Unfortunately, the most dangerous place is in a custody dispute. Litigants, lawyers and even judges have been shot. The reality is that if a person is going to do this, they won't be dissuaded by an order of protection.
I'm a Family Law attorney, and have found that the quality of CPS varies wildly county by county. But, same playbook-get the parents to sign over custody. DON'T. To get removal they must go to a Family Court judge and prove their case. No money? Court can appoint a lawyer. Talk to a lawyer.
I've been a lawyer for 40 years. I've seen everything from gunshots to screaming matches. Cops are not the best judges of what happened. Sometimes it's the man, sometimes,yes, the woman. Sometimes it's mutual. We need to have a better system than just sending police to a domestic situation.
Under New York Law, domestic violence committed in front of children is a form a child abuse. Violence not committed in front of the children can be considered in custody cases, but does not automatically prevent visitation or even custody.
Allegations of drug addiction and alcoholism are very common in custody battles. That's why judges are very careful. Urinalysis tests are common, and sometimes hair follicle tests are ordered. Over the past 40 years as a lawyer, I've become well-versed in addiction.
I've never had this situation in my custody cases. But, in NY there is a rebuttal presumption against visitation. A bill was introduced to make it automatic, but it died in committee. There are almost no reported cases on this. I don't think any judge I know would allow it.
After 40 years of being a lawyer, this doesn't surprise me. Adultery comes from a basic immaturity and self-centeredness. The secret photos come from a much darker place. I once had a case at West Point where a cadet placed a camera in the girls' locker room. Very creepy. Run, don't walk away.
Good for you. I tell clients that it is the start of your next phase, not the end. Moving forward and being happy is winning. youtube.com/shorts/XOz26...
@scalzi.com My very first reaction is to agree with you. But, I'm a divorce lawyer and I've seen a lot of mentally abused people who get normalized to what is horrific. I hear of abuse spanning decades and ask: Why didn't you leave? Most honestly can't explain it.
In feudal Japan women would have to stay at a monastery for a couple of years. 19th-century Americans might need an act of the legislature. Jackson's "wife" fled a brutal husband to Spanish Mexico. Jackson "married" her while she was still "married." Mistakes shouldn't haunt you forever.
Divorce clients get nervous about appearing in court. The preliminary conference is the first time we see the judge. It is really just a meet and greet with the judge. We give the judge a thumb nail sketch on the case and then sees what can be done to settle it. youtube.com/shorts/ytpYg...
I tell my clients that winning is after the divorce is over, realizing that you haven't thought of your ex in months. I've had clients give up money and property to get it over. Mental peace is priceless. This is particularly true when your ex is a narcissist. nydivorcefacts.com/divorcing-a-...
It is about control. The abuser uses physical, emotional and mental intimidation and even control of finances. They seek to convince the abused how powerless they are and how the abuser knows all and controls all the levers of government. My blog on proving DV nydivorcefacts.com/domestic-vio...
Remember that 911 is your friend if you think you are in immediate danger. But DV goes beyond physical violence. It includes emotional and mental abuse. It is about control, and includes financial as well. Here's the 10 red flags to watch for: nydivorcefacts.com/red-flags-in...
