Hermione, Texas Granger
@misterfungi.bsky.social
Pinned
the Wikipedia entry for axolotls reads like a Cake song
PCU is a Christmas movie
December 24, 2025 at 2:30 AM
PCU is a Christmas movie
oops 3. forgot about “santa claus got stuck (in my chimney)”
there’s only like 2 christmas songs about being horny for santa claus but that’s still a lot!
December 23, 2025 at 11:30 PM
oops 3. forgot about “santa claus got stuck (in my chimney)”
is this good?
December 23, 2025 at 1:58 PM
is this good?
* DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: TO BE CLEAR CLAIMS THAT I POOPED MY PANTS IN SUNDAY SCHOOL AND HAD TO THROW AWAY MY UNDERWEAR IN THE CHURCH BATHROOM ARE UNFOUNDED AND FALSE
* DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: SOME DOCUMENTS RELEASED CONTAIN UNTRUE AND SENSATIONALIST CLAIMS MADE AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP THAT WERE SUBMITTED TO THE FBI RIGHT BEFORE 2020 ELECTION
* DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: TO BE CLEAR CLAIMS AGAINST TRUMP ARE UNFOUNDED AND FALSE
@reuters.com
* DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: TO BE CLEAR CLAIMS AGAINST TRUMP ARE UNFOUNDED AND FALSE
@reuters.com
December 23, 2025 at 1:06 PM
* DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: TO BE CLEAR CLAIMS THAT I POOPED MY PANTS IN SUNDAY SCHOOL AND HAD TO THROW AWAY MY UNDERWEAR IN THE CHURCH BATHROOM ARE UNFOUNDED AND FALSE
Reposted by Hermione, Texas Granger
wait, all the music i listened to in high school was about heroin?
February 22, 2025 at 3:53 AM
wait, all the music i listened to in high school was about heroin?
just watched the 60 minutes bit and to be fair to bari it *does* make her friends look really bad
December 23, 2025 at 3:21 AM
just watched the 60 minutes bit and to be fair to bari it *does* make her friends look really bad
bringing a pillow to the restaurant so i can take a little nap after dinner
December 21, 2025 at 10:20 PM
bringing a pillow to the restaurant so i can take a little nap after dinner
lol for a second i thought this said “white sox”
December 21, 2025 at 3:20 PM
lol for a second i thought this said “white sox”
we still doing these?
December 20, 2025 at 12:44 PM
we still doing these?
a german word for when you’re trying to decide which rums to use in the rum cake and you end up drinking more than the recipe calls for
December 20, 2025 at 1:50 AM
a german word for when you’re trying to decide which rums to use in the rum cake and you end up drinking more than the recipe calls for
oh no I just realized christmas is next week and i haven’t listened to any of these this year
December 20, 2025 at 1:41 AM
oh no I just realized christmas is next week and i haven’t listened to any of these this year
a high end bathroom spray called Chanel No. 2
December 20, 2025 at 12:35 AM
a high end bathroom spray called Chanel No. 2
kids, you’ve heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for doug - dad’s old college buddy who’s gonna be crashing on the sofa for a little while until he gets back on his feet
December 19, 2025 at 12:42 PM
kids, you’ve heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for doug - dad’s old college buddy who’s gonna be crashing on the sofa for a little while until he gets back on his feet
back in my day you could get a penis for $39.95 from the sears catalog *and* the balls were included
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 5:23 PM
back in my day you could get a penis for $39.95 from the sears catalog *and* the balls were included
needed something a little less crazy on my tv
December 18, 2025 at 3:42 AM
needed something a little less crazy on my tv
Reposted by Hermione, Texas Granger
Pour one out for Dan Bongino
December 17, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Pour one out for Dan Bongino
seems not great that we let a conspiracy theory podcaster look at all our nation’s secrets for 6 months then quit and go back to podcasting
December 17, 2025 at 10:35 PM
seems not great that we let a conspiracy theory podcaster look at all our nation’s secrets for 6 months then quit and go back to podcasting
no urn for me. when i die put my ashes in one of these
December 17, 2025 at 7:42 PM
no urn for me. when i die put my ashes in one of these
there’s only like 2 christmas songs about being horny for santa claus but that’s still a lot!
December 15, 2025 at 5:57 PM
there’s only like 2 christmas songs about being horny for santa claus but that’s still a lot!
Reposted by Hermione, Texas Granger
this is still the funniest 3 minutes of television ever made
All in the Family - A Sock and a Sock
YouTube video by 704 Hauser Street
m.youtube.com
August 8, 2025 at 12:22 PM
this is still the funniest 3 minutes of television ever made
my daughter’s gonna be so stoked on christmas morning. she said all she wants this year is an american girl. honestly i didn’t even realize 8 year olds were into tom petty
December 14, 2025 at 6:32 PM
my daughter’s gonna be so stoked on christmas morning. she said all she wants this year is an american girl. honestly i didn’t even realize 8 year olds were into tom petty
me: do you think i need to wash my new socks before i wear them?
wife: nah, they’re probably fine
8 hours later
me: *falls down stairs*
wife: nah, they’re probably fine
8 hours later
me: *falls down stairs*
December 14, 2025 at 3:38 AM
me: do you think i need to wash my new socks before i wear them?
wife: nah, they’re probably fine
8 hours later
me: *falls down stairs*
wife: nah, they’re probably fine
8 hours later
me: *falls down stairs*
ah yes, boston. notoriously racist against… whites
The Department of Housing and Urban Development said Thursday that it was opening an investigation into housing policies in Boston, scrutinizing whether the city discriminated against white people.
HUD Accuses Boston of Racial Discrimination in Housing Policies
The Department of Housing and Urban Development is investigating whether the city’s focus on affordable housing for people of color violated federal law.
nyti.ms
December 12, 2025 at 12:18 PM
ah yes, boston. notoriously racist against… whites