Sam Grittner
@samgrittner.bsky.social
Pinned
Sam Grittner
@samgrittner.bsky.social
· Sep 20
Ask your doctor if the human condition is right for you
LeBron James is French for ‘the Bron James.’
October 27, 2025 at 9:17 PM
LeBron James is French for ‘the Bron James.’
TRUMP: “The time has come to send the Mayor of Chicago and the Governor of Illinois to gitmo!”
DEMOCRATS via text message: “THIS IS NOT NORMAL! Reply with a $25 donation to make your voice heard! We will NOT be afraid! We will NOT shut up! We will NOT do anything beyond convey empty rhetoric!”
DEMOCRATS via text message: “THIS IS NOT NORMAL! Reply with a $25 donation to make your voice heard! We will NOT be afraid! We will NOT shut up! We will NOT do anything beyond convey empty rhetoric!”
October 8, 2025 at 4:35 PM
TRUMP: “The time has come to send the Mayor of Chicago and the Governor of Illinois to gitmo!”
DEMOCRATS via text message: “THIS IS NOT NORMAL! Reply with a $25 donation to make your voice heard! We will NOT be afraid! We will NOT shut up! We will NOT do anything beyond convey empty rhetoric!”
DEMOCRATS via text message: “THIS IS NOT NORMAL! Reply with a $25 donation to make your voice heard! We will NOT be afraid! We will NOT shut up! We will NOT do anything beyond convey empty rhetoric!”
Reposted by Sam Grittner
I’m begging all of you: please stop pulling over and asking if I need a ride. I’m giving you a thumbs-up so you know you’re doing a good job driving. Also, yes. I do need a ride.
December 1, 2024 at 12:26 AM
I’m begging all of you: please stop pulling over and asking if I need a ride. I’m giving you a thumbs-up so you know you’re doing a good job driving. Also, yes. I do need a ride.
Mr. Beast is going to win an Emmy for a video called something like, “LAST ORPHAN OUT AT THE MURDER-SUICIDE MANSION!”
October 8, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Mr. Beast is going to win an Emmy for a video called something like, “LAST ORPHAN OUT AT THE MURDER-SUICIDE MANSION!”
Is the news leaving you depressed? Does the world make you sad now? Is each day worst than the one before? WELCOME TO HOW I’VE FELT MY ENTIRE LIFE, bitches! Shit sucks, don’t it? Just SMILE!
October 8, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Is the news leaving you depressed? Does the world make you sad now? Is each day worst than the one before? WELCOME TO HOW I’VE FELT MY ENTIRE LIFE, bitches! Shit sucks, don’t it? Just SMILE!
The Oregon Trail but instead of fjording a river you throw used car batteries in it. Instead of killing animals for meat you build a data center in the forest. Instead of dying from dysentery you die from smallpox AND dysentery.
October 8, 2025 at 3:34 PM
The Oregon Trail but instead of fjording a river you throw used car batteries in it. Instead of killing animals for meat you build a data center in the forest. Instead of dying from dysentery you die from smallpox AND dysentery.
Come see me perform stand-up comedy one last time! Sat. June 21st at the Pine Box Rock Shop in BK. $10, all proceeds going to the Ali Forney Center to help at-risk LGBTQ+ youth.
7pm! Travis is hilarious, Lucy is a comedy genius, plus, me?!
7pm! Travis is hilarious, Lucy is a comedy genius, plus, me?!
June 7, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Come see me perform stand-up comedy one last time! Sat. June 21st at the Pine Box Rock Shop in BK. $10, all proceeds going to the Ali Forney Center to help at-risk LGBTQ+ youth.
7pm! Travis is hilarious, Lucy is a comedy genius, plus, me?!
7pm! Travis is hilarious, Lucy is a comedy genius, plus, me?!
Reposted by Sam Grittner
Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two.
June 1, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two.
Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two.
June 1, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two.
Happy belated 4/20 + Easter
“He has resin.”
“He has resin.”
