being absolutely overwhelmed with randos turning up to volunteer for their ilr and an exhausted safeguarding officer having to explain dbs checks and how “you can’t just walk in saying you like children and want to help some out for your immigration status”

1 7

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 15d

indefinite leave to remain in the uk but solely for jehovahs witnesses who flog magazines at you outside the station

1 6

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 15d

what even counts as voluntary work. like if you’re helping out at an extremely conservative church or cult to stop women have access to abortions does that count as voluntary service?

1 2

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 15d

this is some real suella braverman shit honestly. increasingly just think you should never trust a brown politician cos they’re all going to eventually sell their mums for a ministerial blow job

1 1

Kav @shilpa.bsky.social · 15d

shabana mahmoods announcement for getting ilr is a criteria that so few brits will meet (no benefits, no criminal record, proof of volunteering) indicating a long term conspiracy theory by mahmood to replace native brits with christians

2 3 19