Mexorcistmas🎄
@mexorcist.bsky.social
I got your number. I steal your thunder. I got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm.
Me: [for the past 4 years] You must report all travel outside the United States.
Them: Canada?
Me: … *sigh*
Me: … [rubbing my temples]
Me: … [shaking my head]
Me: Yep, even Canada.
How the fuck do these people still have a job?
Them: Canada?
Me: … *sigh*
Me: … [rubbing my temples]
Me: … [shaking my head]
Me: Yep, even Canada.
How the fuck do these people still have a job?
December 11, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Me: [for the past 4 years] You must report all travel outside the United States.
Them: Canada?
Me: … *sigh*
Me: … [rubbing my temples]
Me: … [shaking my head]
Me: Yep, even Canada.
How the fuck do these people still have a job?
Them: Canada?
Me: … *sigh*
Me: … [rubbing my temples]
Me: … [shaking my head]
Me: Yep, even Canada.
How the fuck do these people still have a job?
I can't imagine anything I could care about less than whatever Dave Portnoy does or says.
December 9, 2025 at 8:40 PM
I can't imagine anything I could care about less than whatever Dave Portnoy does or says.
I feel like Alan May is too entranced with Jacob Chychrun’s hips. For a guy who tries really hard to be macho…
December 8, 2025 at 3:01 AM
I feel like Alan May is too entranced with Jacob Chychrun’s hips. For a guy who tries really hard to be macho…
Don’t need Chrith Cthillitha ads in my hockey broadcast, Monumental. Focus on hockey and the leading provider of I.T. services to the military industrial complex, pleathe
December 6, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Don’t need Chrith Cthillitha ads in my hockey broadcast, Monumental. Focus on hockey and the leading provider of I.T. services to the military industrial complex, pleathe
Who the fuck is Parker Milner?
December 6, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Who the fuck is Parker Milner?
I hate to say this, but I know all dogs are good boys and good girls, but some of them are just fuckin' ugly. Get your liver-colored shitzadoodle out of here with its liver-colored eyelids and liver-colored nose and that wet, brown-stained mouth fur.
December 5, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I hate to say this, but I know all dogs are good boys and good girls, but some of them are just fuckin' ugly. Get your liver-colored shitzadoodle out of here with its liver-colored eyelids and liver-colored nose and that wet, brown-stained mouth fur.
Just swapped out the standard cork with the Jizmak Da Gusha topper on my holiday bottle of @catoctincreek.bsky.social Hot Honey Rye. I can’t wait to explain Jizmak to my 76 year old mother-in-law as I make her a Thanksgiving cocktail.
November 27, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Just swapped out the standard cork with the Jizmak Da Gusha topper on my holiday bottle of @catoctincreek.bsky.social Hot Honey Rye. I can’t wait to explain Jizmak to my 76 year old mother-in-law as I make her a Thanksgiving cocktail.
It’s only Wednesday night, and my neck is already sore from looking at decisions made by my lovely wife and her parents and shaking my head in disbelief.
And I’m talking exclusively about the goddamned dishwasher.
And I’m talking exclusively about the goddamned dishwasher.
November 27, 2025 at 3:25 AM
It’s only Wednesday night, and my neck is already sore from looking at decisions made by my lovely wife and her parents and shaking my head in disbelief.
And I’m talking exclusively about the goddamned dishwasher.
And I’m talking exclusively about the goddamned dishwasher.
Taking mandatory training provided by the gov't about protecting privacy and civil liberties, and the gov't nominally prohibits a lot of shit that the current administration is actively doing. This is not the kind of irony that I appreciate.
November 26, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Taking mandatory training provided by the gov't about protecting privacy and civil liberties, and the gov't nominally prohibits a lot of shit that the current administration is actively doing. This is not the kind of irony that I appreciate.
No program or application should ever steal focus from another app when a text entry field is the active element (has focus). I don't care if I just launched the other app. When I'm typing, I'm typing; and nothing should hijack that operation.
