Mark A. Rayner
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Mark A. Rayner
@markarayner.com
2.6K followers 210 following 150 posts
Human-shaped, simian-obsessed, robot-fighting, pirate-hearted, storytelling junkie, Mark A. Rayner is an award-winning writer of satirical & speculative fiction.
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.com · Aug 22
Howdy Bluesky!

I write #ScienceFiction, #humor and some literary fiction. I teach at a university.

My cats are keeping me sane. (Ish.)

If you want to understand my rich inner life, I recommend this #book: Alpha Max geni.us/AlphaMax

Hear my voice at:
re-creative.ca

#SFF #humour #writing
B&W Photo of Mark lying on pillow with hands behind his head thinking: "Life is too important to be taken seriously." ~Oscar Wilde
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 15h
Seems legit.

#freecandy #aliens #humor #humour
a rusty white van with the words "Free Candy" spraypainted on the side with two grey aliens inside
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 1d
Baby: it's what's for dinner!

#humor #humour #weird #signs
a microwave that says: "child" in the screen and a label on the image that says: "When your microwave demands a sacrifice."
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 2d
A little something to help with the post-timeshift Monday blues: a dog eating celery. [sound on!]

#dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #cute #asmr #humor #humour

[description: a golden retriever happily munching on a very crunchy piece of celery with the phrase […]

[Original post on mas.to]
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 3d
This is 10,000 nunspotting points. No arguments , please.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #nun #nuns #humor #humour
a cat dressed in a little nun outfit
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 4d
A day late, but prime #caturday fuel: The Great Pumpkat

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #cute #humor #humour #halloween

[description: a cute grey kitten wearing a witches hat sitting in an orange blanket-lined bowl]
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 5d
Have a spooky Halloween everyone!

#dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #humor #humour #halloween
a dog dressed as a ghost, with it's muzzle sticking through the boo hole
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 5d
Like this weird dog, I have busy plans for the weekend.

#iknowitsabear #bear #polarbear #humor #humour #weekend #friday
a polar bear lying on its belly with it's head hidden in a pool
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 6d
In Canada, Halloween Moose kicks The Great Pumpkin's ass, every time.

#moose #Meese #mooses #humor #humour #halloween

[description: a huge bull moose eats jackolanterns by the street.]
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 7d
Just a reminder to my Halloween-deranged neighbors, it's hard to top this dude.

#halloween #vladtheimpaler #yarddecorations
painting of vlad the impaler, with the caption: halloween yard decoration champion, 1456-1462
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 8d
I think this video may have been altered.

#obiwankenobi #ewanmcgregor #otters #humor #humour

[description: Ewan McGregor points to six otters in the sea. The video cuts to one of the otters with an obviously fake mouth on it, saying: "That's fucking Obi Wan Kenobi."
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 9d
Monday dog explosion cuteness. [sound on!]

#dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #humor #humour #cute #orf

[description: a wooden gate opens and dozens of dogs burst through in slow motion as Carl Orff's O Fortuna plays dramatically]
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 10d
Roo reaction

[description: kangaroo checking out a Halloween display is scared by the cackling skeleton -- you can see the roo running away far down the street]

#kangaroo #roo #animal #halloween #humor #humour
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markarayner.com
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.com · 11d
So this was identified as AI generated. I'll note these as I find them, but it's still funny.
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 11d
Really shouldn't have had that peyote milkshake for breakfast

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #caturday #humor #humour
A tabby cat sitting in a sink, looking shocked as it sees itself in a convex mirror.
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 12d
I'm enjoying this new genre of jump scare video.

[description: a possum eating candy from a bowl is surprised by a robot witch as it cackles -- jumps straight up.]

#possum #animal #halloween #jumpscare #humor #humour
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 13d
Sharing this. Sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me.

#lotr #austinpowers #pun #puns #humor #humour
Still of Frodo Baggins from LOTR movies, with his face swapped with Austin Powers (in the 'british teeth' era.) Label: Frodo Shaggins
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 14d
Missed opportunity to call it the "spokeslizard."

#simulation #lizardpeople #humor #humour
Lizardman in a blue suit. Headline: Overlords Apologies, Will Reset Simulation to 2015 Caption: "We just wanted to see what you would do," explains spokesman.
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 15d
The labeling on this Inspector Gadget toy is wrong.

#weird #design #humor #humour
Fake toy packaging: Image of C3PO. Actual toy of Iron Man. They Toy is labelled T-800. The package says: "Robotcop - America's favorite cyborg" (Ages 4 and up, Kenner)
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 16d
Hmm. The #aws #outrage reminds me a bit of The Fridgularity -- in which a rogue AI takes over all the internet and only wants to talk to one human via his web-enabled fridge. (The book is 13 years old now, but I think it's aging pretty well.) […]

[Original post on mas.to]
cover art for the fridgularity by mark a rayner -- an old timey fridge with a raven on top, in front of an apocalyptic sky
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 16d
Too derpy to understand gravity.

#dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #humor #humour
a husky looking excited as it apparently stands on a brick wall
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 17d
It's Sunday, so here's your Jesus-related content.

#sunday #sundayfunday #humor #humour #goldenrule
painting of jesus with followers as he says: So I was like, "bro, do you want someone to do that to you? Well, then don't do it to them."
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Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 18d
Look, I'm not coming out until there's tuna.

#caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour
cat sitting in a container looking cross and sullen
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 19d
Weekend plans!

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour #friday
A chonky grey cat standing on the counter next to three bottles of vodka
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 20d
★★★★★ "Rayner is showing his prowess as a genuine storyteller. The stories are at times subtle, at times dark, at times heartwarming, and heartbreaking. He's got skills, and we as readers get to reap the benefits. Bravo!" –Scott F. on Amazon

Only $3.48!

Amazon […]

[Original post on mas.to]
cover art for the gates of polished horn, a collection of stories, by Mark A. Rayner
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markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Mark A. Rayner @markarayner.mas.to.ap.brid.gy · 20d
People forget how hard core the Edwardian Temperance movement really was.

#blackandwhite #vintage #humor #humour
Label: Woman practicing cutting off a head while riding a bicycle. Old black and white photo depicting the same.
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