Author | Lightnews

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · 1d

Wife comment as she walks in and out of the movie to do stuff…
#shakespeare #nakedgun #comedy #familyguy #paramountpictures

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · 7d

Wow… Primark have unveiled their Kristi Noem “fascistica-chic” range.

Interesting

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · 7d

The new TRON movie’s marketing department are showing brazen honesty 😳

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · 16d

I only noticed that Foreigner detesting (allegedly) GB News have all these food trucks from #Turkish
#Chinese
#mexican
#asian
#lebanese
Countries
Must drive them mad as they try to get to Good ol’ British Marks and Spencer’s opposite…
Excellent trolling!

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · 17d

“Won” this award in 2013 and I still think this is my proudest achievement….

You would have to have worked with me to understand…
#award #bafta #mileyraycyrus #winning #tigerblood

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Sep 25

Today we say goodbye to one of the great icons of cinema. Claudia Cardinale’s presence on screen was at once luminous and powerful, unforgettable in every role she chose.

Her performance in Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in the West remains sublime and eternal .

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Sep 24

Just had the greatest idea 💡—rebrand the Terminator franchise for local markets.
Forget “I’ll be back”, now it’s “I’ll be back… after tea” 🍵😂
This is gonna be a franchise killer app… literally. 🤖🔥

#TheLocalinator #IWillBeBackBruh #MarketTerminator #ComedySkynet #HastaLaVistaBaby

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Sep 21

Poor old Peter Mandelson… 🚫📉
Cancelled for being Machiavelli’s long-lost genetic brother 🧬😈

#Cancelled #MachiavelliVibes #PoliticalDrama #ComedyPost #SavageHistory #ModernProblems #DarkHumour 😂👀

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Sep 13

Ozzy Osbourne in Heaven – Part 3 ✨👼
It’s strange that the Prince of Darkness 🤘🖤 spent his whole career being a nice guy… and ended up in heaven! 😂☁️

Turns out, even angels need a little rock & roll. 🎸😇
L

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Sep 5

New Fuzzy Dice Sketch:
It was a sad day when Ozzy Osbourne passed away… but I can’t help imagining him at the Pearly Gates just looking around, completely bemused. Like—‘how the hell did I get in here?!’ 😂

The man is a legend!

#shorts #ozzyosbourne #princeofdarkness #comedy #sketch

3

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 29

Who knew handing out leaflets could turn into a full contact sport? 🤦‍♂️ Only one man could turn the world’s easiest job into a fight scene from Fast & Furious. 💀😂

#ComedyGold #OnlyMe #HowDidThisHappen #EpicFail #StreetDrama #AccidentalHero #ClownEnergy #DailyStruggle #WhenLifeAttacks #SendHelp 😂

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 22

Dear Daily Mail

You accidentally put some rogue quotation marks in your deadline… I have corrected that.

You’re welcome

#dailymail #newspaper

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 15

David Walliams will no doubt take this in good humour — after all, his life has been anything but ordinary! From bestselling author to cheeky comedian, his extraordinary journey continues to entertain and inspire. 📚🎭😂”

#DavidWalliams #ComedyLegend #FunnyMan #GoodHumour #short #shorts

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 13

Anyone who has been to an Angus Steakhouse can relate to this truism ….
#restaurant #steakhouse

1

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 12

Tracey Emin has gone back to basics.
Basics being… exactly what she did years ago,
but now in a post–Liz Truss, Boris Johnson world. 🌍💡📶

#TraceyEmin #BackToBasics #ModernArt #SameButDifferent #GlowUp #ArtHumor #ArtsyJokes #GalleryGiggles #ContemporaryArt #PostPostModern

1

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 12

💡 BREAKING: The Uniquely Talented has cracked the comedy formula for fame, fortune, and a Hampstead mansion… all thanks to his 17th “million-dollar idea” this week. Spoiler: it’s even worse than the last one. 🏆💷🏠

#short #shorts #comedy #edinburghfringe #davidwalliams

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 8

So apparently billionaire Jim Ratcliffe needs help from Manchester Council to build Manchester United’s new stadium. 🤯
Didn’t realise begging bowls were now luxury items for the rich too. 💰🍲
Next up: Elon Musk doing a GoFundMe for his next rocket. 🚀
#PassTheHat #CouncilCashSplash

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 7

The Real Toy Story… UK edition 🇬🇧
Left behind in the garden like yesterday’s roast dinner 🥲

Andy didn’t just grow up. He moved to Essex.
#JusticeForToys

#RealToyStory
#UKToyStory
#KidsBeSavage
#AbandonedToysClub
#ToyStoryButBritish
#BuzzLightyearOnBenefits
#WoodyNeedsASocialWorker

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 6

There’s no such thing as a free lunch”… unless you’re loitering near a Greggs sample tray. Modern problems require modern snacking solutions. 🥐😂

If you’re enjoying the nonsense, help us cook up more comedy! Support us on Patreon so we can keep the jokes (and sausage rolls) coming 👉 Link in bio.

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 5

🚨 Hello, Kerning Police? 🚨
We’ve got a Code Red — someone’s been kerning with criminal intent.
Passersby are reading “F ARMERS M ARKET” and now they think it’s an avant-garde art piece.
Send backup. This spacing is OUT OF CONTROL. 🫣🔠🚔

#KerningFail #DesignCrime #SpacingMatters #TypographyEmergency

1

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 3

David Hockney is an absolute legend, but why does his body always look like a limited-edition toy figurine you’d find in an artsy kid’s Happy Meal? 🎨🧸

Who else would buy a Hockney collectible set with tiny round glasses, a striped shirt, and a mini paintbrush? ✋

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Aug 1

📚 Just picked up Nightmare USA by Stephen Thrower, an essential deep dive into American exploitation cinema. This book is a real slice of cinematic history for anyone obsessed with the weirder, wilder side of film. From low-budget horrors to grindhouse gems, it’s a goldmine of insight.

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Jul 31

Just saw Michelle Wolf’s WIP show at @sohotheatre and she crushed it. 🔥 Smart, fearless, and absolutely hilarious, can’t wait to see the full hour come together. 👏

If you’re into sharp stand-up and discovering shows in the making, get yourself to a WIP night at Soho. Totally worth it.

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Jul 29

Fuzzy Dice Comedy sketch on that curiojs urban music thay call Drill youtube.com/shorts/ba8RP...
#drill #grime #sosolidcrew

🎤 The Woke Asian Guy Explains Grime to Boomers | Simple Guide to “That Racket” 🎧

YouTube video by Fuzzy Dice Comedy

youtube.com

Sandip Mahal @sandipmahal.bsky.social · Jul 25

When Vinnie Jones tells you to “be kind” right after threatening to rip someone’s head off in a pub…
💀😂

The man went from two-foot tackles to TED Talks.
Respect the evolution, but don’t pretend you didn’t once scare grass off the pitch.
#ComedyGold #VinnieJonesVibes #HardManHypocrisy #short #shorts