Author | Lightnews

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 1d

Had no costume for tonight's party. So just wore all black and grabbed a Darth Vader helmet. Going as "Dar-iscount Vader"

Me wearing a black coat and a Darth Vader helmet

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 1d

Absolutely fucking amazing shit happening on facebook marketplace this weekend

an fb message asking if a bible has flat earth models in it

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 2d

Yall know I'm not kidding when I say I just sell literal junk online right? The last 3 days sales are a manual for 30 year electronics, a toddler toy, 2 pounds of protein powder, a charging cable, preowned shoes, and a bunch of empty cassette tapes

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 2d

Rosscreations does more for ACAB by decrease police budgets via wasting their fucking time than all of our posting combined. I get such a kick out of how much his local PD hates him www.facebook.com/reel/4266190...

1.8M views · 32K reactions | W | RossCreations

W

www.facebook.com

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 3d

Thanks! I learned a new word from you today lol

Only three scraps, my leather jacket mostly protected my hip and elbow, my jeans ripped right through though so my knee definitely stings

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 3d

I wonder how badly this is going to hurt when the adrenaline wears off lol

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 3d

I guess it has been about 6 years so I was well overdue to fall off a bike lol

Honestly a fucking miracle that I'm okay, I was going 20mph and in car traffic. Very glad I wore a leather jacket today, I would be fuuuuuuccckkked up otherwise as I slid like 5 feet on the ground

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 3d

I feel bad for people with REAL JOBS-- you're at WORK and I'm at home watching a guy on runescape attempt to eat half a million trout

A line of idiots in Runescape doing pushups with dozens of people around. (Im in gold armor)
Somewhere in the crowd, a guy is eating trout

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 4d

I did get my corrective lenses restriction removed, which I want to call a win but

A. I haven't driven a car in well over 5 years anyway
B. There is zero reason to not use glasses when driving anyway

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 4d

Better late than never: like years past the deadline I finally have a real ID

It was extremely rude of them to have me start the eye test on the 20/30 line? Like gurl that ain't happening, let's just go straight to 20/40

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 4d

Alice yes I actually agree but my other hot take is: I was too dumb to figure it out prior to copper golems. Lmao

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 4d

Literally changed my entire item sorting game so hard lol, theyre great

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 5d

With 9 days in the month left to make money with no expenses remaining oh ho HO

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 5d

I may have $90 left to my entire name but I made it through the month having paid rent, paid off the credit card, still buying for the ebay business, and I didnt starve to death. woo

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 5d

Fucking Mark Fuckerberg...

Facebook accout disabled for..... password phishing? I have obviously done nothing of the sort and nothing that could een be misconstrued as this. And of course there is literally NO WAY to contact someone at FB. Amazing what these people get away with

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 6d

On the other hand "being incapable of not fucking jabbering" was actually huge when it came to building relationships in an office where that was beneficial. Mgmt purposefully looked the other way when I spent 45 minutes on the phone for a simple order because they knew it helped when we need favors

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 6d

Idk if this is helpful, but I, too, have zero ability to shut the actual fuck up. In professional settings I've found the best defense to overtalking is to not start talking at all when not necessary. This has often had me labeled as quiet (lol. lmao even) but it's better than the alternative

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 7d

I'm pretty sure this is verbatim what King George III wouldve posted in TikTok existed in the 1770s

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 8d

Trump posts AI video showing him literally dumping shit on America

Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 7d

family photo!!

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 8d

I am not smart with *any* of my stuff but my glasses are probably my number 1 most lost item lmao

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 9d

The even dumber part is all the Minneapolis mayor candidates pushing for the same illegal and unenforceable law when it is *literally already on the minneapolis books*

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Reposted by Offbrand Ken From B*rbie

Alice @nolas-socks.bsky.social · 9d

Remember kids, gun control is all about optics and looking like you did something, not about actually doing anything share.google/lcvCNE6xrr5W...

St. Paul leaders set to propose gun law they can't enforce

The City of St. Paul is planning to introduce a gun violence prevention ordinance next week, one that state law prevents them from enforcing.

share.google

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 9d

Id bet I was at like hennepin and 9th

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 9d

Good lordt do we needa ban right on red yesterday. It melts people's brains into thinking a right turn is always just a green light, even when you have a red arrow

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Offbrand Ken From B*rbie @sdrockcab.bsky.social · 9d

defend myself; defend myself; half the time the drunk drivers are the cops; yes it is