Kristen Arnett
@kristenarnett.bsky.social
“Orlando's Reigning Big Time Celebrity Author” - The Orlando Weekly
huuuuge lesbian. librarian. dad. floridian. beer drinker. NYT Bestselling author.
Mostly Dead Things & WITH TEETH & STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE
https://www.kristenarnettwriter.com
huuuuge lesbian. librarian. dad. floridian. beer drinker. NYT Bestselling author.
Mostly Dead Things & WITH TEETH & STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE
https://www.kristenarnettwriter.com
Pinned
Stop Me If You've Heard This One
A Novel
thelynxbooks.com
i’m doing signed preorders for STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE with The Lynx (real florida moves) and i’ll draw anything you want in there!!!!!!!! clown it up, it’s your time to shine (and my time to sign)
thelynxbooks.com/item/ZoOPMvN...
thelynxbooks.com/item/ZoOPMvN...
jack frost nipping at your nose? it’s more likely than you think
December 1, 2025 at 11:28 PM
jack frost nipping at your nose? it’s more likely than you think
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
just put the finishing touches on my novel! Inspired by William Gibson, it's the story of a dystopian society where corporations trade cured pork through a vast, interconnected digital web — the titular HAM NET. And now I think I'll reward myself with a trip to the movies
December 1, 2025 at 2:43 PM
just put the finishing touches on my novel! Inspired by William Gibson, it's the story of a dystopian society where corporations trade cured pork through a vast, interconnected digital web — the titular HAM NET. And now I think I'll reward myself with a trip to the movies
“this is kind of like a charcuterie board” - my wife regarding the chilis triple dipper
December 1, 2025 at 12:22 AM
“this is kind of like a charcuterie board” - my wife regarding the chilis triple dipper
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
It was complete joy to talk to my dear pal, the brilliant Benjamin Dreyer, to whom I am ever grateful.
At long last, here's my conversation with wonderful @elizmccrack.bsky.social, whose wonderful new A Long Game goes on sale (at least in the US) next week!
A Long Game
[my conversation with Elizabeth McCracken]
open.substack.com
November 28, 2025 at 10:21 PM
It was complete joy to talk to my dear pal, the brilliant Benjamin Dreyer, to whom I am ever grateful.
annual family photoshoot
November 27, 2025 at 8:35 PM
annual family photoshoot
dashiell hammett imploring the hard-boiled detective reader like “please, my man, he’s very thin”
November 24, 2025 at 5:39 PM
dashiell hammett imploring the hard-boiled detective reader like “please, my man, he’s very thin”
who up is actually short for whomst upright
November 21, 2025 at 5:25 PM
who up is actually short for whomst upright
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow
November 18, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow
heard a guy at this tennis complex say “well well well, here comes trouble! guess they’ll let anybody on these courts huh” and i immediately felt i was in a holy space, observing the ancient dad texts
November 19, 2025 at 12:27 AM
heard a guy at this tennis complex say “well well well, here comes trouble! guess they’ll let anybody on these courts huh” and i immediately felt i was in a holy space, observing the ancient dad texts
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Got to meet @kristenarnett.bsky.social this afternoon at an event I helped organize at the Pride Center. I hadn’t read her books before but it was interesting to hear her talk & she was lovely to talk to. She also talked me into signing up for @authorsabb.bsky.social lol.
November 16, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Got to meet @kristenarnett.bsky.social this afternoon at an event I helped organize at the Pride Center. I hadn’t read her books before but it was interesting to hear her talk & she was lovely to talk to. She also talked me into signing up for @authorsabb.bsky.social lol.
husband in the dairy aisle at the grocery store shopping his wife just said “you should get the monetary jack, that’s one of the best kinds of cheese”
November 15, 2025 at 11:13 PM
husband in the dairy aisle at the grocery store shopping his wife just said “you should get the monetary jack, that’s one of the best kinds of cheese”
access hollywood? do you mean you have a key to it or the gate code handy
November 14, 2025 at 4:02 AM
access hollywood? do you mean you have a key to it or the gate code handy
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Am I the asshole for accusing my friend of plagiarizing a TV show? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers this question and more.
