robbwitmer
@robbwitmer.info
The guy who jumped through the wedding cake in the Guns n’ Roses “November Rain” music video
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robbwitmer
@robbwitmer.info
· Mar 30
many people are saying Star Wars really happened
incredible things happening down at the Being Stupid factory
Wow. Tesla expects to end Model S and Model X production in Q2, giving them an "honorable discharge"
Converting space at Fremont to Optimus production space
Converting space at Fremont to Optimus production space
January 29, 2026 at 12:17 AM
incredible things happening down at the Being Stupid factory
it doesn’t specifically say “yacht” so not sure if it applies to me
This may be the best encapsulation of Republican 'Populism' imaginable. A picture is worth a thousand words and I can basically quite writing about it
January 29, 2026 at 12:05 AM
it doesn’t specifically say “yacht” so not sure if it applies to me
mid forties is top tier. you permanently feel 38, you can always play the “but I’m in my forties” wisdom card, and anytime you want to get out of doing something you can claim to be “practically fifty”
January 28, 2026 at 11:16 PM
mid forties is top tier. you permanently feel 38, you can always play the “but I’m in my forties” wisdom card, and anytime you want to get out of doing something you can claim to be “practically fifty”
one of the most humiliating things you could possibly say about doing job someone hired you to do
January 27, 2026 at 8:58 PM
one of the most humiliating things you could possibly say about doing job someone hired you to do
if it doesn’t have an rss feed, it isn’t a podcast
January 17, 2026 at 2:14 AM
if it doesn’t have an rss feed, it isn’t a podcast
Reposted by robbwitmer
Kash Patel Confirms Totally Sweet Pair of Nunchucks Now In Custody
January 16, 2026 at 7:32 PM
Kash Patel Confirms Totally Sweet Pair of Nunchucks Now In Custody
all my wonderful friends who definitely respect me keep giving me their extra prizes, but only because I deserve them for being so great, and not because they feel sorry for me because I’m a loser. which I’m not
giving myself a prize for never being a loser, and more importantly, never feeling like a loser
January 15, 2026 at 11:11 PM
all my wonderful friends who definitely respect me keep giving me their extra prizes, but only because I deserve them for being so great, and not because they feel sorry for me because I’m a loser. which I’m not
if not you will have the worst ice cream headache of your life
RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Allow Cocooned Victims To Fully Liquify Before Consuming www.apartment3gazette.com/p/rfk-jr-urg...
January 15, 2026 at 9:09 PM
if not you will have the worst ice cream headache of your life
John Carpenter’s Knight Rider would fix me
January 14, 2026 at 10:53 PM
John Carpenter’s Knight Rider would fix me
fascist Mike Johnson defends secret fascist police force: “they’re doing fascism the Right Way”
Mike Johnson: "ICE is doing what ICE is designed to do"
Mike Johnson comes out against additional guardrails on ICE as Democrats call for it.
“I think there's a lot of Democrats playing games right now with national security and with law enforcement. And I think it's dangerous. Ice is doing what ice is designed to do by its very name.”
“I think there's a lot of Democrats playing games right now with national security and with law enforcement. And I think it's dangerous. Ice is doing what ice is designed to do by its very name.”
January 14, 2026 at 7:27 PM
fascist Mike Johnson defends secret fascist police force: “they’re doing fascism the Right Way”
get in losers, we finally made drinking booze uncool
New: CBS News seems to be preparing a new segment called "Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil," per sources.
Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing out set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing out set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
January 13, 2026 at 10:46 PM
get in losers, we finally made drinking booze uncool
it's not fair that when Gestapo Guy and all his friends told me we had to make Gestapo Guy president for life to save the country they didn't tell me that he was going to do a Gestapo. you shouldn't be allowed to do that to somebody whose job is Being Stupid
“.. Are we really gonna be the Gestapo, 'Where's your papers?' Is that what we've come to?"
January 13, 2026 at 9:53 PM
it's not fair that when Gestapo Guy and all his friends told me we had to make Gestapo Guy president for life to save the country they didn't tell me that he was going to do a Gestapo. you shouldn't be allowed to do that to somebody whose job is Being Stupid
it used to be that the only benefit of Being Stupid was you didn't have to care about what was going on in the world because you were too busy Being Stupid to understand anything, but now Being Stupid is the only surefire path to runaway success
"We want to make Star Trek real," said Elon Musk.
"We want to make Starfleet Academy real so that it's not always science fiction, but one day the science fiction turns to science fact."
"We want to make Starfleet Academy real so that it's not always science fiction, but one day the science fiction turns to science fact."
