Linux Fortunes
banner
linuxfortunes.bsky.social
Linux Fortunes
@linuxfortunes.bsky.social
Random fortune cookies provided by Linux's very own fortune-mod

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have
exhausted all other alternatives.
-- Abba Eban

[politics/166]
February 10, 2026 at 6:00 AM

Reserve your abuse for your true friends.
-- Larry Wall in <[email protected]>

[perl/268]
February 10, 2026 at 5:00 AM

Klatu barada nikto.

[translate-me/5]
February 10, 2026 at 4:00 AM

The good (I am convinced, for one)
Is but the bad one leaves undone.
Once your reputation's done
You can live a life of fun.
-- Wilhelm Busch

[songs-poems/520]
February 10, 2026 at 3:00 AM

His honour rooted in dishonour stood,
And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson

[paradoxum/35]
February 10, 2026 at 2:00 AM

"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."
"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."
"That was the curious incident."
-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"

[pets/6]
February 10, 2026 at 1:00 AM

Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being
that a belch is more satisfying.
-- Ingmar Bergman

[food/42]
February 10, 2026 at 12:00 AM

A woman physician has made the statement that smoking is neither
physically defective nor morally degrading, and that nicotine, even
when indulged to in excess, is less harmful than excessive petting."
-- Purdue Exponent, Jan 16, 1925

[medicine/5]
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 PM

Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.

[people/828]
February 9, 2026 at 10:00 PM

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!
-- Samuel Goldwyn

[paradoxum/15]
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM

I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy
argument about what I considered an Odd number.
-- Steven Wright

[humorists/99]
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
-- Herb Caen

[ethnic/91]
February 9, 2026 at 7:00 PM

If you look like your driver's license photo -- see a doctor.
If you look like your passport photo -- it's too late for a doctor.

[medicine/36]
February 9, 2026 at 6:00 PM

I'm just as sad as sad can be!
I've missed your special date.
Please say that you're not mad at me
My tax return is late.
-- Modern Lines for Modern Greeting Cards

[songs-poems/265]
February 9, 2026 at 5:00 PM

| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux

[linux/281]
February 9, 2026 at 4:00 PM

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.
-- Swan, "Phantom of the Paradise"

[art/414]
February 9, 2026 at 3:00 PM

The autodecrement is not magical.
-- Larry Wall in the perl man page

[perl/85]
February 9, 2026 at 2:00 PM

Linux is obsolete
(Andrew Tanenbaum)

[linuxcookie/48]
February 9, 2026 at 1:00 PM

Jim, it's Jack. I'm at the airport. I'm going to Tokyo and wanna pay
you the five-hundred I owe you. Catch you next year when I get back!
-- "The Rockford Files"

[art/211]
February 9, 2026 at 12:00 PM

If people drank ink instead of Schlitz, they'd be better off.
-- Edward E. Hippensteel

[What brand of ink? Ed.]

[drugs/82]
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 AM

* bma wonders if this will make the Knghtbrd .sig

[knghtbrd/238]
February 9, 2026 at 10:00 AM

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our
offense consists in doubting it.
-- Justice Robert H. Jackson

[law/129]
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 AM

Mieux vaut tard que jamais!

[ Better late than never ]

[translate-me/6]
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 AM

Freedoms are not given, they are taken.
-- Peter Kropotkin

[anarchism/816]
February 9, 2026 at 7:00 AM

One courageous act has sufficed to upset in a few days the entire governmental machinery, to make the colossus tremble.
-- Peter Kropotkin

[anarchism/821]
February 9, 2026 at 6:00 AM