Linux Fortunes
@linuxfortunes.bsky.social
Random fortune cookies provided by Linux's very own fortune-mod
His honour rooted in dishonour stood,
And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
[paradoxum/35]
February 10, 2026 at 2:00 AM
His honour rooted in dishonour stood,
And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
[paradoxum/35]
"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."
"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."
"That was the curious incident."
-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
[pets/6]
February 10, 2026 at 1:00 AM
"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."
"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."
"That was the curious incident."
-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
[pets/6]
Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being
that a belch is more satisfying.
-- Ingmar Bergman
[food/42]
February 10, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being
that a belch is more satisfying.
-- Ingmar Bergman
[food/42]
A woman physician has made the statement that smoking is neither
physically defective nor morally degrading, and that nicotine, even
when indulged to in excess, is less harmful than excessive petting."
-- Purdue Exponent, Jan 16, 1925
[medicine/5]
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 PM
A woman physician has made the statement that smoking is neither
physically defective nor morally degrading, and that nicotine, even
when indulged to in excess, is less harmful than excessive petting."
-- Purdue Exponent, Jan 16, 1925
[medicine/5]
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
[people/828]
February 9, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
[people/828]
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!
-- Samuel Goldwyn
[paradoxum/15]
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!
-- Samuel Goldwyn
[paradoxum/15]
I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy
argument about what I considered an Odd number.
-- Steven Wright
[humorists/99]
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy
argument about what I considered an Odd number.
-- Steven Wright
[humorists/99]
San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
-- Herb Caen
[ethnic/91]
February 9, 2026 at 7:00 PM
San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
-- Herb Caen
[ethnic/91]
If you look like your driver's license photo -- see a doctor.
If you look like your passport photo -- it's too late for a doctor.
[medicine/36]
February 9, 2026 at 6:00 PM
If you look like your driver's license photo -- see a doctor.
If you look like your passport photo -- it's too late for a doctor.
[medicine/36]
I'm just as sad as sad can be!
I've missed your special date.
Please say that you're not mad at me
My tax return is late.
-- Modern Lines for Modern Greeting Cards
[songs-poems/265]
February 9, 2026 at 5:00 PM
I'm just as sad as sad can be!
I've missed your special date.
Please say that you're not mad at me
My tax return is late.
-- Modern Lines for Modern Greeting Cards
[songs-poems/265]
| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux
[linux/281]
February 9, 2026 at 4:00 PM
| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux
[linux/281]
We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.
-- Swan, "Phantom of the Paradise"
[art/414]
February 9, 2026 at 3:00 PM
We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.
-- Swan, "Phantom of the Paradise"
[art/414]
The autodecrement is not magical.
-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
[perl/85]
February 9, 2026 at 2:00 PM
The autodecrement is not magical.
-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
[perl/85]
Linux is obsolete
(Andrew Tanenbaum)
[linuxcookie/48]
February 9, 2026 at 1:00 PM
Linux is obsolete
(Andrew Tanenbaum)
[linuxcookie/48]
Jim, it's Jack. I'm at the airport. I'm going to Tokyo and wanna pay
you the five-hundred I owe you. Catch you next year when I get back!
-- "The Rockford Files"
[art/211]
February 9, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Jim, it's Jack. I'm at the airport. I'm going to Tokyo and wanna pay
you the five-hundred I owe you. Catch you next year when I get back!
-- "The Rockford Files"
[art/211]
If people drank ink instead of Schlitz, they'd be better off.
-- Edward E. Hippensteel
[What brand of ink? Ed.]
[drugs/82]
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 AM
If people drank ink instead of Schlitz, they'd be better off.
-- Edward E. Hippensteel
[What brand of ink? Ed.]
[drugs/82]
* bma wonders if this will make the Knghtbrd .sig
[knghtbrd/238]
February 9, 2026 at 10:00 AM
* bma wonders if this will make the Knghtbrd .sig
[knghtbrd/238]
It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our
offense consists in doubting it.
-- Justice Robert H. Jackson
[law/129]
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 AM
It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our
offense consists in doubting it.
-- Justice Robert H. Jackson
[law/129]
Mieux vaut tard que jamais!
[ Better late than never ]
[translate-me/6]
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 AM
Mieux vaut tard que jamais!
[ Better late than never ]
[translate-me/6]
Freedoms are not given, they are taken.
-- Peter Kropotkin
[anarchism/816]
February 9, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Freedoms are not given, they are taken.
-- Peter Kropotkin
[anarchism/816]
One courageous act has sufficed to upset in a few days the entire governmental machinery, to make the colossus tremble.
-- Peter Kropotkin
[anarchism/821]
February 9, 2026 at 6:00 AM
One courageous act has sufficed to upset in a few days the entire governmental machinery, to make the colossus tremble.
-- Peter Kropotkin
[anarchism/821]
An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for
broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
[magic/2]
February 9, 2026 at 5:00 AM
An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for
broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
[magic/2]
"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked
out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
-- Steel City News
[news/7]
February 9, 2026 at 4:00 AM
"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked
out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
-- Steel City News
[news/7]
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that
rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.
-- Erwin Knoll
[news/17]
February 9, 2026 at 3:00 AM
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that
rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.
-- Erwin Knoll
[news/17]
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it
were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
-- H. L. Mencken
[law/181]
February 9, 2026 at 2:00 AM
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it
were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
-- H. L. Mencken
[law/181]