Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl!
banner
rootvegserf.bsky.social
Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl!
@rootvegserf.bsky.social
520 followers 150 following 4.6K posts
Loyal serf of & Catchfart to the Bretwalda of #Wülferhampton. Grower & retailer of the best-ish root vegetables in Mercia. Owner of Þe Newe Crawlinge Bastarde. BUY GRANNY R'S TURNIP GIN (57 varieties)
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Pinned
Thanks, but you may want to unfollow. This is a very, very strange a/c. Summary below.

Or maybe not.
Pasture the Wülferhampton flock of cows on top of the wall, get them to jump up and down a lot in fear of the Danes, then milk* them straight onto the popcorn

* which should be butter by this time.
Might not be across the road, just between posts along the side
Practical solution: have a team out tomorrow removing all the tatty flag-shagger crap, then use it as kindling for the genuinely traditional and patriotic bonfire on Wednesday. Who could object to that?
We need to treat the Refuckers the same way we treat the Asian Hornets
Obviously I haven't worked out all the details, I'm more a blue-sky, ball-park thinker, but we have plenty of sugar beet in the fields, so we could grate that on one side of the wall, and use the salt tears of the dead Danes' weeping women and children on the other side?
Travellators? (Horrible word) like what they have at airports?

Or you could rig up one of those hanging bar ski-lift things that runs on a track through every room. Just reach up and hang on as a strap passes.
I'm starting to sympathise Lord, late middle age can be a pain. It's when I get up from a chair or the bed they twinge. Wearing knee supports works very well, but you can't wear them 24/7.

Have just ordered one of these cunning 1-person electric bi-carts. Be interesting to see how that goes.
But sadly, I suspect, as practicable of one of Baldrick's cunning plans.
It's a cunning ploy, Lord. You build a handy low wall of corn about a foot high, no serious inconvenience to anyone, but when invaders draw nigh you torch the oil filled ditch next to it and bingo, a twenty foot high wall of popcorn. And if you're lucky the popping corn might take the Danes' eye out
That's it! I knew oats came into it. A very gallant cereal.
Prices are astronomical these days. Cod chips and MPs was about 12 quid last time I went. What happened to the days of popping out for six of chips in newspaper?

There was a new artisan pizza joint open in north a few months ago. Seriously nice but about £15 a pop.
Verdamt autocorrupt. I of course meant gloats.
Have you watched the Grand Sumo on NHL World (website). Very soothing. Particularly when a 30 stone rikishi lands on a spectator in row 2. Incredibly subtle rules (no hair pulling, but face-slapping is okay)
Sounds about right. The boxes get smaller every year, so by now I think we're down to one of the round yellow toffees rattling round the tin.
It's not as if the technology doesn't exist. Most earbuds come with it.
No worries, even illuminati gotta earn a living
Dodgy suppliers, eh? Just ordering myself a nice e-bike (too many hills around here) & they are offering Worry-Free (TM) delivery for £20 extra

I believe that if there are any problems with non-delivery or damage in transit then that's already their problem, under the various Distance Selling Laws