Author | Lightnews

Maximilian Ximenez

@maxximenez.bsky.social

290 followers 660 following 3.7K posts

Literary agent, Fortean psychonaut, freelance demiurge and self-defined "asexual libertine." The Eternal September and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. All inquiries to email.

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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 13h

I'm more of a johto guy

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 1d

My biggest takaway from Bugonia:

Jesse Plemons has a great head of hair on that noggin of his and needs to play Dave Mustaine in a biopic

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 2d

"Hello this is my son Orcrist and my daughter Khaleesi"

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 3d

are they really naming musicians after mediocre CLAMP manga now?

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 4d

a pixelated image of a store with the words hacking in progress

ALT: a pixelated image of a store with the words hacking in progress

media.tenor.com

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 4d

I am begging my fellow New Yorkers to reach back deep into our heritage and consistently refer to Hizzoner Mamdani as "The Boy-Mayor of New York"

Reposted by Maximilian Ximenez

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · Jun 25

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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 5d

Who we used to have to buy weed from before legalization

Dennis Reynolds from Always Sunny in heavy makeup holding a gun

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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 5d

I apologize in advance to all the Stuyvesant alumni in whose faces I will rub a Mamdani victory.

It's ok, when your school produces a mayor you can get back to me.

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 5d

... look the point being is I refuse to be governed by the laws of man inside the happiest place on earth, only Walt can judge me

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 5d

Obama "not bad" reaction image from his first term

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 6d

They added "bolt throwers" to Dwarf Fortress.

Finally, a game with literally everything I love.

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 6d

One day you'll get your license back, keep at it

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 8d

I bring a real "what the fuck is up Denny's" energy to the "Denny's" that the "people trying to eat at Denny's" don't appreciate

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10d

sick byrne

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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10d

Art for art's sake

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10d

A paladin takes his car to an artificer. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."

The artificer has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10d

the siren lure of the 12 ft tall light up skeleton

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10d

just mandela'd in from the alternate universe where your mom still calls every game console "a genesis"

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10d

The thing that hurts about all my friends getting married now is that when I tell them I'm a fully ordained SubGenius minister and would love to officiate their ceremony they always refuse

Reposted by Maximilian Ximenez

Zito @zeets.bsky.social · 11d

Zohran Mamdani caught lying that he understood Plato’s allegory of the cave, yet when asked to explain it, he seemed to instead explain Baudrillard’s theory of Simulacra and Simulation where reality has been replaced by symbols and signs, which seems similar to Plato’s theory but is not the same

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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 11d

Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 14d

Born to chew bubblegum

Forced to kick ass

Reposted by Maximilian Ximenez

Bearhat @fussybabybit.ch · 15d

YOU: what if his name was penis parker and he shot web by jacking his dick lol
YOUR FRIEND WHO WAS TOO INTO COMICS GROWING UP: They actually did that as a whole arc in the late 80s. Wasn't Conway's best work.

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