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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃

@midnightplat.bsky.social

590 followers 390 following 12K posts

Getting my M.Div in Food Science, thesis on the "Transubstantiation of Mountain Dew and Higher Orders of Caffeine Chain of Being." Will cop to knowing cop stuff. Better to be remembered as a sharp lover of sandwiches than a slick merchant of hate.

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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · Aug 22

Make it a Quote @miq.moe · Aug 22

Generated by Make it a Quote
User: midnightplat.bsky.social
Content: Byron Donalds' "I gave my life to Christ in a Cracker Barrel parking lot" is the decades in the making retort to Shock G's "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom" no one saw coming.

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 6h

Pips #59 Hard 🔴
5:20

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 7h

Pips #59 Medium 🟡
4:31

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 7h

Pips #59 Easy 🟢
0:29

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 7h

Connections
Puzzle #857
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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 7h

Wordle 1,579 5/6*

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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 8h

Midnightplat drank Mountain Dew well after sunset the right way.

by Ezra Klein

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 12h

Pips #58 Hard 🔴
7:11

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 12h

Pips #58 Medium 🟡
3:08

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 12h

Pips #58 Easy 🟢
0:30

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 12h

Connections
Puzzle #856
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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 13h

Wordle 1,578 4/6*

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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 13h

Upcoming YouTube vid: One Guy on X vs Friends Everywhere

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 14h

All this crime news is spamming out of existence the one truly newsworthy story coming out of Florida this decade.

bsky.app/profile/miq....

Make it a Quote @miq.moe · Aug 22

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 15h

You could even design your own complaint form that reads serious until you let them in on the joke in the fine print.

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 15h

Have they threatened to "call your boss or your employers HR" yet? That's apparently trending.

1 3

Reposted by 🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃

Kate Starbird @katestarbird.bsky.social · 17h

Great business model! They have to turn a profit somewhere, right? Get the audience (of lonely and poorly socialized males) addicted on an investor-subsidized product (of personalized porn) and then, slowly but inevitably, turn up the cost.

The Verge @theverge.com · 20h

Sam Altman says ChatGPT will soon sext with verified adults

ChatGPT is about to get flirty.

buff.ly

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🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 18h

bsky.app/profile/midn...

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · Sep 11

I too will recommend William Costigan for the Medal of Merit.

www.nytimes.com/2025/09/11/u...

Trump Says He Will Award Kirk the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

www.nytimes.com

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 19h

The probability that an anal musk gland Logan exists in the one universe where Spiderman actually does cast spider silk from his rectal area is not 0. And under the file cabinet that worked out Deadpool feasibility, there's probably a drawer of market research at Disney assessing Marvel Anal Team Up

2 2

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 20h

Is my inability to distinguish John Bernthal and Frank Grillo a unique specific form of face blindness?

This has been my response to my YouTube Feed.

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 20h

Would I dig the Keanu Reeves Alex Winter led production of Waiting for Godot in graphic novel form in Ron Garney's BRZRKR style? Yes I would. I'll even suggest @boom-studios.com adapt the below into a page as both proof of concept and possible strongly-worded letter from Beckett estate trigger.

A black and white cartoon drawing of a bleak landscape's desolation expanding to the horizon. In the foreground is a tree with almost all its limbs, but the stump of one, removed, next to a rock. Upon the rock a man in a suit and bowler hat sits reading rectangular object, possibly paper or a tablet or phone. In middle distance is a second figure resembling if not identical to the foreground figure in terms of dress and rough size, with his back turned to the viewer. A caption reads, presumably what the foreground character is reading or evidently hearing, "Please stay on the line. Godot will be with you shortly . . ."

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 1d

The Dick Tracy cosplay community may have their moment this Saturday.

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 1d

Don't poke the fault line impacted by rainfall I didn't pay enough attention in geology class to know whether it's a thing or legend bear!

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 1d

Go Birds.

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 1d

Cue Matt Stoller walking along a road as The Incredible Hulk theme "A lonely man plays." Heck with alpha beta sigma masculinity, Stoller is a hundred percent gamma waving on a personal frequency. "Don't make me angry, Mr. Hat, you'll find me emotional train wreck fascinating if you make me angry."

🎃Midnight Platypus, Machete Edit🎃 @midnightplat.bsky.social · 1d

The hurr-hurr was implied in the post 👍