Xavier Frye LSC, CHT, NLP, EFT, TT
@lionslighthtc.bsky.social
19 followers 17 following 600 posts
Still stuck after doing "the work" and going to therapy? ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Download my free guide: ⬇️⬇️⬇️ freefromyourpast.com/hvg Book private sessions with me here: www.lionslighthtc.com
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They say you have to feel it to heal it. This ebook explains why you're stuck on numb.
freefromyourpast.com/hvg

#numbness #emotionalawareness #honesty #shadowwork #traumarecovery #boundaries #truthbomb #isaidwhatisaid #lionslighthtc
You confuse not feeling with not hurting. You didn’t evolve—you just stopped feeling.

Suppressing your feelings isn’t the same thing as regulating them.

Photo by Joao Tzanno on UnsplashBeing numb to your emotions doesn’t mean you’re “calm.” It means you’re disconnected from your emotions.

You learned early that feeling made you look weak and hurt too much, so you shut them off.
Boundaries aren’t about control; walls are.

When you're ready to get this issue handled, get at me.
#icanhelpwiththat #boundaries #integrity #respect #accountability #relationships #truthbomb #isaidwhatisaid #loveandlighttho #lifecoach #lionslighthtc
Keep it simple. Identify the behavior. State what you’ll do. Follow through with firmness, not fire. “If you raise your voice, I’ll pause the conversation and continue when we can speak calmly.” Then do exactly that.
Integrity means your actions match your words. When they don’t, your unconscious mind stops trusting you. Every time you announce a consequence and don’t follow through, your unconscious stops taking you seriously.
“If you do that again, I’m done.” Then they do, and you stay. That moment teaches your system one thing: your talk is cheap. That’s not self-respect. That’s insecurity masquerading as strength.
Most of what people call “boundaries” are just power plays wrapped in self-help language. You’re not setting limits, you’re issuing ultimatums you don’t enforce.
Boundaries create structure without shutting the connection down. When they’re set, maintained, and observed, they make respect mutual instead of one-sided.
A wall cuts contact to avoid vulnerability and accountability. A boundary defines how interaction continues while maintaining respect. Walls feel absolute and self-protective. They keep you in control, but nothing genuine can get through.
Boundaries and walls are not the same thing. Boundaries define the rules of engagement and what respect looks like. Walls sever the connection altogether. Both can sound like no, but they carry different intent.
When you're ready to do something about it, get at me. #icanhelpwiththat#order #discipline #structure #criticism #negativeselftalk #selfsabotage #innerwork #shadowwork #lionslighthtc
It's time to rewire your relationship to order and discipline. It's nearly impossible to alter your reality without it. I said what I said.
Missed the workout? Take a walk. Broke the writing streak? Write one ugly paragraph. Ate off plan? Eat the next meal clean. No confessionals. No bargaining. Just return to the path.

If your "discipline" makes you smaller, you're doing it wrong.
Eventually, your system rebels. You “self-sabotage,” then shame yourself harder, then repeat. You created the loop you keep blaming yourself for.
Flip the frame. Discipline is relational. It’s you leading your body, not forcing it. It includes repair without drama.
Check your nervous system while you work. Tight jaw, shallow breath, constant self-scanning for failure. That’s criticism. It trains your body to associate action with threat.
If your routine collapses the moment you miss a day, it wasn’t discipline. It was a hostage situation. You tied your value to perfect performance, then called it standards. That isn’t excellence. That’s fear in a clean outfit.
Discipline says, “I’m creating a life that can hold what I want.” Criticism says, “I don’t deserve rest until I earn my worth.”
Discipline builds capacity. Self-criticism builds shame. They can look identical from the outside: same early mornings, same calendar, same grind. The difference is the story underneath.

When you're ready to get this projection problem handled, foreal, get at me.

#icanhelpwiththat #accountability #projection #shaddowwork #innerwork #selfreflection #honesty #integrity #emotionalintelligence #lionslighthtc
When you're finally ready to "do you" foreal foreal, get at me. Let's talk about it. The work doesn't have to be done alone, and it doesn't have to take forever. It does require you to be honest, though.
Make the decision. Keep the promise. Set the boundary, or admit you won’t and stop lying.

Owning the projection doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you accountable.

Today, take one judgment you’re certain about and translate it into an I-statement. “They never commit” becomes “I avoid making clear decisions.” Now act against it.

Pull the mirror closer. Where do you do the thing you condemn? Where do you manipulate with silence, perform humility to avoid risk, or use niceness as a weapon? Say it without theatrics. Then choose a different move in real time.
The body knows the truth. That’s why your chest tightens and your voice sharpens when you talk about them. You’re arguing with yourself, and losing.