Fia Akseliane Ekeland
@ostogvann.bsky.social
A 🇨🇦/🇳🇴 punk loving failed musician. I like skateboarding, Tank Girl, Warhammer 40k, and being a dad. 150% gay and married to another hot lesbian. Masters in Archival Studies. I'll try to be normal. I ❤️ Jahna/Rem ❤️
She/her
She/her
Man, since my wife stopped breastfeeding and started working out, she has been feral every morning and night. I like sex but my holes need a break! I'm feeling like a muppet with how far her hands go.
December 12, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Man, since my wife stopped breastfeeding and started working out, she has been feral every morning and night. I like sex but my holes need a break! I'm feeling like a muppet with how far her hands go.
Christmas with 3 kids is expensive. Man, I'm working like 20 hours a day trying to make the holidays happen and keep us housed. My ass is tired, figuratively and literally.
December 11, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Christmas with 3 kids is expensive. Man, I'm working like 20 hours a day trying to make the holidays happen and keep us housed. My ass is tired, figuratively and literally.
Hormones are acting up again. Sounds like I'm constantly stirring macaroni wherever I walk.
December 10, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Hormones are acting up again. Sounds like I'm constantly stirring macaroni wherever I walk.
Grandparents took the kids for the weekend, so we slept in on a Saturday. You know how fucking awesome that is? To stay asleep after 9??? We're always up at 6 until close to midnight. Better than sex tbh.
December 7, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Grandparents took the kids for the weekend, so we slept in on a Saturday. You know how fucking awesome that is? To stay asleep after 9??? We're always up at 6 until close to midnight. Better than sex tbh.
A dating app, but 23andme.
December 5, 2025 at 4:33 PM
A dating app, but 23andme.
When I snorted coke, my superpowers were super speed and pain immunity with the ability to party all night.
December 1, 2025 at 11:12 PM
When I snorted coke, my superpowers were super speed and pain immunity with the ability to party all night.
Checking the mail like my homie, Budd Dwyer
December 1, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Checking the mail like my homie, Budd Dwyer
I think one of our neighbors doesn't like me because the dude was shooting daggers. I just got home and brought in groceries . What the hell I do?
November 27, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I think one of our neighbors doesn't like me because the dude was shooting daggers. I just got home and brought in groceries . What the hell I do?
Our daughter runs into our room every morning at 530 full speed. I can't wait until she's 16, then run full speed to her room every morning at 530. She's an absolute little shit, but I love her too much. I just wanna sleep in tbh.
November 27, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Our daughter runs into our room every morning at 530 full speed. I can't wait until she's 16, then run full speed to her room every morning at 530. She's an absolute little shit, but I love her too much. I just wanna sleep in tbh.
No word play this morning about posting butts. It's just a good picture to share. Lesbians keep winning. 🤌
November 27, 2025 at 4:47 AM
No word play this morning about posting butts. It's just a good picture to share. Lesbians keep winning. 🤌
I've been dressing more feminine lately, and kinda enjoying it? Skirt, leggings, etc. Stuff is comfortable. No wonder why not super butch women who dressed like a boy since 13 eat this shit up.
November 26, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I've been dressing more feminine lately, and kinda enjoying it? Skirt, leggings, etc. Stuff is comfortable. No wonder why not super butch women who dressed like a boy since 13 eat this shit up.
My wife and I finally mastered the art of mime sex. We're fully doing it, but zero noise! Going from once a month to twice!
November 26, 2025 at 6:25 AM
My wife and I finally mastered the art of mime sex. We're fully doing it, but zero noise! Going from once a month to twice!
Dude, I do be bored! It's kinda wild how much social media lost interest. 2 years ago was my height in usage. Now I just say weird shit and post whatever, then fuckoff for a week.
November 26, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Dude, I do be bored! It's kinda wild how much social media lost interest. 2 years ago was my height in usage. Now I just say weird shit and post whatever, then fuckoff for a week.
No one could guess what bouncy objects hide behind the label! A lesbian never shares the secret.
November 26, 2025 at 5:58 AM
No one could guess what bouncy objects hide behind the label! A lesbian never shares the secret.
What's up? More like, what's down, am I right?
November 25, 2025 at 7:31 AM
What's up? More like, what's down, am I right?
I sometimes consider doing sex work again full time because making $50 just from putting stuff in my butt for 2 minutes is easier than 12 hour restorations. Who needs dignity when you got $$$?
November 25, 2025 at 7:06 AM
I sometimes consider doing sex work again full time because making $50 just from putting stuff in my butt for 2 minutes is easier than 12 hour restorations. Who needs dignity when you got $$$?
My toddler stomped me right in the vag. I forgot I can't sleep in and need to be up with everyone lest I get shanked by a giggling little sadist while sleeping in bed. Puffy ass looking lips... why!
November 23, 2025 at 5:43 AM
My toddler stomped me right in the vag. I forgot I can't sleep in and need to be up with everyone lest I get shanked by a giggling little sadist while sleeping in bed. Puffy ass looking lips... why!
I don't want to be millionaire rich. I just want to be "owns a gargoyle" type of rich.
November 22, 2025 at 1:09 AM
I don't want to be millionaire rich. I just want to be "owns a gargoyle" type of rich.
Blart simpon say iconic catchphrase hawk tuah man
November 20, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Blart simpon say iconic catchphrase hawk tuah man
Dude, I dress like a fucking nerd for work. Every day, it's been like a sweater and slacks. Dress codes suck something else. Gosh, dang, mandatory green pants or some shit...
November 17, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Dude, I dress like a fucking nerd for work. Every day, it's been like a sweater and slacks. Dress codes suck something else. Gosh, dang, mandatory green pants or some shit...
The term "Big Beautiful Bill" has a whole new meaning today... I did not need to read that.
November 14, 2025 at 3:36 PM
The term "Big Beautiful Bill" has a whole new meaning today... I did not need to read that.
Dude, getting extra cash this year for the holiday blackhole was kinda easy this time. Did more work for my neighbors, doing overtime and weaponizing my ass again. Men will pay wild prices for butts. There is nothing better than dirty money.
November 13, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Dude, getting extra cash this year for the holiday blackhole was kinda easy this time. Did more work for my neighbors, doing overtime and weaponizing my ass again. Men will pay wild prices for butts. There is nothing better than dirty money.
Why dis shark laughing? Why dis bitch look old, yet hot?
November 13, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Why dis shark laughing? Why dis bitch look old, yet hot?
I've had to read green eggs and ham every night this past week for our daughter. Last week, it was fox in socks. I like twisting my tongue, but not like this!
November 13, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I've had to read green eggs and ham every night this past week for our daughter. Last week, it was fox in socks. I like twisting my tongue, but not like this!
“Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time, we created a lot of value for the shareholders”
November 7, 2025 at 1:43 PM
“Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time, we created a lot of value for the shareholders”