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saltbun

@saltbun.bsky.social

30 followers 32 following 1.4K posts

21+ | he/him | minors dni obsessed with blue lock 🦉

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saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 1d

heavy metal for her anger + world cup phonk edits to renew her will to live

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 1d

good enough! its getting cold anyways he can use a bit of warming

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

anri managed to make it more palatable (she was about to stab ego to death) (she probably labeled it under 'hologram tech complications' or 'gym equipment' and got some more funding.)

and then ego brought out wild card...

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

and then there was the final product.

late at night, when only ego is awake, he turns on blue lock man to the noel noa setting he painstakingly crafted and makes it play soccer. naked. with a chain around its neck. and he watches it through his cameras to get multiple angles.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

he spends a few days deliberating on the swell of not-noa's chest. when all was mostly done, he was left with a hologram of noa in boxers. but it wasnt enough.

it had been years, but ego did know what noa's dick looked and felt like. he adds in details between tests until it feels mostly right.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

if noa was a senseless, thrill seeking beast, ego was a hunter who wanted to capture its likeness above his fireplace and stare at him for hours on end.

ego uses his memory to fill in the gaps whenever video fails him. he puts in noas tan lines, the stretch marks around his butt and thighs-

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

you may wonder why ego would halfass this part. and that is because he was busy with more important things, like modeling a noel noa skin for blue lock man, making sure he got his hair and eye color right and that the vein in his right arm popped out just right and that his body was perfect.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

ego told anri that it 'could be used for goalkeeping', and then halfassedly fed blue lock man clips of goalkeepers. this is why blue lock man is hot garbage as a goalie. it has the goalie skills of noa, which is still p good but its ass by bllk standards.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

however, it ended up being a cheap imitation of the real thing. as robotic as noel noa seemed to be, there was still a human aspect to his plays that ego couldnt replicate with the current technology. Shame he realized this a couple hundred million yen in.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

ego blew half of blue locks billion yen budget on blue lock man ALONE. to be specific, he blew 45% of blue lock's budget on programming a noel noa ai. he tricked it out with noa's specs, and trained it on videos of noa's plays.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 2d

/// bllk ///

im too sleep deprived to write an actual fic but the blue locktober prompt for 10/15 was blue lock man and i have a Thought i squirreled away in my notes that i wanted to bring out i hope it counts

ship: noaego

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

!!!! YESSSSS !!!!

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

miscounted, he actually shows up three more times (7 total) but do i really count flashbacks

(yes i do, forgive me rinchan my eyes are dogshit)

cute cute cute

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

rin showing up only 4 times in this chapter should be a crime

hes so cute he makes me so happy

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

bachira's mom and isagi's parents are here!! like it makes sense for them to be there but i keep getting surprised at the presence of loving supportive parents and theyre wearing the merch and totally buying into it

ik theyre just cheering for japan but i want to think theyre also cheering for rin

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

/// bllk 321 ///
scans are out

i commuted too early and its 7 am and dark outside and raining

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

or sae might challenge isagi to a 1v1 and isagi would get way too caught up in it

'lets do a one on one. if i win, you fuck off and stay in your lane. if you win, ill keep away from rin for the duration of the wc'

'omg yes!!!' (no isagi, no)

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

*** current manga isagi is assertive but i feel like arguing w sae would partially be like arguing with noa. isagi would get worked up and be unable to properly articulate what exactly is wrong

then hed get dogwalked by sae and sae would have really good points and logic and itd just suck

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 4d

part of it might be because 'oh you made my bf sad + wtf you suck as a brother' but part of it is also 'if you cant properly appreciate rins skill, you have shit opinions on football and i do not like you'

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 5d

and rin ignores sae because sae 'is always like that' and 'it doesnt matter anymore bachira, just drop it' and the team won but it casts a shadow onto what shouldve been a happy moment for them. yeah, saes on bachiras shitlist

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 5d

like, manga rin might say he dgaf about sae but imagine yourself in bachiras shoes. maybe hes even projecting some of his 'why is my dad absent' feelings into this. and rin played the most beautiful free soccer youve ever seen. and sae says nothing. maybe implies its not good enough.

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 5d

pre reconciliation

bcrn: 3/10. sae understands but bachira cornered him in the hallway and psychoanalyzed him and that was annoying

bcrnis: 0/10. isagi cancels out bachira

post reconciliation:

bcrn: -1/10

bcrnis: -2/10 double the green flags

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 5d

basically if its pre reconciliation, sae might need to team up with isagi to get around bachira

if its post reconciliation tho, bachira is just his normal self and hed share his fries with sae if they were out at restaurants and be really really good at football (always a plus in sae's eyes)

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 5d

bachira kissing rin and cuddling rin and popping up whenever sae wants to talk to rin alone. interrupting whatever chance sae has at reconciliation because as far as bachiras concerned, sae doesnt deserve reconciliation because he made rin cry

saltbun @saltbun.bsky.social · 5d

isagi might be like 'hm i can actually see saes point but sae shouldve said it better'

but bachira would place himself between sae and rin if needed, or if he senses rin being uncomfortable or if he flat out dislikes sae because he made his bf sad