Legal Podcast Network LOLZ
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lpnlolz.bsky.social
Legal Podcast Network LOLZ
@lpnlolz.bsky.social
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Me, ugly-crying on the courthouse steps:
🥹 “We did it. The war is over. The emails can stop.”
3 years, 97 continuances, 4 mediations, 2 judges, and one blessed final order.

#SettledAtLast #LegalPTSD #TearsOfRelief #lawyerlife 
“Your Honor, my client would like to invoke… maritime law?”
⚖️ When they come in quoting TikTok and leave quoting case law after you do damage control.

#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems 
When your objection wasn’t just sustained.... it was career-ending.
💁‍♀️ “If you wanted it admitted, you should’ve followed the rules.”
💼 Procedural flex: activated.

#TrialTactics #LawyerWins #BurntTheirCaseDown
When opposing counsel gets grilled for the same objection you got roasted for yesterday…
🥲 Welcome to the “judicial whiplash” club.
“Rules? Guidelines? Depends on the day.”

#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems #courtroomcomedy 
“Sir, this is not a town hall meeting.”
🎤 When courtroom turns C-SPAN because someone watched one episode of The West Wing.

#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems #courtroomcomedy 
Me, gripping my binder like it’s the Constitution:
💥 “So he can interrupt freely, but I raise my voice and it’s ‘decorum’?”

#LawyerLife  #LegalDoubleStandards #legalhumor 
⚖️ "Was this your motion?"
🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️"I thought it was yours!"

#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems #courtroomcomedy 
When your inner law student ruins a perfectly good courtroom drama.
👩‍⚖️💥 “Objection! That’s hearsay!”
😼📘 “Actually… Rule 801(d)(2).”

#LawyerLife #HearsayWho #LegalMeme #TrialByCat
When your whole personality is courtroom swagger.
💼💅 "Your Honor, may I approach?"
Because power moves start at the podium.

#lawyerlife #legalhumor #courtroomcomedy 
Just a lawyer, haunting their inbox, hoping that today’s the day that “urgent doc” finally arrives.
Third request... still no reply.

#LawyerLife #ClientFollowUp #LegalDelay
Client theories are cute, but hearsay doesn’t win trials.
Evidence > vibes every time.

#TrialPrep #LawyerLogic #ClientSaidWhat
Retrial mode: activated 🐶📎
Because giving up isn’t in the brief.

#MotionForReconsideration #LawyerDog
Ah yes, the sacred ritual of explaining discovery for the 12th time… only to be blamed for not working miracles with zero evidence.

#LawyerProblems #ClientExpectations #DiscoveryFails
When the client disappears for an entire fiscal quarter... then demands to know why we’re not in court yet.

#LawyerLife #ClientLogic #DelayedByGhosting
When the client says “Let’s settle this quietly” and you’re already drafting a notice of deposition.
We don’t de-escalate... we litigate.

#TrialReady #LitigatorLife #WeSubpoenaAtDawn
Opposing counsel said it was “just a few minor edits.”
Track changes: activates war mode

#RedlinesEverywhere #ContractChaos #LegalLife
One involves legal databases, case law, and 10 years of experience.
The other involves a Reddit thread and a YouTube video titled “How to Win Any Case in Court!!!”

#AttorneyVsGoogle #LegalResearch #ClientLogic
Just another perfectly manageable Tuesday. ☕🔥
Triple booked for hearings, five deadlines due, and the client wants a full trial strategy… over WhatsApp.
Totally fine. Everything’s fine.

#LawyerBurnout #ThisIsFine #LegalLife 
When your professional side says, “Let it go.”
But your petty legal villain whispers, “Reply all. CC the judge. Burn it down professionally.”

#LawyerLife #ReplyAllWarrior #DarkLawyerMode
Me: Spends 8 hours crafting brilliance backed by precedent and logic
Judge: "Yeah... no."
Just another day in the courtroom trenches.

#LawyerMemes #LitigatorLife #WhyDoIEvenTry
Chasing those sweet, sweet billables like 🚩
Meanwhile, work-life balance and mental health are filing a motion to withdraw as counsel.

#LawyerLife #BillableAddict #WorkLifeWhat 
“Oh it’s just a quick review,” they said.
Now I’m 300 PDFs deep in a subfolder named “misc_final_FINAL_revised.”

#LegalLife #AssociateStruggles #DataDumpDisaster
Oh cool, you volunteered me as tribute.
Totally chill. No pressure. Just my bar license and your entire case riding on vibes.

#LawyerLife #ClientLogic #FixItWithMagic
That moment when it hits you… all your 20s went to motion practice, PDF hell, and clients who treat you like their emotional support attorney.

#LawyerFatigue #BillableTrauma #LegalLifeCrisis
When opposing counsel lures you in with “professional courtesy” then files a motion that reads like a personal attack. 

#LegalPlotTwist #LawyerLife #OpposingCounselChronicles