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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 9d

Failures as a white dude: haven’t seen Back to The Future or *gasp* The Godfather

Failures as an actor/theatermaker/person with a BFA: haven’t seen or read Hamlet in its entirety (and at this point it’s become a game to see how long I can keep that streak going)

Hannah Fearn @hannahfearn.bsky.social · 11d

Inspired by a post I just saw in which someone admitted they hadn’t seen a single episode of Friends nor the film Love Actually… what cultural hole do you have that’s a bit weird for your generation?

I’ll go first: I haven’t seen Dirty Dancing.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 10d

Self-tape auditions are a pain in the ass, but sometimes they give you an excuse to shout “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” at your boyfriend and that is a 10/10 experience that I cannot recommend enough.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 12d

Dealer: Name of the game is 5 card stud.
Player 1: I’m in.
Player 2: I’m in.
Me, wearing only 5 playing cards taped strategically to my body: So there’s been a misunderstanding.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 13d

One terrible thing about being from a small town is when you casually use a folksy phrase from home and immediately think "God, I hope that doesn't have a racist origin."

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 19d

Yeah, this tweet is about you, your boyfriend’s a notorious tool.

a man with his eyes closed and the words dump him girl written below him

ALT: a man with his eyes closed and the words dump him girl written below him

media.tenor.com

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 19d

Everyone argues about who the villain of Devil Wears Prada is, but we can all agree the moral of that story is “If you live in New York, your friends, lover, coworkers and boss will all be huge assholes.”

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 21d

New mother: Actually, we’d prefer to use ‘they/them’ pronouns until the baby is old enough to-
Me: Are you asking me to stop referring to your baby as “it”?
NM: Yes, please and thank you.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 22d

Much like all Dragon Quest games need Slimes and all Final Fantasies need Chocobos, all Silent Hills need an Ungodly Amalgamation of Ass and Titties that Represents the Oedipal Complex or Whatever.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 22d

It’s good to see the Silent Hill monster design team are still some of the biggest perverts to ever walk God’s green Earth.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 22d

“You don’t have a problem, lots of people have a glass of wine or two while they make dinner” I tell myself as I pull my 5-minute lasagna from the microwave.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 24d

Listen, if I knew the answer, I’d respond to you both.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 24d

I don’t workout to “get healthy”, I workout to “become the undead.”

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · 24d

The other day, a nurse told me my resting heart rate has gotten so low that it’s “basically the bare minimum to sustain life” and apparently “Sweet, almost to my goal” was NOT the response he wanted.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Sep 13

Happy birthday, hope you have a beautiful one!

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Aug 28

Can’t finish a series that’s not finished, baby! Book #5 drops next month and hopefully they adapt them all, they get better with age.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Aug 1

I mean, it’s a 12 song soundtrack, so it empirically does.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Aug 1

Listen, take it up with Kyle and Jenn of Apple Fitness+, I didn’t make the damn workouts.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Aug 1

How many KPop Demon Hunters songs can I add to my Bar Trivia Host playlist before I start getting complaints from the sports guys?

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Jul 28

Oh, come on, if somebody in this chain should be reprimanded, it is NOT me.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Jul 28

What can I say, my milkshake brings all the plants to the yard.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Jul 28

My high school bio teacher once said “allergies are just your body’s very reasonable reaction to plants trying to have sex with you” and I think about that every time I sneeze now.

KP Upadhyayula @kp11studios.bsky.social · Jul 28

My brain at 1am:

“Pollen is just plant jizz…

That chlorophyll cum…

If you got covered in pollen it means you’ve just been bukkake’d by a bunch of plants.”

Thanks brain…..

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Jun 23

Oh yeah, our apartment is not exactly chilly, but it’s totally manageable. This total breakdown was brought to you exclusively by the 5 minute walk to the grocery store.

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Jun 23

It’s 98 degrees in NYC today, all rules of dignity and decorum have been replaced with “mind your damn business.”

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Sam Ellis @samellis.bsky.social · Jun 23

If you saw me stick my head in the Hungry Man freezer at the grocery store while sobbing and quietly singing “Let It Go” to myself today, no you didn’t.

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Reposted by Sam Ellis

Boo Day @boodayrpg.bsky.social · May 24

Dudes, the "crisis" that men are facing, is self-imposed. You've flattened the definition of masculinity into something ugly, unhealthy and unsustainable. You don't need Communist Joe Rogan to appear to lead you to True Manhood, you just need to stop fearing empathy.

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