Author | Lightnews

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 13

"Does our propensity for professing love align with our capacity for substantiating it through meaningful actions?"
"Love is not solely an emotional expression, but a deliberate choice to invest in the well-being of another.#LoveIsAction #BeyondWords #TrueLove #RelationshipsMatter #LifeTruths#usm

Love is not solely an emotional expression, but a deliberate choice to invest in the well-being of another.

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 13

Ordered a “life-sized” teddy bear online. Imagined movie-scene cuddles. What arrived was a plush toy the size of my hand. I now sleep holding it, pretending it’s ironic. My friends think it’s cute… I think it’s betrayal.Expectation: giant hug. Reality: keychain with fur.
#ShoppingFails #usm

Expectation: giant hug. Reality: keychain with fur. 🧸😂#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 12

I tried to cook pasta with YouTube's help, but ended up with a clay-like consistency after mistaking a ceramics channel for a cooking one. Despite the mishap, we ate it. Accidental pottery skills trumped culinary ones. #CookingFails #PastaTragedy #KitchenComedy #ChefNotReally #FoodieFail 🍝😂👀💀😳#usm

Culinary skills? More like accidental pottery. 🍝😂#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 12

At the gym, I mistook a 60-year-old Zumba participant's reflection for mine and admired her toned biceps before realizing my error, leaving me with newfound respect for her dedication. #GymFails #ZumbaQueen #MirrorConfusion #MuscleGoals #Respect 🏋️‍♂️💪👏😊👍#usm

At the gym, I mistook a 60-year-old Zumba participant's reflection for mine#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 12

I entered the café, ordering a latte to tackle Monday morning. But it slipped from my hands, landing on a stranger's lap and prompting screams. The latte was ruined, and it seems Mondays need a witness, not caffeine. #MondayFails #LatteDrama #CoffeeBetrayal #EpicFail #CafeChronicles ☕️😱👀💥😂#usm

Ever had coffee betray you mid-strut? ☕😂#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 12

Peace is a state of mind, not a place. It's found in silence, forgiveness, and living in the present with calm, gratitude, and hope. True peace is created within, not searched for. #InnerPeace #MotivationDaily #CalmMindHappyHeart #GratitudeLiving #InspireDaily #EmbraceTheMoment#usm🌟💫🌎🕊️💖😌🌈

"Inner peace: the art of pretending you can’t hear your name being called.#usm

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usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

The Overachiever”
You work 24/7,
And still ask why you’re tired.
Maybe rest isn’t lazy,
It’s just self-preservation, inspired.
"Workaholics call it hustle. The body calls it help."
#SarcasticPoetry #WorkaholicLife #WittyWords #DailyRoast #TruthWithHumor 🤯💥😴👀💪🏼😂👍#usm

"Workaholics call it hustle. The body calls it help.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

Your self-confidence is notable, if somewhat feeble, much like a basement's WiFi signal. Your arguments aren't flawed, just exhausting to listen to. Keep shining, maybe someday you'll illuminate a room, possibly by leaving it Dropping truth bombs or just dropping IQ points? You decide.#usm

Dropping truth bombs 💣 or just dropping IQ points? You decide.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

The planet is signaling – will we respond? Let's implement sustainable practices today for a better future, as every environmentally conscious decision matters. #SustainableLiving #SaveOurPlanet #GreenFuture #EcoFriendly #ClimateAction #GoGreen #EarthWhispers #ActNow 🌎💚🌱🌟💖🌿#usm

Let's implement sustainable practices today for a better future,#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

"You bring everyone together… mostly to talk about you after you leave."
The gift of gossip is real.
#BestieBurn #FriendshipSavage #WittyRoast #TeaTime #LaughTillYouCry#usm

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usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

Marital relationships resemble a deck of cards, in that two hearts and a diamond are essential at first, but as time passes, a club and a spade become desirable, reflecting the evolution of love and the refinement of survival tactics. #MarriageBurn #CoupleRoast #SavageHumor #SarcasmReloaded#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

