Author | Lightnews

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Jul 13

me: oh no someone is missing their puppy!! i should go try to see if anyone is out looking for him
me: wow he's a quick little bastard that must be such a headache for them whenever he gets out like this
me:
me: that was a fucking coyote

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Reposted by Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname

Jeannette @jeannettearroyo.bsky.social · Jul 9

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Reposted by Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname

Animal Flix @animalflix.bsky.social · Jul 4

Look at that smile, bro has no enemies #bluesky 😅

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

anyway, how funny that one of my last tweets was about watching saw for the first time in late 2022. i just rewatched it last week! i guess some things have a way of coming back around. may this be a good omen of excellent fucking movies to come!

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

correction! twitter locked me out after the post BEFORE, from sept 2023. the last one i posted from my switch, which had access to twitter when my phone did not.

was i, perhaps, locked out as a result of changing my display name to "Sage 'This Platform Sucks' Lastname"? who can say

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

hello friends and foes! this post marks my bluesky debut!

all posts below this were imported from the platform formerly known as twitter. sometime after that last tweet in june 2024 twitter locked me out--the only act of kindness it has ever done.

and now i'm here! may this platform be less bad <3

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

have my best salmon run tips. happy #bigbigrun ! for the love of god please lure #Splatoon3

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

i found a traveler's shield at the dealer's hall at NDK. is it a deep cut if the game is new? i mean it's not advertised as a traveler's shield, i just recognized it from my obsessive compendium pic retakes using the dream home display room... #ndk2023sh

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

time for a 3am psa bc folks keep rushing the shore and dying and im gonna lose it #Splatoon3 #NintendoSwitch

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

this is topical now! #Splatoon3

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

Wordle 555 X/6*

⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜
🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
this game sucks

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

had a gas leak paranoia attack, on xmas, at 2am, while sick #justsagethings
end result, im sleeping in mom's room. i took mako with me and locked the cats out of my room
mom's mattress topper is sliding off
had to push it so sleeping would feel less like an indiana jones movie

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

the real bummer is being potentially contagious. i feel awful and i kind of just want to cuddle about it but nope. didnt spend xmas eve hanging out with my dad. spent it playing slime rancher
i mean, my ranch is a roaring success tho

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

if he has the omniscience he KNOWS i have problems with hyperfocus and he KNOWS it gets worse when im physically and/or mentally strained, and im SICK!!!
maybe santa could tell me if it's covid

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

one of the jokes of all time is one person starting half of a duet and the other person acting embarrassed or rolling their eyes like 'im not going to SING A DUET with you' right up until their cue and then launching into their part w the passion and intensity of a broadway star

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

that's the boss battle i didnt beat in the original game!! we are in UNCHARTED TERRITORY babes!!!! gonna learn about the time shit and whoever demise is and everything

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

twitter at it again with the free speech absolutism
when making your twitter bio there is literally a field labeled 'website'. what the hell is that supposed to be used for if not linking to other sites where that person can be found

x.com/SarahMasonArt/…

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

i like how some zelda games make the hookshot item something different just to mix things up. i got a WHIP
so 'whip it' has been in my head constantly. and that's the way i like it.
....so that song also

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

"i'm diurnal. YOU'RE diurnal. the sun is gone! why did you REPLACE IT"
tycho the turtle, also diurnal, was VERY upset with me today for the same reason. i finally got up and closed the kitchen door most of the way to block off the light and the tantrum ceased instantly

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

ftr i try not to inaccurately anthropomorphize animals. even in jest/fondness i feel it's a bad habit that inevitably feeds into treating animals inappropriately
that being said, my experiences helping prism navigate his cone have all but convinced me cats can feel embarassment

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

they really didn't hit the american accents tho. sorry lads. your performances were great but your accents were not
sad because usually if anyone can do it, it's australians!
i honestly don't know why we make actors fake accents for original work. like. they can just be english

Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

like, i came for the fucked up psych horror 4D chess intensely convoluted absolute bugfuck bananas content, and i got it, in spades--but i wasn't ready to get EMOTIONS about it
the acting is SO fucking good. including the kid who knocked it out of the park for being a child actor

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

i just watched saw--tragedy i hadn't seen it before since life-or-death games are the blood that runs through my veins
what's that one quote again?
this movie is incredibly famous, acclaimed, and regarded very highly--and, improbably, despite this, it is also extremely good

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

me, exiting an autistic train of thought wormhole, eyes wide: oh my god is the song gee because the english initials of the band are GG

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Sage "Social Media Doomsday Prepper" Lastname @orchidbreezefc.bsky.social · Mar 26

if you speak to him rudely during the day he says 'i knew you weren't a bug lover like me...'
like i knew it... only bug haters are rude
he's one of groose's lackeys but the thing about that is he's my best friend, so jot that down