The Pumpkin Dipshit
@pumpkinpal.bsky.social
1.7K followers 770 following 19K posts
why tho
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pumpkinpal.bsky.social
I know it might sound a little bit unbelievable, but

I used to be the pumpkin dipshit
cupcakesarenice.bsky.social
I have a game. What were you "known" for on Twitter?

I'll go first. I'm the woman who caused Dave Ramsey to mass-block Royals Twitter.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Listen he wasn't real bright and also he might have been joking but he committed to the bit even after years of being teased about it so who am I to question it
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
A splash of color in a monochromatic world

Also growing up my friend thought the lyric was "kiss from a hose on the bricks" which is much better, I think we can all agree
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
The tasty treat that kills you instantly
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
I think bessent is the one lining up the rape of Argentina and trump just likes milei because he's the right kind of kiss-ass
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
"private funding sources" lmao they're getting a headstart already
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Commitment to a rancid bit is not virtue. This account should stop
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Is there some way for the new ballroom to go in an Erfurt latrine direction
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Sean Connery hunt for red October voice "mosht thingsh in thish room don't react well to bigotsh"
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
The *entire point* of the international center right endorsing milei was so he could fuck up Argentina then have to sell off chunks of it to capital. Trump isn't even doing neocolonialism right. If you're the right kind of creepy suck up he'll defy the markets for you. Fuckin weird
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
In his head, there was a compelling reason to start remains with 4 r's. That was a clever move that made his point better, to him.

Damn dude. Fuck.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
God the way the receptionist and the police officer just said "(first name) and (first name)? Again?" To each other.

Environmental storytelling.

Put my earbuds in and let the youtube brainrot take me
Reposted by The Pumpkin Dipshit
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
I think they were still working on saving the cat's life when I got to take my dog home at 3-ish
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
I dunno. There's a perversity to the fact that this family, going through whatever the hell this was, had to share it with me. Not in a "I shouldn't have had to deal with their drama" way, in a "they shouldn't have had to be on display for some asshole whose dog had a tummyache" kind of way.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Some new guy joins. He goes in for a while. He comes back out. He decides he needs to tell me his life story.

He's the cat owner's dad, and boy does he have a lot of complaints he wants me to hear about his child. I guess he cared enough to come out in the middle of the night, so there's that.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
I take my dog to a different room to give this situation some space. She hasn't been able to keep any food or water down all evening and she's shaking like one of those old vibrating football games. She'll be fine, eventually. My wallet won't be, but that's the least important thing right now.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
The emergency vet staff and the cops are on a first name basis with this person and their partner and it's always a domestic violence call. They immediately decide the partner did this to the cat. The cat owner denies that this is the case. No one believes it.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Person comes in scream-crying with a cat in bad enough shape that the whole staff drops what they're doing to save the cat.

They know this person. They know this cat. They call the cops.

Their story about the cat being hit by a vehicle is discarded immediately.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
And basically we all know that but we have to separate into two teams and have an argument,

one saying "they might not have been *identical,* but they were *fellow travelers*

and one saying "they might have been *fellow travelers* but they weren't *identical*"
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
It's a flattening thing. There used to be overt racism for racism's sake for the overt racism enjoyers, "reluctant, pragmatic" racism for prosperity's sake for the "pragmatic" racism enjoyers, and racism denial for the racism non-enjoyers to have semi-plausible deniability.

Now there's just the one
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
In order:

1) Yes there are "Free Enterprise Small Government True Believers" scattered around the GOP youth

2) Some of these people think of themselves as "not racist" and are scandalized by the chats

3) Who fucking cares? "Nazi" and "Useful idiot for Nazis" is a distinction without a difference.
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
Arlan this is the elegant genius of this product. It's in vigorous support of her if you want to get your balls busted by a pantsuit girl boss, AND it's the kind of HILARIOUS burn your estranged nieces and nephews will be triggered by at thanksgiving if you're in denial about wanting to get your bal
pumpkinpal.bsky.social
A fun part of being at the emergency vet all night is: I was a fly on the wall for a sort of domestic violence rashomon involving cats