Author | Lightnews

It was always so exciting! When they didn't have something I wanted, I'd just roam around and maybe stumble on some hidden treasure.
Whenever I'm dog sitting, the owners have 32463 streaming services and I am so overwhelmed that I end up watching something old like "Hart to Hart."

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Reposted by jamie

rabbit @rabbit-heart.bsky.social · 4d

Friends, I am furloughed and I've run out of money to keep myself afloat. If anyone can help I would really appreciate it.

I'm on the various apps as rabbit0heart

Thank you.

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 4d

Under his eye 💩

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 4d

Ugh and then I get an ad for activia feat. Jamie Lee Curtis while I’m pooping and doomscrolling

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 5d

My power is out and my neighbor upstairs is yelling and screaming. Where should I go for brunch?

jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 7d

It’s my last day with the sausage casing! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 8d

I’m a very light sleeper except when it comes to earthquakes!

SFGATE @sfgate.com · 8d

An earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of 3.1 shook the East Bay on Thursday morning, according to the United States Geological Survey.

Earthquake with 3.1 preliminary magnitude jolts Bay Area on Great ShakeOut day

The moderate shake came on the same day as the state's annual earthquake drill.

bit.ly

jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 8d

Today is Bra Reconstruction Awareness Day (BRA Day) and if you search “braday“ on Instagram, it seems more like Brad Pitt Awareness Day.

jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 9d

Is the skims pubic hair thong a joke or is it really actually sold out? #merkin

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 9d

I wish my mom had your willpower. 🥴

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 12d

I can’t lift/push/pull anything over 10lbs right now but my doctor didn’t say no dancing. I want to go ouuuuut.

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 13d

Why can’t we have nice things. UGH

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 14d

Not me grabbing a basket at the store only to carry around my items AND the basket separately. The cashier was just as confused as I was lol. WTH

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 14d

Living in a house for a month has been SO NICE. I don’t want to share walls again and live in my tiny box. 🥺

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 15d

This compression garment makes me feel like I’m in 1902, but also I think it’s for BBLs, because my ass is the only part of me that can breathe.💨

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 16d

Back to hating my reflection. It was fun while it lasted!

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 17d

I know the point of medical leave is to do nothing but I feel really guilty that I slept til noon and only just showered at 3:30 (I’ve done this plenty of times not on medical leave and also felt guilty about it)

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 18d

I think it was that combined with steroids from his back surgery maybe?

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 18d

Okay I don’t mind Ted as much as Nick Stokes eyebrows. Leave them alone, bud!!

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jamie @schlagenhagen.bsky.social · 19d

😎

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