January 13, 2026 at 9:06 PM
it used to be that the only benefit of Being Stupid was you didn't have to care about what was going on in the world because you were too busy Being Stupid to understand anything, but now Being Stupid is the only surefire path to runaway success
Nuremberg 2 guest list just dropped
Someone inside DHS leaked the names of 4,500 ICE and CBP officers to a nonprofit that tracks ICE. About 80 percent of those name are active.
www.rawstory.com/ice-agents-d...
www.rawstory.com/ice-agents-d...
Whistleblower drops 'largest ever' ICE leak to unmask agents: 'The last straw'
A Department of Homeland Security whistleblower has released the identities of about 4,500 ICE and Border Patrol employees Tuesday in what has been called potentially the largest agency data breach fo...
www.rawstory.com
January 13, 2026 at 8:10 PM
Nuremberg 2 guest list just dropped
never not impressed when I look at John Hughes’ writing credits from 82-90, maybe the most incredible Heater in Hollywood history. dude wrote 17 movies in 9 years!! any 5 of these would be a hall of fame career by themselves. scoreboard
January 8, 2026 at 9:46 PM
never not impressed when I look at John Hughes’ writing credits from 82-90, maybe the most incredible Heater in Hollywood history. dude wrote 17 movies in 9 years!! any 5 of these would be a hall of fame career by themselves. scoreboard
just because I voted three times for the Permanent Violent Chaos candidate doesn't mean I approve of him sending an army of masked, secret police to kidnap and murder my neighbors, unless of course any of the following six smells are coming from their house:
January 8, 2026 at 8:51 PM
just because I voted three times for the Permanent Violent Chaos candidate doesn't mean I approve of him sending an army of masked, secret police to kidnap and murder my neighbors, unless of course any of the following six smells are coming from their house:
gearing up to watch Hard Ticket To Hawaii later
January 8, 2026 at 5:02 PM
gearing up to watch Hard Ticket To Hawaii later
looks like the lamest fantasy football draft of all time just found out that Priest Holmes has been retired for 18 years and now they’re scrambling for a third-round pick
Several of the photos have Twitter up on a screen in the background but I can’t make out what search term appears
January 3, 2026 at 8:36 PM
looks like the lamest fantasy football draft of all time just found out that Priest Holmes has been retired for 18 years and now they’re scrambling for a third-round pick
my special skill is never being afraid to be the first person to eat food at a party
January 2, 2026 at 10:02 PM
my special skill is never being afraid to be the first person to eat food at a party
I think the best place to keep this prize is a large building, maybe even one named after myself. because a lot of people will want to come and see it, not because I’m a loser or that I feel like a loser
giving myself a prize for never being a loser, and more importantly, never feeling like a loser
December 19, 2025 at 9:10 PM
I think the best place to keep this prize is a large building, maybe even one named after myself. because a lot of people will want to come and see it, not because I’m a loser or that I feel like a loser
my wife is doing everything in her power to talk me out of writing a post about a Hallmark Xmas movie I just made up called Chugging Christmas about a small town buttchuggist (provides buttchugging services) who gets hired to work a family Xmas party and falls in love. she has a point but
December 13, 2025 at 1:27 AM
my wife is doing everything in her power to talk me out of writing a post about a Hallmark Xmas movie I just made up called Chugging Christmas about a small town buttchuggist (provides buttchugging services) who gets hired to work a family Xmas party and falls in love. she has a point but
PRODUCER 1: Brilliant!!
PRODUCER 2: What a concept!! Die Hard in New York City!! We can’t miss!
P1: Except…
P2: I think I know where you’re going with this…
P1: What if we set the climax at a truckstop in the middle of nowhere, just over the Canadian border??
P2: (nodding) I’ll call our guy.
PRODUCER 2: What a concept!! Die Hard in New York City!! We can’t miss!
P1: Except…
P2: I think I know where you’re going with this…
P1: What if we set the climax at a truckstop in the middle of nowhere, just over the Canadian border??
P2: (nodding) I’ll call our guy.
December 10, 2025 at 10:58 PM
PRODUCER 1: Brilliant!!
PRODUCER 2: What a concept!! Die Hard in New York City!! We can’t miss!
P1: Except…
P2: I think I know where you’re going with this…
P1: What if we set the climax at a truckstop in the middle of nowhere, just over the Canadian border??
P2: (nodding) I’ll call our guy.
PRODUCER 2: What a concept!! Die Hard in New York City!! We can’t miss!
P1: Except…
P2: I think I know where you’re going with this…
P1: What if we set the climax at a truckstop in the middle of nowhere, just over the Canadian border??
P2: (nodding) I’ll call our guy.
giving myself a prize for never being a loser, and more importantly, never feeling like a loser
December 5, 2025 at 6:37 PM
giving myself a prize for never being a loser, and more importantly, never feeling like a loser