Author | Lightnews

LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3

LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3

@limeritweets.bsky.social

180 followers 160 following 85 posts

I am a limericist and musician based in New York City. I write limericks and am considering a migration from Twitter before it becomes X.

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 9d

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SPEAKER JOHNSON’S DERELECTION OF DUTY

As he plans his next line of attack
Mike Johnson is starting to crack

..he says like a perv
..Grivalva will serve

But only if I call Congress back.

#adelita #adelitagrijalva #mikejohnson #RepublicanShutdown #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles

a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and looking down .

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and looking down .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 19d

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REPUBLICANS MOCK NO KINGS PROTESTS

Republicans are pulling the strings
With all of the mud that it slings

..they’ll casually frown
..against #GovernmentShutdown

But won’t dare stand up against Kings.

#NoKings #RepublicanShutdown #MAGACultMorons #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice

a drawing of a puppet with a red jacket on

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 20d

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SPEAKER JOHNSON SUPPORTS TAXPAYER-FUNDED SHUTDOWN VACATIONS

Mike Johnson the Speaker can say
The government is shutdown today

..from his Washington dome
..he sent the House home

& gave them vacation with pay.

#mikejohnson #governmentshutdown2025 #TrumpsGovernmentShutdown

LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 20d

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SPEAKER JOHNSON SUPPORTS TAXPAYER-FUNDED SHUTDOWN VACATIONS

Mike Johnson the Speaker can say
The government is shutdown today

..from his Washington dome
..he sent the House home

& gave them vacation with pay.

#mikejohnson #governmentshutdown2025 #TrumpsGovernmentShutdown

oprah winfrey is holding a microphone and dancing on a stage .

ALT: oprah winfrey is holding a microphone and dancing on a stage .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 23

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RAMBLING TRUMP BRAGS TO UN FOR AN HOUR

At the UN, Donald Trump gave his speech
Like a dullard who’s attempting to preach

..it seems like a gamble
..to spew and to ramble

And brag that he lives on a beach.

#TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #TrumpIsOnTheEpsteinList #UNGA80

a close up of a man in a christmas outfit with the words `` you sit on a throne of lies '' .

ALT: a close up of a man in a christmas outfit with the words `` you sit on a throne of lies '' .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 23

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RAMBLING TRUMP BRAGS TO UN FOR AN HOUR

At the UN, Donald Trump gave his speech
Like a dullard who’s attempting to preach

..it seems like a gamble
..to spew and to ramble

And brag that he lives on a beach.

#TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #TrumpIsOnTheEpsteinList #UNGA80

two men in suits and ties are sitting next to each other and one is pointing at the other 's head .

ALT: two men in suits and ties are sitting next to each other and one is pointing at the other 's head .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 20

‪.-.‬
‪TRUMP IRKED BY 97% BAD PRESS REPORTS‬

‪Donald Trump is beginning to preach‬
‪He learned lessons that he’d like to teach‬

‪..he’d like to impress‬
‪..that he gets such Bad Press‬

‪& now he has to cancel Free Speech.‬

‪#FreedomOfSpeech #FreeSpeech #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #fcc‬

a cartoon monkey holding a microphone with speech bubbles that say free speech and you can 't cancel

ALT: a cartoon monkey holding a microphone with speech bubbles that say free speech and you can 't cancel

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 20

‪.-.‬
‪TRUMP IRKED BY 97% BAD PRESS REPORTS‬

‪Donald Trump is beginning to preach‬
‪He learned lessons that he’d like to teach‬

‪..he’d like to impress‬
‪..that he gets such Bad Press‬

‪& now he has to cancel Free Speech.‬

‪#FreedomOfSpeech #FreeSpeech #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #fcc‬

LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 20

‪.-.‬
‪TRUMP IRKED BY 97% BAD PRESS REPORTS‬

‪Donald Trump is beginning to preach‬
‪He learned lessons that he’d like to teach‬

‪..he’d like to impress‬
‪..that he gets such Bad Press‬

‪& now he has to cancel Free Speech.‬

‪#FreedomOfSpeech #FreeSpeech #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #fcc‬

a cartoon monkey holding a microphone with speech bubbles that say free speech and you can 't cancel

ALT: a cartoon monkey holding a microphone with speech bubbles that say free speech and you can 't cancel

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 18

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FCC CHAIR CARR CANCELS FREE SPEECH ON TV

FCC Chairman Brendan Carr
Is acting like a King or a Tsar

..he’d like to declare
..that Kimmel and Colbert

Are taking their free speech too far.

#FreeSpeech #JimmyKimmelLive #Colbert #brendancarr #FCC #Project2025

a man wearing headphones says " you 're cancelled " in white letters

ALT: a man wearing headphones says " you 're cancelled " in white letters

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 18

.-.
FCC CHAIR CARR CANCELS FREE SPEECH ON TV

FCC Chairman Brendan Carr
Is acting like a King or a Tsar

..he’d like to declare
..that Kimmel and Colbert

Are taking their free speech too far.