April 22, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Happy belated 4/20 + Easter
“He has resin.”
“He has resin.”
Haha! Get him, leopards! Wait… no, stop! My face! My beautiful white Anglo face! How could this have happened TO ME?!
JENA, La. (AP) — Immigration judge rules that Columbia University activist Mahmoud Khalil can be deported.
April 11, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Haha! Get him, leopards! Wait… no, stop! My face! My beautiful white Anglo face! How could this have happened TO ME?!
They’re really doing it… De-Ba'athification for old folks. You know who’s ready to strap on a vest because the government says no more money for you? 90-year-olds.
April 11, 2025 at 8:13 PM
They’re really doing it… De-Ba'athification for old folks. You know who’s ready to strap on a vest because the government says no more money for you? 90-year-olds.
Reposted by Sam Grittner
All the wrong people hate themselves.
April 10, 2025 at 2:16 PM
All the wrong people hate themselves.
Reposted by Sam Grittner
If someone owns…
0-5 snakes, they also sell weed.
6-10 snakes, they also sell molly.
11-20 snakes, they also sell swords and ketamine.
20-40 snakes, they also sell the good swords and fake social security cards.
50+ snakes, they also sell snakes.
0-5 snakes, they also sell weed.
6-10 snakes, they also sell molly.
11-20 snakes, they also sell swords and ketamine.
20-40 snakes, they also sell the good swords and fake social security cards.
50+ snakes, they also sell snakes.
November 29, 2024 at 2:38 AM
If someone owns…
0-5 snakes, they also sell weed.
6-10 snakes, they also sell molly.
11-20 snakes, they also sell swords and ketamine.
20-40 snakes, they also sell the good swords and fake social security cards.
50+ snakes, they also sell snakes.
0-5 snakes, they also sell weed.
6-10 snakes, they also sell molly.
11-20 snakes, they also sell swords and ketamine.
20-40 snakes, they also sell the good swords and fake social security cards.
50+ snakes, they also sell snakes.
All the wrong people hate themselves.
April 10, 2025 at 2:16 PM
All the wrong people hate themselves.
Capitalism is socialism but only for the top 1%.
April 10, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Capitalism is socialism but only for the top 1%.
The leftist Beekeeper’s origin story? I’m listening…
April 1, 2025 at 2:33 AM
The leftist Beekeeper’s origin story? I’m listening…
I moved to NYC when I was 25, which means this year is 18 years out here. I’ve always lived with multiple roommates. I currently live with 7 other people. But tomorrow, I move into my own studio apartment in Brooklyn. It is a dream come true. I “won” it because of the NYC housing lottery. If you…
February 26, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I moved to NYC when I was 25, which means this year is 18 years out here. I’ve always lived with multiple roommates. I currently live with 7 other people. But tomorrow, I move into my own studio apartment in Brooklyn. It is a dream come true. I “won” it because of the NYC housing lottery. If you…
Does anyone want to do brunch or self-immolate this weekend?
February 14, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Does anyone want to do brunch or self-immolate this weekend?
HHS Rfk Jr takes his final form
February 13, 2025 at 5:46 PM
HHS Rfk Jr takes his final form
Eat glass. Walk into oncoming traffic. Break your arms and legs. Stop using the steering wheel when you drive. Turn off the lights. Start fires. Stop cutting your hair. Embrace slow gas leaks. Spend your kids college funds on online sports betting. And for the love of God: smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
February 13, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Eat glass. Walk into oncoming traffic. Break your arms and legs. Stop using the steering wheel when you drive. Turn off the lights. Start fires. Stop cutting your hair. Embrace slow gas leaks. Spend your kids college funds on online sports betting. And for the love of God: smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Still no legs? Interesting...
January 20, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Still no legs? Interesting...
I lie to make people happy, I waste precious energy resources, I hallucinate all the time… when do I get to be AI?
January 14, 2025 at 2:56 PM
I lie to make people happy, I waste precious energy resources, I hallucinate all the time… when do I get to be AI?