Moe Ottis
@moeottis.bsky.social
You cannot stop the Moe-mentum 🤘
Moe Clone 667-D has suffered a caffeine overdose after drinking 537 cups of $15 coffee made by a bisexual in under an hour
Please pray for him and consider donating your bone marrow
Please pray for him and consider donating your bone marrow
December 11, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Moe Clone 667-D has suffered a caffeine overdose after drinking 537 cups of $15 coffee made by a bisexual in under an hour
Please pray for him and consider donating your bone marrow
Please pray for him and consider donating your bone marrow
If a GBU-43/B MOAB bomb struck my house and killed me and my clones and my niece and my hog I wouldn’t even care
I have a dead man’s switch that will immediately spawn a copy of my house and everyone and everything in it in the middle of Central Asia as soon as it is destroyed
I have a dead man’s switch that will immediately spawn a copy of my house and everyone and everything in it in the middle of Central Asia as soon as it is destroyed
December 11, 2025 at 12:57 AM
If a GBU-43/B MOAB bomb struck my house and killed me and my clones and my niece and my hog I wouldn’t even care
I have a dead man’s switch that will immediately spawn a copy of my house and everyone and everything in it in the middle of Central Asia as soon as it is destroyed
I have a dead man’s switch that will immediately spawn a copy of my house and everyone and everything in it in the middle of Central Asia as soon as it is destroyed
Setting up a child application form. Will post later.
If you want to be my child, please print it, fill it out, and shove it in a puddle of mud. The mole people will eventually deliver it to my doorstep.
If you want to be my child, please print it, fill it out, and shove it in a puddle of mud. The mole people will eventually deliver it to my doorstep.
December 9, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Setting up a child application form. Will post later.
If you want to be my child, please print it, fill it out, and shove it in a puddle of mud. The mole people will eventually deliver it to my doorstep.
If you want to be my child, please print it, fill it out, and shove it in a puddle of mud. The mole people will eventually deliver it to my doorstep.
Just put my cock and balls between two extremely powerful neodymium magnets and let them smash together
This is the kind of shit I need to do to wake myself up when coffee doesn’t do the trick
This is the kind of shit I need to do to wake myself up when coffee doesn’t do the trick
December 9, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Just put my cock and balls between two extremely powerful neodymium magnets and let them smash together
This is the kind of shit I need to do to wake myself up when coffee doesn’t do the trick
This is the kind of shit I need to do to wake myself up when coffee doesn’t do the trick
The Canadian government has rejected my application for a Grinch hunting license again.
Their excuse was some bullshit about my name being on INTERPOLs most wanted list
Guess I’ll have to go rogue, I won’t let those green fuckers steal even a single snow globe
Their excuse was some bullshit about my name being on INTERPOLs most wanted list
Guess I’ll have to go rogue, I won’t let those green fuckers steal even a single snow globe
December 8, 2025 at 5:39 PM
The Canadian government has rejected my application for a Grinch hunting license again.
Their excuse was some bullshit about my name being on INTERPOLs most wanted list
Guess I’ll have to go rogue, I won’t let those green fuckers steal even a single snow globe
Their excuse was some bullshit about my name being on INTERPOLs most wanted list
Guess I’ll have to go rogue, I won’t let those green fuckers steal even a single snow globe
I’m the last remaining moderator of r/nosebleeds and I’ve been fighting with the reddit administrators to keep it open like it’s the fucking battle of Iwo Jima
December 7, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I’m the last remaining moderator of r/nosebleeds and I’ve been fighting with the reddit administrators to keep it open like it’s the fucking battle of Iwo Jima
Just went to space and pissed into the sun because I’m sick of the heat!
December 6, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Just went to space and pissed into the sun because I’m sick of the heat!
In 8,611 days, my 9/11 museum membership card will expire.
I only plan on living another 8,611 days.
I only plan on living another 8,611 days.
December 5, 2025 at 7:48 AM
In 8,611 days, my 9/11 museum membership card will expire.
I only plan on living another 8,611 days.
I only plan on living another 8,611 days.
I pass kidney stones for fun and for profit.
I once ground one up into a fine powder and fed it to my cancer ridden 40 year old hog
That was 20 years ago, he’s still with me today
I once ground one up into a fine powder and fed it to my cancer ridden 40 year old hog
That was 20 years ago, he’s still with me today
December 3, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I pass kidney stones for fun and for profit.
I once ground one up into a fine powder and fed it to my cancer ridden 40 year old hog
That was 20 years ago, he’s still with me today
I once ground one up into a fine powder and fed it to my cancer ridden 40 year old hog
That was 20 years ago, he’s still with me today
Sometimes the dirt speaks a little Chinese to me
December 3, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Sometimes the dirt speaks a little Chinese to me
I have created the “Moe Cop” - similar to a Mall Cop but much better. My Moe Cops ride around and police other Moe clones. Sadly, I had to put an end to this little experiment due to increasing amount of racist remarks from the cops. I think I added too much LAPD blood.
December 3, 2025 at 3:03 AM
I have created the “Moe Cop” - similar to a Mall Cop but much better. My Moe Cops ride around and police other Moe clones. Sadly, I had to put an end to this little experiment due to increasing amount of racist remarks from the cops. I think I added too much LAPD blood.