Am I the Asshole For Accusing My Friend of Plagiarizing a TV Show?
Howdy friends! It’s my genuine pleasure to welcome you back to another installment of everyone’s favorite writing-flavored advice column, Am I The Literary Asshole? I’m your host, Kristen Arnett, a…
buff.ly
November 13, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Am I the asshole for accusing my friend of plagiarizing a TV show? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers this question and more.
blast from the pabst
November 7, 2025 at 10:56 PM
blast from the pabst
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
replied “yeah we got some real fellas out there” when my wife told me that she disturbed a lizard on the porch
November 5, 2025 at 1:23 AM
replied “yeah we got some real fellas out there” when my wife told me that she disturbed a lizard on the porch
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
We took out the LAST Republican on the Orlando City Council!!! Congrats to Commisioner-Elect Tom Keen! And thanks to all of our volunteers and Organizers that knocked hella doors and spent all day today on the phone to Get Out The Vote!
November 5, 2025 at 1:17 AM
We took out the LAST Republican on the Orlando City Council!!! Congrats to Commisioner-Elect Tom Keen! And thanks to all of our volunteers and Organizers that knocked hella doors and spent all day today on the phone to Get Out The Vote!
SOUTHERN! BOOK PRIZE! FINALIST!!! thank you to @stephopitz.bsky.social for breaking the news lol
November 1, 2025 at 5:17 PM
SOUTHERN! BOOK PRIZE! FINALIST!!! thank you to @stephopitz.bsky.social for breaking the news lol
gonna get a hat made that says “loving my wife, it’s a way of life” and i am gonna also get one made for @joshgondelman.bsky.social
October 31, 2025 at 6:19 PM
gonna get a hat made that says “loving my wife, it’s a way of life” and i am gonna also get one made for @joshgondelman.bsky.social
“i can’t breakdance… who do you think i am, FJ?” - my wife referring to that australian breaker raygun who famously could not breakdance
October 30, 2025 at 6:50 PM
“i can’t breakdance… who do you think i am, FJ?” - my wife referring to that australian breaker raygun who famously could not breakdance
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Hard times spreading just like the flu / Watch out homeboy don’t let it catch you
October 28, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Hard times spreading just like the flu / Watch out homeboy don’t let it catch you
youths on a date at this restaurant were trying to figure out who an actor was and kept saying “you know the guy, he’s like really old and he’s kind of a classic vintage actor?? he was a magician in something” and it turns out they were talking about christian bale
October 27, 2025 at 8:37 PM
youths on a date at this restaurant were trying to figure out who an actor was and kept saying “you know the guy, he’s like really old and he’s kind of a classic vintage actor?? he was a magician in something” and it turns out they were talking about christian bale
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Hosting my very first Sapphic Book Club and wish I could have found the house bar in the book! Did the best I could and I hope I can lead a fun and weird and hilarious very lesbian discussion. @kristenarnett.bsky.social the Lesbians of the Chesapeake are loving your newest read. 🙌 will post photos!
October 23, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Hosting my very first Sapphic Book Club and wish I could have found the house bar in the book! Did the best I could and I hope I can lead a fun and weird and hilarious very lesbian discussion. @kristenarnett.bsky.social the Lesbians of the Chesapeake are loving your newest read. 🙌 will post photos!
yikes, unfollowing now. huge fan of his pathological hunger for lasagna; didn’t realize he’d kicked odie off the end of the table
October 23, 2025 at 3:01 PM
yikes, unfollowing now. huge fan of his pathological hunger for lasagna; didn’t realize he’d kicked odie off the end of the table
knives out? no, i’ve stored them in a practical wooden block
October 22, 2025 at 11:17 PM
knives out? no, i’ve stored them in a practical wooden block