"You have something no one else has… the ability to make Wi-Fi feel slow. A rare and dangerous talent.
#UniversalBurn #SarcasmGoals #WittyRoast #LaughModeOn #ComicTruth#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

"Family: where your biggest fans are also your most consistent critics." Love you, but please… not another opinion#FamilyBurn #RelatableHumor #SarcasticTruth #LoveAndLaugh #DailyRoast#usm

Love you, but please… not another opinion.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

Some bring joy when they enter the office you bring joy when you leaveProductivity powered by peace and quiet.
#OfficeRoast #WorkplaceHumor #WittyColleague #SarcasmAtWork #LaughBreak#usm

The office atmosphere improves noticeably once you've left for the day#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

You’re like a cloud… when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.Sunshine is precious, so is your absence.
: #BestieBurn #FriendlyRoast #WittyHumor #LOLZone #SarcasticFun#usm

Sunshine is precious, so is your absence.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 11

Spouse: My spouse claims I never listen... or at least that's what I think they tried to say. Communication level: Master of tuned-out hearing. #CoupleRoast #SarcasmZone #RelationshipHumor #WittyVibes #LoveAndLaughs 😂💕👫😆👍#usm

Communication level: Expert at selective hearing.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

Profound Comprehension. We communicated less verbally yet connected deeply. The silence was filled with unspoken understanding. Every gaze conveyed a profound admission. Every moment of stillness was a solemn vow. True affection doesn't require excessive dialogue. #UnspokenLove#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

The Moment of Hesitation. She turned to depart, yet my hand instinctively grasped hers. Though timing wasn't ideal, the sentiment felt right. Certain farewells are indefinitely postponed. #AlmostGoodbye #LoveInHold #UnexpectedTouch #FateIntervenes 💕😊👫💗😍#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

The Missed Bus We missed the bus. We were unfazed. The lengthy walk turned into our inaugural journey together. Caption: Occasionally, delays align with destiny's schedule. #MissedBusMagic #LoveWalks #UnexpectedJourneys #HeartToHeart 💕🚶‍♀️💫😊👫❤️#usm

Sometimes delays are destiny’s timing.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

Rain Shelter
He offered the umbrella,
but we both knew sharing it
was just an excuse
to be closer.
Rain hides the blush, but not the heart.
#RainyRomance #UmbrellaLove #SilentConfession #UnexpectedFeelings

Rain hides the blush, but not the heart.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

Coffee Spilled
We laughed, not because of the coffee spill,
but because our hands brushed,
and something unspoken bloomed Sometimes, mess creates magic.
#LoveHappens #FateInACup #UnexpectedMagic #WarmSmiles

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usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

The Fateful Encounter She wasn't scheduled to be there, but she was. One look, and the world's noise subsided. Her eyes displayed calm tempests, and mine showed surrender. Love doesn't knock; it just arrives. #UnexpectedLove #FirstGlance #HeartbeatsCollide #EmotionalMoments 💖💕😍#usm

Love never knocks; it simply arrives.#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

I Opened a Shop… 🌟
It wouldn’t just sell products—it would share stories, spark ideas, and build connections. Every item would inspire learning and support local talent.A shop should leave you with more than a purchase—it should leave you with purpose#DreamBig #BusinessWithPurpose#PositiveImpact#usm

✨ "Not just a shop—a space for ideas, community, and change." 🌱📚#usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 10

The climate will not wait for us to act hence,we should take immediate action. Climate change is a critical issue requiring urgent attention to decrease our carbon footprint and shift to renewable energy sources Every moment counts and every effort mattersTake action now for a sustainable future#usm

The climate will not wait for us to act why should we. #usm

usman shaikh malali @malaliusman.bsky.social · Aug 9

My boss told me to have a good day. So I packed up my stuff and went home. He was a little surprised. I was like "Hey, you told me to have a good day, and I'm going to have a good day." He was a little confused. I think he was just trying to be nice.
#WorkHumor #BossLife #QuittersClub 😊👍💼😄👏💃😆#usm

My boss told me to have a good day. So I packed up my stuff and went home#usm