Pouchmouse
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Pouchmouse
@pouchmouse.com
3.3K followers 500 following 1.1K posts
Indie gamedev and Moby Dick stan account. Spyro the Dragon, Ratchet and Clank, and more recently Edmus - the world’s largest one-finger MMO. #gamedev #indie
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This is the weed you put your phone in after you drop it in the toilet.
William Tecumseh Sherman burned down Atlanta when they tried to sell him this weed
DOGE weed is so dry it sucks the THC out of your blood and you’re sober again. You don’t smoke the DOGE weed; it smokes you.
DOGE weed’s so old, Wukong smoked it in Journey To The Dispensary.
DOGE kids in a blunt rotation with Gilgamesh and Humbaba

bsky.app/profile/pouc...
One look at the DOGE kids was enough to know they smoke brick, but I’m blown away by just HOW BAD their weed is. They’re in USAID smoking literal owl pellets. They’re shaking mouse bones out of the bowl after smoking that.
A photo shared with me earlier of uh, DOGE's legacy at USIP
I have no idea why everyone is reposting this four months later, but you know what? Life’s hard; let’s just have some fun riffing on their bad weed some more. Here goes:
Brings all the Forms to the yard
DOGE kids after one hit of Musk’s Signature Extreme Millets
Unintentional good advice right there
Me, playing video games with my weird discord transsexuals: Check it out guys, I’m aware of the Grungler
Videogames over here making you feel betrayal like no other story telling medium could.
My Finnish teacher was probably born in 2004, and when I made a leek spin reference he didn't know what I was talking about. So I got to tell him all about Loituma in what has to be one of the most ass backwards cultural exchanges of all time
I don’t know but it kinda looks like the sidewalk is right there. I’d probably go to the sidewalk.
I went into the list thinking “okay, there’s 100 things. There has to be something that I’d replace with Starcraft”, but then… no.
I blame video games for consistently over selling the player on how easy it is to grow food, how much land you’d need, and how many gold pieces you’d make from selling tomatoes.

#gamedev
On Threads, the usual suspects are telling ppl about to lose SNAP benefits to just start a garden. As a gardener, I had to laugh. You need at LEAST an acre of land to feed a family of 4. Start-up costs are enormous. But yes, subsistence farming on the balcony of your rental apartment is the answer
Stage directions for new parents:

[Singing]
Little Baby in the dark house
You have seen the sun rise
Why are you crying?
Why are you screaming?

[Sudden scared]
You have disturbed the house god!

[Deep voice]
Who has disturbed me?

[Scared voice]
It is the baby who has disturbed you!

…etc…
I’m pretty sure this is meant to be half song and half skit that you act out with different voices - like Little Bunny Foo Foo
Oh god, you made me laugh out loud at work and everybody wanted to see what I was reading and I could NOT show my coworkers anything that says “tunnel buddies with hanania” so now I’m back on the job market. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My new workout mix is just the sounds of huffing out of shape ICE agents receding into the distance.
I turned the treadmill up to 12 because it’s important to just completely dunk on their asses right out of the gate. The tiktok video of me out distancing them needs to be so humiliating they deport themselves to their basement and never leave.
What’s the backstory to “without your wife”?
Magnets work because of relativity, which is a kind of space bending magic, so Violent J is in fact completely correct
Yeah, days after I joined everyone was screaming JACK OFF THE BOARD and I had no idea what was happening but it was delightful
When asked why he hadn’t had time to read the book, Takahashi replied “I’m kinda caught up in something big right now”