November 25, 2025 at 9:11 PM
No program or application should ever steal focus from another app when a text entry field is the active element (has focus). I don't care if I just launched the other app. When I'm typing, I'm typing; and nothing should hijack that operation.
Made chicken sandwiches for dinner tonight; plated two for the 17yo who eats later than us.
Before he ate the 2nd, he asked if there was a 3rd. I said "no", but hid one for wife's lunch.
Asked her if she cared. She did not. So I had to tell him: "There is another..." like dying Yoda in Empire.
Before he ate the 2nd, he asked if there was a 3rd. I said "no", but hid one for wife's lunch.
Asked her if she cared. She did not. So I had to tell him: "There is another..." like dying Yoda in Empire.
November 25, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Made chicken sandwiches for dinner tonight; plated two for the 17yo who eats later than us.
Before he ate the 2nd, he asked if there was a 3rd. I said "no", but hid one for wife's lunch.
Asked her if she cared. She did not. So I had to tell him: "There is another..." like dying Yoda in Empire.
Before he ate the 2nd, he asked if there was a 3rd. I said "no", but hid one for wife's lunch.
Asked her if she cared. She did not. So I had to tell him: "There is another..." like dying Yoda in Empire.
I spent like $900 on Saturday night to take the family to dinner and the Caps game. They lost 3-5. Tonight they’re winning 4-0 after two periods. This is why I continue to be a Washington Capitals season ticket holder. FML
November 25, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I spent like $900 on Saturday night to take the family to dinner and the Caps game. They lost 3-5. Tonight they’re winning 4-0 after two periods. This is why I continue to be a Washington Capitals season ticket holder. FML
New Google doc. Title: "NHL Pieces of Shit". Contents: Corey Perry, Tony DeAngelo, Milan Lucic, Jordan Binnington, Patrick Kane. Newest addition: Yanni Gourde. On the verge: Curtis Douglas.
Footnote: Does not include historical pieces of shit, e.g., Patrick Roy, Ron Hextall, Sean Avery, etc.
Footnote: Does not include historical pieces of shit, e.g., Patrick Roy, Ron Hextall, Sean Avery, etc.
November 24, 2025 at 9:51 PM
New Google doc. Title: "NHL Pieces of Shit". Contents: Corey Perry, Tony DeAngelo, Milan Lucic, Jordan Binnington, Patrick Kane. Newest addition: Yanni Gourde. On the verge: Curtis Douglas.
Footnote: Does not include historical pieces of shit, e.g., Patrick Roy, Ron Hextall, Sean Avery, etc.
Footnote: Does not include historical pieces of shit, e.g., Patrick Roy, Ron Hextall, Sean Avery, etc.
Shit, that email from Hegseth's mom is crazy.
My mom just sends shit like "On a cruise. Grand Cayman today. Return on Saturday."
That's because I'm not a huge piece of shit.
My mom just sends shit like "On a cruise. Grand Cayman today. Return on Saturday."
That's because I'm not a huge piece of shit.
November 24, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Shit, that email from Hegseth's mom is crazy.
My mom just sends shit like "On a cruise. Grand Cayman today. Return on Saturday."
That's because I'm not a huge piece of shit.
My mom just sends shit like "On a cruise. Grand Cayman today. Return on Saturday."
That's because I'm not a huge piece of shit.
Anyone else refill the salt grinder with pink Himalayan salt and then suck on a big pink nugget as a reward for all your hard work? Or is it just me?
November 23, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Anyone else refill the salt grinder with pink Himalayan salt and then suck on a big pink nugget as a reward for all your hard work? Or is it just me?
TNT hockey broadcast audio mix is for shit. Too much low end. Low pass filter eliminates higher frequencies and makes it harder to hear the guys in the studio. It’s like they’re under water.
November 20, 2025 at 2:58 AM
TNT hockey broadcast audio mix is for shit. Too much low end. Low pass filter eliminates higher frequencies and makes it harder to hear the guys in the studio. It’s like they’re under water.
