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My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman

@romancereactions.bsky.social

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Romance novel reactions. #NSFW, unmarked spoilers ahead. Home of the #OnlyOneBed to #SurpriseBaby pipeline. Book recommendations welcome, the weirder the better.

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My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Somehow the Mafia is also involved? But not as the good guys. You can tell because they seem sleazy.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

I feel like I would have gone whole-hog and made the FMC Creole and descended from a voodoo queen instead, because New Orleans. But, hey, I am not the bestselling romance novelist.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

FMC is running the New Orleans magic shop left to her by her late grandfather, who claimed to be half-Gypsy and descended from a Gypsy queen.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

I stand corrected: an abusive *ex* husband. Who is a cop.

It's a stereotype, but it's a stereotype for a reason.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Also this book promises a pegging scene.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

The series: Hidden Hollow is a small town in New England where it is somehow always the peak of fall color. It's populated by magical creatures, all of whom are somehow sexually compatible with humans.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

The book: Guarded by the Gargoyle by Evangeline Anderson. A witch touches a gargoyle, who comes to life, declares her his #FatedMate, and helps her get out of an abusive marriage. Marketed to the #Monsterfuckers.

(Hi, I identify as a Monsterfucker, thank you for asking.)

Book cover for Guarded by the Gargoyle by Evangeline Anderson. A man with gray skin, a six-pack, and wings stands next to light-skinned, plus-sized woman with black hair. She's looking at the viewer with one hand on her hip, and wearing a pink top and jeans.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

I will note that this one is mis-marked; it is not part of the Kindred Monstrum sequence, which are the ones for Monsterfuckers. This is a standard alien romance.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Spoiler-free review of Pairing with the Protector by Evangeline Anderson: 4/5. Short and sweet. Formulaic as always, but the author always manages to come up with fun and interesting details to make each book enjoyable.

Caveat: don't read this as your first Kindred novel, it will not make sense.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

It's a #BabiesEverAfter ending, as always with the Kindred. Though this time more literally than usual - they're having triplets.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Y'all, stop vowing to never love (again). Because karma is going to come for you and make you look really stupid.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

The MMC is a special kind of stubborn. He got a second visit from the Goddess telling him to get his head out of his ass.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

They're home, the FMC is pregnant (though she hasn't told the MMC), and he's talking about breaking their soul bond. *sigh*

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

The MMC is being such a dumbass that the Kindred goddess personally told him to stop moping and get off his ass.

(This is a thing that happens in this books. Yes, it is a shortcut. No, I don't care.)

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

And the MMC's first thought transmitted over their new soul bond is how he never wanted this to happen, and he'd rather they weren't bonded. Great job.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

So, um, yeah. They're, uh, tied. In front of a whole crowd of aliens. And they're going to be stuck that way for awhile.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

... Did I mention that this is a #knotting book? Yes, this particular variety of Kindred has a "mating fist" at the base of their dick that has to be fully inserted for bonding sex (which is also the only kind of sex that can result in a pregnancy).

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Uh-oh. Apparently their "owner" drugged the FMC with a substance that's going to make her horny and subject her to pain unless she is, uh, bred.

So they're going to have to fully commit to putting the P in the V this time.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

"To avoid heartbreak later, I'm going to break both our hearts now!" Great plan, my guy, that's definitely going to work.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

The MMC has determined that they will never make it home, and for some reason in his head that means he needs to create emotional distance from the FMC in preparation for their inevitable separation.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Did I mention that Kindred are really into going down on their fated mates? It's not just something they're into; it's a biological imperative.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

Yeah, this is only "practice" in the sense that the P did not actually go in the V.

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

"Let's practice pretending to have sex so we can be really convincing about it later!"

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 4

It is not technically an #OnlyOneBed situation because it's more like a saggy hammock. But it is definitely an #OnlyOneBed scene in spirit.

The characters blamed the 'nip. Sure, friends, you definitely would have kept your bits to yourselves without the drugs. *skeptical eyebrow*

My Book Boyfriend Is An Alien Mobster Hitman @romancereactions.bsky.social · Jan 3

Anyway, they are now getting high on the equivalent of a catnip ball.

Their cage is also equipped with a hamster wheel, a cat tree, and a pet-style water bottle. All appropriately sized for humans.