Author | Lightnews

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3m

And people deciding that UW and bones showing is attractive again is making my goals insanely and dangerously low, which will make me sick of course, but I can't imagine being attractive any more in my life it does nothing but hurt me and I never want anyone to see me sexually ever again

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3m

Yeah it can work many ways. I was SA'd when I was ow and obese the most so those weights are "tainted/sexual" now which I want nothing to do with cuz it gives me really bad flashbacks. Sucks being an obese kid :/ I've found "looking insecure" led me to getting hurt a lot, wish I was uglier :'(

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 12m

Finally having a fast after several days hooray. Just can't fuck it up tonight

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 54m

Today I'm actually gonna restrict again? Sweet. It's been a few days.

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1h

Like my bf called and his voice was grating so I wasn't responding well and he asked if I wanted him to leave me be, which I said yes to of course. But like, I shouldn't find my loved ones so fucking annoying I feel and act like such a shit person for it I don't wanna be like this.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1h

I really don't like hating people as much as I do. And I wanna get tested for ASPD or something, but I'm worried either they'll ignore me cuz of my autism, or they will formally diagnose me ASPD and I will never get a formal autism diagnosis. Idk. People just suck and I hate them a lot.

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1h

This includes both my partners and my like 1-2 friends and I know I have to suck it up and socialize and be nice to these people in order to keep them cuz that's just how life works, but fuck there must be some other easier way I just don't know about right???

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1h

I really don't like hating people as much as I do. And I wanna get tested for ASPD or something, but I'm worried either they'll ignore me cuz of my autism, or they will formally diagnose me ASPD and I will never get a formal autism diagnosis. Idk. People just suck and I hate them a lot.

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1h

Because my body has been used and abused and sexualized a lot at any weight deemed "healthy" or even remotely okay (and especially ow and obese) so I want to look as sick as I feel inside for having all this happen to me. Plus being disabled and not looking it also hurts :/

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 9h

Insane that when I eat a fuckton, I still wake up skinny... Now imagine if I actually ate res or something hmmm

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 9h

My goal is to be sick, genuinely, but I still cannot stand actual pro-ana-style content whatsoever. I know my brain is fucked up for wanting to be sick, I don't wanna go around romanticizing or promoting it and I hate that people do romanticize it cuz it makes my goals so so far away

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 19h

Walked and burned 400cal today, so I feel a little better after bingeing.

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 20h

Same I was at my lw and now I gained 10kg ughhh

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 21h

This has to be my ONLY binge day this month besides my anniversary, or I'm so fucked! I don't wanna eat everything in the house we can't afford that

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 22h

Eating too much chocolate again but that's fine

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 23h

Having second breakfast cuz I walked a lot today and don't wanna, like, die.

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Perogies for slightly early dinner, then I get to have more chocolate yayyy

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Aww thanks so much!

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

You made it???? Omg it looks amazing! You look so great in it

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

bsky.app/profile/scar...

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

🪾°* November *°☕

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

sw : 50.6kg/111.5lbs (19.3)
gw : 49kg/108lbs (18.7)

Rules:
1.5k steps/day minimum
"Cheat days" for away trip
IF 5x/week

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

🪾°* November *°☕

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Gonna attempt to lose 1kg before my anniversary with my bf near the end of the month. I think I can manage, provided I don't candy-binge every single day

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Reposted by Noah is trying|non-ed DNI

myra (-0/30) @drownedlillies.bsky.social · Aug 28

i think about this post every day

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

I pulled my jaw last night right before bed and it still hurtssss

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Updated my profile for November! This year went by so, so fast, it's a little scary...

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