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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl!

@rootvegserf.bsky.social

520 followers 150 following 4.6K posts

Loyal serf of & Catchfart to the Bretwalda of #Wülferhampton. Grower & retailer of the best-ish root vegetables in Mercia. Owner of Þe Newe Crawlinge Bastarde. BUY GRANNY R'S TURNIP GIN (57 varieties)

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · Nov 27

Thanks, but you may want to unfollow. This is a very, very strange a/c. Summary below.

Or maybe not.

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 11h

The secret of my business success.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 13h

Pasture the Wülferhampton flock of cows on top of the wall, get them to jump up and down a lot in fear of the Danes, then milk* them straight onto the popcorn

* which should be butter by this time.

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 15h

Much like the fash who put them up.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 15h

Might not be across the road, just between posts along the side

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 16h

Practical solution: have a team out tomorrow removing all the tatty flag-shagger crap, then use it as kindling for the genuinely traditional and patriotic bonfire on Wednesday. Who could object to that?

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 16h

We need to treat the Refuckers the same way we treat the Asian Hornets

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 16h

Obviously I haven't worked out all the details, I'm more a blue-sky, ball-park thinker, but we have plenty of sugar beet in the fields, so we could grate that on one side of the wall, and use the salt tears of the dead Danes' weeping women and children on the other side?

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 16h

Travellators? (Horrible word) like what they have at airports?

Or you could rig up one of those hanging bar ski-lift things that runs on a track through every room. Just reach up and hang on as a strap passes.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 16h

I'm starting to sympathise Lord, late middle age can be a pain. It's when I get up from a chair or the bed they twinge. Wearing knee supports works very well, but you can't wear them 24/7.

Have just ordered one of these cunning 1-person electric bi-carts. Be interesting to see how that goes.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 16h

But sadly, I suspect, as practicable of one of Baldrick's cunning plans.

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

It's a cunning ploy, Lord. You build a handy low wall of corn about a foot high, no serious inconvenience to anyone, but when invaders draw nigh you torch the oil filled ditch next to it and bingo, a twenty foot high wall of popcorn. And if you're lucky the popping corn might take the Danes' eye out

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Not on the caravan sites!

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

That's it! I knew oats came into it. A very gallant cereal.

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Correction NHK World

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Prices are astronomical these days. Cod chips and MPs was about 12 quid last time I went. What happened to the days of popping out for six of chips in newspaper?

There was a new artisan pizza joint open in north a few months ago. Seriously nice but about £15 a pop.

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Verdamt autocorrupt. I of course meant gloats.

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Have you watched the Grand Sumo on NHL World (website). Very soothing. Particularly when a 30 stone rikishi lands on a spectator in row 2. Incredibly subtle rules (no hair pulling, but face-slapping is okay)

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

How many goats was it (with chips)?

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Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Sounds about right. The boxes get smaller every year, so by now I think we're down to one of the round yellow toffees rattling round the tin.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

It's not as if the technology doesn't exist. Most earbuds come with it.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

He doesn't like heretics?

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

Jean a de longues moustache

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 1d

You, Sir, are a bodily self-polluter.

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 2d

No worries, even illuminati gotta earn a living

Root Veg Serf. Hir Oes i'n Llyw Annwyl! @rootvegserf.bsky.social · 2d

Dodgy suppliers, eh? Just ordering myself a nice e-bike (too many hills around here) & they are offering Worry-Free (TM) delivery for £20 extra

I believe that if there are any problems with non-delivery or damage in transit then that's already their problem, under the various Distance Selling Laws

Worry-Free Delivery™ for £20.09 GBP
Get a full refund if the order doesn't arrive as described, including loss & damage in transit