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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

I love her so much

and i want to spend the rest of my life with her

as long as possible

I love her

Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

for both of us even just being able to spend days resting together, giving our body's the rest they need while still keeping each others company, its the loveliest thing. both of us drifting in and out, but knowing we arent alone

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

I know it sounds stupid,
but when you are ill like this, one of the best things anyone could do is just sit at your bedside while you rest, you feel so much safer and comfortable, when you open your eyes and see someone watching over you

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

i hope all this means we can spend as long as possible together. i truely love her and i want nothing more than for her to feel loved

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

instead of illness being a sudden new thing that changes the whole life and throws us through hell, its a known factor we can rely on and predict

I have better professional supports in place to take care of my body

better pain management so she wont have to see me suffer as much

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

but this time, i think it will be different

we both know upfront where things are going to be headed, we see the difficulties coming on the horizon

and we went into this together knowing we would have to face them

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

both were very much a breakup because of circumstances outside of our control, not because we stopped loving each other.

if life events had passed differently, if we had been dealt different cards, either one of those could have continued happily to this day

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

there was always a moment where i was sitting there, and they were somewhere else, and i felt the feeling in my heart, just wanting to be with them and to spend the rest of of my life with them

and i think if circumstances had been different, i could have done that with any of the previous ones

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

there's only really 3 maybe 4 people this has happened with for me

all of the previous ones turned into multi year relationships where we loved together for a large part of that

but they also all had once thing in common

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

with how much i restrict myself on going into relationships and stuff like that, i never really have the appeal of flings or just dating for a couple of weeks

it just makes it even more special when we meet someone we truely connect with and then it all falls into place perfectly

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

unfortunate news for all of y'all

I'm turning into a hopeless romantic again and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me

like i genuinely spent what felt like an hour today with my girlfriend with me going on about how love feels and how special it is and all the fuzzies and everything

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

idk what the point is writing all this

i guess to just get people to take covid seriously

in terms of society wide mental impact, this has the potential to be far worse than lead poisoning was for those generations

please, keep yourselves safe, get vaccinated, stop the spread, and protect others

Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

i just hope i can get as much out of the time i have left before the point where everything becomes a confusing mess

because i really dont want to be kept around once ive lost all lucidity

being left in a constant state of confusion and panic, its not humane, and its not living

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

theres times now i where just entirely lose time, where i dont remember anything, where im described like a blank state or a slightly naive confused child unable to think

outside of that, it so often feels like a blur, things just happen, and i dont understand them

rarely am i clear headed nowdays

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

my last assessment was around this time last year, the conclusion being i now need substantial support for mental disorientation and difficulties and will need increasing levels of support for the rest of my life

im 25, my brain used to be incredible, but that all disappeared so quickly so young

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

initially it was only noticeable in situations where i had especially bad bloodflow like standing or being upright

but things have slid down the scale since

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

the conclusion ended up being that im in the early stages of early onset vascular dementia

my brain is constantly being suffocated of oxygen, and even when they get the oxygen the mitochondria might not use it, so cells just slowly die

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 3d

idk if I've spoken about this much, at least not on bsky

after our Covid infection in 2023, it was noticed by my carers, family, friends and partner that we were struggling cognitively, more and more as months went by,

and it scared the crap out of us. especially when we used to have a sharp mind

Chantzy @chantzy.bsky.social · 4d

Covid-19 roughly doubled the risk of vascular dementia in adults 50+ and for those with pre-existing mental illness the risk rose ~5x.

A similar signal appears after other viral infections - a reminder that viruses aren’t "mild" when it comes to brain health 🧠

www.nature.com/articles/s44...

COVID-19 infection associated with increased risk of new-onset vascular dementia in adults ≥50 years - npj Dementia

npj Dementia - COVID-19 infection associated with increased risk of new-onset vascular dementia in adults ≥50 years

www.nature.com

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 9d

so idk if its ever going to happen,. especially with time ticking down

unless somehow someone donated multiple thousands to pay for it sll

Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 9d

one of my dreams that i desperately want to happen before i pass is to see her in person

but flying her down here as well as visas and everything else is far outside either of our financial range

both living in poverty

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 9d

i love my best friend

she's going through some intense stuff right now

im just glad I have her and that we've been able to get so close despite how far away we are from each other

but right now i have never been this scared for someone i love

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Reposted by Milo, mars system

Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 11d

so if you are worried this is about you, and im still talking with you occasionally, its not you.

also weekly reminder y'all go to fucking therapy oh my god

trust me itll all be worth it once you get a stable therapist you can see long term and support you through life's difficulties

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 11d

so if you are worried this is about you, and im still talking with you occasionally, its not you.

also weekly reminder y'all go to fucking therapy oh my god

trust me itll all be worth it once you get a stable therapist you can see long term and support you through life's difficulties

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 11d

it's only after years of no growth, no self improvement, that i would consider someone irredeemable

that, or they actively committed an act of knowing malice and harm that is particularly abhorrent and not worth unpacking to save a relationship neither wants anyway

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Milo, mars system @marssysmilo.bsky.social · 11d

I know everyone has rough patches that can sometimes harm the people they love around them, even in some pretty fucked ways.

but emotional growth and acknowledgement and correction of those patterns is also important

there's very few people i would consider irredeemable, everyone has room to grow

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