Was in the park today doing sickass bmx tricks on my sickass bmx bike when I clipped a (not so sickass) toddler in the head at 22mph.
@groktr.bsky.social what kind of appetizers are served best at a child’s funeral?
@groktr.bsky.social what kind of appetizers are served best at a child’s funeral?
December 3, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Was in the park today doing sickass bmx tricks on my sickass bmx bike when I clipped a (not so sickass) toddler in the head at 22mph.
@groktr.bsky.social what kind of appetizers are served best at a child’s funeral?
@groktr.bsky.social what kind of appetizers are served best at a child’s funeral?
Got caught jelqing in my jorts at the Burbank Central Library. It might be over for me
December 2, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Got caught jelqing in my jorts at the Burbank Central Library. It might be over for me
For this year’s World AIDS day I carried out my annual tradition of beheading five Belgians, the people who created AIDS, in my backyard with a sharpened elephant tusk
Let justice be done though the heavens fall
Let justice be done though the heavens fall
December 2, 2025 at 2:09 AM
For this year’s World AIDS day I carried out my annual tradition of beheading five Belgians, the people who created AIDS, in my backyard with a sharpened elephant tusk
Let justice be done though the heavens fall
Let justice be done though the heavens fall
Invented a new shade of green yesterday.
I awoke this morning to find the mutilated corpse of my pitbull-boar hybrid at my front door. The word “DON’T” was written across his body in glowing green paint.
My rage is boundless and I will not stop until every Greenman is red
I awoke this morning to find the mutilated corpse of my pitbull-boar hybrid at my front door. The word “DON’T” was written across his body in glowing green paint.
My rage is boundless and I will not stop until every Greenman is red
December 1, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Invented a new shade of green yesterday.
I awoke this morning to find the mutilated corpse of my pitbull-boar hybrid at my front door. The word “DON’T” was written across his body in glowing green paint.
My rage is boundless and I will not stop until every Greenman is red
I awoke this morning to find the mutilated corpse of my pitbull-boar hybrid at my front door. The word “DON’T” was written across his body in glowing green paint.
My rage is boundless and I will not stop until every Greenman is red
I left my back gate open and my niece got out and got torn apart by a wolves.
Moe Clone 6 drew the short stick and will be on niece reconstruction duty.
Hopefully he doesn’t give her a Portuguese nose like last time
Moe Clone 6 drew the short stick and will be on niece reconstruction duty.
Hopefully he doesn’t give her a Portuguese nose like last time
November 29, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I left my back gate open and my niece got out and got torn apart by a wolves.
Moe Clone 6 drew the short stick and will be on niece reconstruction duty.
Hopefully he doesn’t give her a Portuguese nose like last time
Moe Clone 6 drew the short stick and will be on niece reconstruction duty.
Hopefully he doesn’t give her a Portuguese nose like last time
Just uploaded a LiDAR scan of my boy-uterus to MoeOttis.com
Please let me know if you need a higher detail model. Day or night, I’ll fucking be there for you.
Please let me know if you need a higher detail model. Day or night, I’ll fucking be there for you.
November 28, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Just uploaded a LiDAR scan of my boy-uterus to MoeOttis.com
Please let me know if you need a higher detail model. Day or night, I’ll fucking be there for you.
Please let me know if you need a higher detail model. Day or night, I’ll fucking be there for you.
All my surviving uncles are coming over to my place for Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t wait to feed them my new turkey-based food organism that I call the Hyper Turkey, containing real Turk DNA
November 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
All my surviving uncles are coming over to my place for Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t wait to feed them my new turkey-based food organism that I call the Hyper Turkey, containing real Turk DNA
All that is under Heaven belongs to Moe
November 27, 2025 at 3:58 AM
All that is under Heaven belongs to Moe
I made a discord server for my dad’s ghost and all of his ghost friends.
Sometimes I see them online playing Roblox and doxxing 6 year olds.
I miss him every day.
Sometimes I see them online playing Roblox and doxxing 6 year olds.
I miss him every day.
November 26, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I made a discord server for my dad’s ghost and all of his ghost friends.
Sometimes I see them online playing Roblox and doxxing 6 year olds.
I miss him every day.
Sometimes I see them online playing Roblox and doxxing 6 year olds.
I miss him every day.
Trying to mend things with my estranged crab wife by gifting her a set of crab armor made of gold and titanium
I dream of riding her into battle against the Lobster King’s armies once more
I dream of riding her into battle against the Lobster King’s armies once more
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Trying to mend things with my estranged crab wife by gifting her a set of crab armor made of gold and titanium
I dream of riding her into battle against the Lobster King’s armies once more
I dream of riding her into battle against the Lobster King’s armies once more
If I drink enough McDonalds ketchup I can light up the night with just my smile. And I mean that in every sense of the word
November 24, 2025 at 8:22 PM
If I drink enough McDonalds ketchup I can light up the night with just my smile. And I mean that in every sense of the word
I own the second most successful brothel in Manila
November 21, 2025 at 7:31 AM
I own the second most successful brothel in Manila