I love to see an NHL intermission report for any game that does not feature Paul Bissonnette. Experts talking about the players and the game without intentional attention grabbing through “hot takes” and “extreme attitude”. Guy sucked on the ice, and sucks on TV.
November 20, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I love to see an NHL intermission report for any game that does not feature Paul Bissonnette. Experts talking about the players and the game without intentional attention grabbing through “hot takes” and “extreme attitude”. Guy sucked on the ice, and sucks on TV.
I think my dog knows that I'm right handed.
When I reach for the ball in her mouth with my right hand, she's all "psych!" and "chase me, fucker!"
When I reach for it with my left, she's like "okay you dopey chump, just try it."
When I reach for the ball in her mouth with my right hand, she's all "psych!" and "chase me, fucker!"
When I reach for it with my left, she's like "okay you dopey chump, just try it."
November 19, 2025 at 3:10 AM
I think my dog knows that I'm right handed.
When I reach for the ball in her mouth with my right hand, she's all "psych!" and "chase me, fucker!"
When I reach for it with my left, she's like "okay you dopey chump, just try it."
When I reach for the ball in her mouth with my right hand, she's all "psych!" and "chase me, fucker!"
When I reach for it with my left, she's like "okay you dopey chump, just try it."
The cheap, store-bought ramen brick boiled with an egg and poured into a bowl with sesame oil, chili crisp and a splash of fish sauce. Fresh cilantro on top and a couple leaves of seaweed snack rehydrated in the broth. Frickin' delightful, I tell ya'.
November 15, 2025 at 7:00 PM
The cheap, store-bought ramen brick boiled with an egg and poured into a bowl with sesame oil, chili crisp and a splash of fish sauce. Fresh cilantro on top and a couple leaves of seaweed snack rehydrated in the broth. Frickin' delightful, I tell ya'.
Ford v Ferrari is a great movie. I’ve seen it like 10 times, and it always hits.
November 14, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Ford v Ferrari is a great movie. I’ve seen it like 10 times, and it always hits.
I don’t think any other NHL fan base would ever think, “Pierre-Luc Dubois being out of our lineup is hurting the team,” but it is, and here we are. A testament to the camaraderie in that locker room, the Caps’ team leadership, and PLD’s achieving finally in the right environment. Get well soon.
November 11, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I don’t think any other NHL fan base would ever think, “Pierre-Luc Dubois being out of our lineup is hurting the team,” but it is, and here we are. A testament to the camaraderie in that locker room, the Caps’ team leadership, and PLD’s achieving finally in the right environment. Get well soon.
If we're going to live under a fascist regime, the least they could do is declare that all candy given out on Halloween has to be some variety of Reese's. The remaining treats in the bowl from the 12yo boy's rounds are all gummy/fruit nonsense made from horse hooves and artificial flavors. PNUTBUTR!
November 9, 2025 at 3:13 AM
If we're going to live under a fascist regime, the least they could do is declare that all candy given out on Halloween has to be some variety of Reese's. The remaining treats in the bowl from the 12yo boy's rounds are all gummy/fruit nonsense made from horse hooves and artificial flavors. PNUTBUTR!
I’ve said this before, but the first time you make grilled asparagus is the last time you make any other kind of asparagus. It’s a game changer.
November 8, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I’ve said this before, but the first time you make grilled asparagus is the last time you make any other kind of asparagus. It’s a game changer.
Oh no. That Star Trek TNG Lego set has custom minifigs. As if Wil Wheaton wasn't already insufferably smug, now he can look you in the eye with a smirk and ask, "yeah, well do YOU have your own official Lego minifig?" Don't be a dick, Wil.
November 6, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Oh no. That Star Trek TNG Lego set has custom minifigs. As if Wil Wheaton wasn't already insufferably smug, now he can look you in the eye with a smirk and ask, "yeah, well do YOU have your own official Lego minifig?" Don't be a dick, Wil.