#FreeSpeech #JimmyKimmelLive #Colbert #brendancarr #FCC #Project2025

a man wearing headphones says " you 're cancelled " in white letters

ALT: a man wearing headphones says " you 're cancelled " in white letters

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 13

.-.
REPUBLICANS BLAME LEFTISTS FOR KIRK MURDER

Republicans were quite quick to jump
And ID each Leftist as a Chump

..they made a Big Error
..saying MURDER IS TERROR

Though their Assassin’s a Supporter of Trump.

#CharlieKirkdead #CharlieKirk #TylerRobinson #DemsUnited

a man wearing a blue jacket and white shirt is smiling .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 11

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TRUMP’S FACE IS DROOPING AT MEMORIAL

The Press may deliver a scoop
That Trump looks like he’s out of the loop

..they’ll attempt to evoke
..that he just had a stroke

& his face is beginning to droop.

#trumpstroke #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles

a close up of a man 's face with a box video downloader sticker on it .

ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a box video downloader sticker on it .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 10

.-.
EPSTEIN TRUMP FILES PRESS CONFERENCE

Donald Trump will declare by default
All the Evidence is kept in a Vault

..but he’ll lose some mystique
..when the Survivors speak

About the rapes & sexual assault.

#EpsteinTrumpFiles #TrumpEpsteinPedoCoverUp #trumpdead #trumpisunfit

two men are posing for a picture and one has a pink tie on

ALT: two men are posing for a picture and one has a pink tie on

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 10

.-.
TRUMPFLATION IS WRECKING THE NATION

Americans will say with a smile
Republicans may stay in denial

..with all the #trumpflation
..still wrecking the Nation

Because Trump is a pervy pedophile.

#TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice

a group of men are standing in a room and one of them is saying fell for it again

ALT: a group of men are standing in a room and one of them is saying fell for it again

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 10

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PUTIN OWNS TRUMP, ATTACKS NATO ALLIES

Donald Trump should be catching some flack
Since it’s too late for him to backtrack

..he preached to the choir
..we need no ceasefire

& now Russia is on the Attack.

#PutinOwnsTrump #Russia #NATO #polanddefense #TrumpIsARussianAsset

donald trump and vladimir putin shaking hands in front of an american flag

ALT: donald trump and vladimir putin shaking hands in front of an american flag

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 10

.-.
TRUMPFLATION IS WRECKING THE NATION

Americans will say with a smile
Republicans may stay in denial

..with all the #trumpflation
..still wrecking the Nation

Because Trump is a pervy pedophile.

#TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice

a group of men are gathered in a room with cnbc written on the bottom

ALT: a group of men are gathered in a room with cnbc written on the bottom

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 10

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TRUMP HECKLED AND BOOED AT DC DINNER

Donald Trump may be misconstrued
When he sat down for Steak and Seafood

..he made a wisecrack
..about the Russian attack

So he's heckled & jeered & he's booed.

#russiaIsATerroristState #TrumpIsARussianAsset #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles

a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a room with a sign that says boooooo00000 .

ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a room with a sign that says boooooo00000 .

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · Sep 10

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TRUMP IGNORES PUTIN'S ATTACK ON POLAND

After Russia's recent drone attack
Donald Trump is beginning to crack

..he'd like to ignore
..Putin's liminal war

While Poland just gets the blowback.

#RussiaUkraine #poland #Putinspuppet #PutinOwnsTrump #russiaIsATerroristState

a puppet of donald trump sitting at a desk

ALT: a puppet of donald trump sitting at a desk

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · May 29

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TACO TRUMP IS BEGINNING TO POUT

As people are raising new doubt
#TACOTrump is beginning to pout

..from here to Morocco
..they’re calling him #TACO

That’s cuz #TrumpAlwaysChickensOut.

#TrumpTariffs #trumptaco #TACOTrump #TACO #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #trumprecession

a man in a suit and tie is holding a pie in front of his head and giving a thumbs up

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is holding a pie in front of his head and giving a thumbs up

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · May 29

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TACO TRUMP ALWAYS CHICKENS OUT

The truth in case there was doubt
Donald Trump may be losing his clout

..his tariffs will reveal
..he loses every deal

That’s because Trump Always Chickens Out.

#Trumptaco #tacotrump #trumptariffs #trumprecession

a chicken is flying in front of a trump tower

ALT: a chicken is flying in front of a trump tower

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · May 3

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TRUMP PLANNING A BIRTHDAY PARADE

Donald Trump will celebrate his birth
With a display that shows what he’s worth

..part of the charade
..is he’ll plan a parade

That will be the biggest on Earth.

#TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #birthdayparade #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice

a mcdonald 's balloon floats down a city street during a parade sponsored by nbc

ALT: a mcdonald 's balloon floats down a city street during a parade sponsored by nbc

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · May 3

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POOP DONALD HAS PAPAL DREAMS

Donald Trump may look like a dope
Deluded & unable to cope

..he acts like a bully
..pretending he’s Holy

& dressing like a Catholic & Pope.

#PopeFrancis #PoopDonald #TrumpIsBrainDead #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #trumpisunfit #PoopPantsis

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · May 3

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POOP DONALD HAS PAPAL DREAMS

Donald Trump may look like a dope
Deluded & unable to cope

..he acts like a bully
..pretending he’s Holy

& dressing like a Catholic & Pope.

#PopeFrancis #PoopDonald #TrumpIsBrainDead #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #trumpisunfit #PoopPantsis

media.tenor.com