Author | Lightnews

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Jun 12

You're invited to my party! #DearLeader #Almost80 #BirthdayParade

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 22

The Pentagon just approved $1B in taxpayer dollars to retrofit my "free" jet from Qatar so I can look down on all those people without Medicaid from 30,000 feet! And I’m not the only one: Kristi got $50M for her own private jet from the Coast Guard #FrequentLiars #AmericanOligarchy

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PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 17

We have halted all refugee programs for people of color but have fast-tracked a program for white South Africans (like Elon). Only 1% of white South Africans live in poverty, but I have frozen all aid to the 66% of black South Africans who do, and welcome our white supremacist brothers and sisters!

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 16

I am accepting a $440M luxury jet from Qatar, spending $1B in tax payer money to retrofit it by 2030, and then keeping it for my personal use. Is it a bribe? Sure! But all they’re getting in return is access to the President and a $5.5B Trump International beachside resort. #PaytoPlay #QatItOut

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PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 15

Oh yeah, in addition to cutting Medicaid, our Tech Bro overlords also had us add a provision that no states can make any laws restricting A.I. (or A1, as our WWE Education Secretary calls it) for the next ten years. #PowerToTheStates #AIOverlords

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 14

My Big Beautiful Bill will cut $880B in Medicaid funding, but 8M Americans losing their health coverage to fund $1T in tax cuts for 800 of my billionaire buddies is a small price to pay! #BillionaireBingo #HippocriticalOath

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 11

RFK Jr is following in my footsteps, appointing an antivax social media influencer with no medical license to be Surgeon General of the United States. Do you need to be a doctor to be America’s top doctor? Nope! #TheHippocriticalOath #MAHA

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 10

I am issuing an Executive Order renaming the Persian Gulf to the Gulf of Arabia to reflect the fact that the United States is still at war with the Persian Empire, even though they claim to have fallen over 2,000 years ago. You can’t fool us, Cyrus the Great! #WhichGulfWar

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 9

I am ending ENERGY STAR: studies show that for every $1 in Federal money spent on the program, American consumers save $350 in energy bills. That kind of efficiency needs to stop! Think of the poor utility monopolies: how will their CEOs make payments on their new yachts? #Trumped #OilBarrons

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 8

RFK Jr says all vaccines now must be tested in placebo trials. For a new measles vaccine, kids won’t know whether they are protected. For new cancer drugs, instead of giving the control group the current treatment, we will give them nothing: seems fair! #TheHypocriticalOath #DoNoHarm

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 7

Pam Bondi just announced that in my first 100 days, we have confiscated enough fentanyl to save 258 million lives. That’s right, if those 22 million pills had somehow each been split twelve ways and shared equally among unique individuals, 75% of Americans would be dead! #TrumpMath #WarOnLogic

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 6

The news that some of my administration officials are stockpiling toilet paper due to tariffs has sent some Americans into a panic, but don’t worry, my Secretary of Golden Toilets assures me you can use up to 4x less. #Tariffic #LetThemEatUrinalCake

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PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 4

People are making such a big deal about me saying that I don’t necessarily have to uphold the Constitution as President. At my first inauguration I put my hand on the Bible at the swearing in, but this time I didn’t. Presidential loophole! #HadMyFingersCrossed

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 2

The top 220 buyers of my $TRUMP memecoin will be invited to an exclusive dinner with me at my personal golf club outside DC. I don’t know why Crooked Joe Biden never thought of this: buy my coins, buy access to the President. Ain’t corruption grand? #AmericanOligarcy #PresidentialImmunity

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · May 1

Elon promised $2T in savings: at 100 days he claims $150B, but can only account for half of that. The American people think he should pay the rest out of pocket, but we’ll let him go back to tanking Tesla instead. #AuXterity

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 30

Polls say I have the lowest 100-day presidential approval rating in 80 years. I was ranked as the 3rd worst president of all time but you reelected me anyway, so a minus 13 net approval doesn’t concern me: if I can get it to minus 25 you just might elect me a third time! #TheBestAtBeingTheWorst

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 26

Elon is writing his own Greek Tragedy: he has tasked DOGE with cutting the Loan Programs Office, which loaned Tesla HALF A BILLION DOLLARS in 2010 to build their first factory, and is more efficient and more profitable than any commercial bank. No loans means R.I.P. to US manufacturing! #AuXterity

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 25

"A**hole" has kind of always been my brand. America wanted an a**hole on their side as President, but a narcissistic a**hole is never on anyone’s side but his own. I will continue to run the economy into the ground for as long as it continues to increase my own wealth and power! #Trumponomics

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 23

The key to an enjoyable presidency is “Executive Time”: making no appointments or meetings in the morning and spending 60% of working hours posting on social media and watching Fox News. #GeriatricPresidency

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 22

DOGE has done a great job: they have cut over 60,000 hard-working Federal employees and countless government services. Thanks to your sacrifices, we can fund my weekly golf trips and tax cuts for billionaires: government spending is higher than ever! #AuXterity #AmericanOligarchy

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 21

According to my recent physical exam your Dear Leader is 6’3” (still growing at almost 80 years old) and 225lbs, exactly the same size as Chris Hemsworth. I’m the one on the left if you can’t tell: we’re practically twins! #MaybeFatThor

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 20

Happy Easter: Cash is Risen! Join us tomorrow for the annual White House Easter Egg Roll/Hunt, sponsored by the Billionaires Club at Amazon, YouTube, and Meta. We will be using small eggs this year, though, because the price of eggs is crazy: someone should really do something about that! #$isRisen

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 19

We will not rest until we remove all people of color and all women from the Smithsonian! Instead, we will be spending your tax dollars on replacing all those statues of Confederate generals erected by the Daughters of Confederacy in the 1910s. #DEquality #WhiteSupremacyBingo #TheSouthWillRiseAgain

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 18

We have spent over $350M of your tax dollars on political theater at the border since January: $40M on 170 immigrants, so over $235k per person. We replaced National Guard (who can detain migrants) with active military (who cannot), but it sure makes for good headlines on Fox! #foxpropaganda.com

PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States @ptotus.bsky.social · Apr 17

Insider trading is the best perk of the new presidency. After selling off my billions in stock I sent the markets tumbling with tariffs, then I texted all my buddies to buy right before I reversed them, handing over your 401ks and college savings to billionaires! #BillionaireBingo #PresImmunity