KRISMAS CHEER
@krismascheer.bsky.social
450 followers 370 following 1.2K posts
It's what they call you.
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talking to you feels like sticking my fingers into the enclosure of a beast who allows me to live simply because it has not yet registered me as viable prey.

but one day it will strike
and i'll look down to find my hand removed at the wrist
heartwarming: this deer still gets thrown around the old fashioned way...?
i need to shake someone like a fucking ragdoll.
infect his computer like a virus.
secret agent. reset his ULTRAKILL save.
I don't think I will do that, Krismas.
[ * NOT WHAT YOU MEANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

.

noelle will stay on berdly's computer.
[ Well, that felt oddly hurtful. ]

W-Well...

What about me? That wouldn't be very good...
i wanted the computer to blow up.

[ * ... Said with completely sincerity? ]
i wanted the computer to blow up.

[ * ... Said with completely sincerity? ]
[ . . . That explains why there are so many more virovirokun lately...! ]

Maybe... Fahaha! You know you need to check those before you download them!!
i downloaded cool toolbars. maybe that has something to do with it
i downloaded cool toolbars. maybe that has something to do with it
Maybe I'm just coming down with hay fever... I HAVE been having weird dreams lately!!!
he said i have the knock of a beginner.
never even answered the door, mind you.

i think, uhm. i don't think jockington is—

[ * "For me, she Covered in Hair Always." ]

something is seriously fucking wrong with jockington, actually.
i don't think i'd call him normal under any circumstances.
he what????
that doesn't even make sense, does he-

[ There's a giggle-snort out of her. She's fucking broken. ]

aha-- does he have a list???

i think jockington might have you beat in normalcy, but he's on another level...
compare me to anyone else in town
this one guy up in the apartments likes rating the way people knock on his door. it's not a high bar.

[ * Pursed lips as you try not to smile at her little outburst, and a crinkled nose as you try not to laugh in kind. ]

most normal in our class, bare minimum.
compare me to anyone else in town
this one guy up in the apartments likes rating the way people knock on his door. it's not a high bar.

[ * Pursed lips as you try not to smile at her little outburst, and a crinkled nose as you try not to laugh in kind. ]

most normal in our class, bare minimum.
cheese and crackers...! i can't believe you're that normal!!!!

gosh, you're just the pinnacle of average, huh??

[ * She can't keep it together. There's a few moments of a pause, before she just starts busting out laughing. ]
i got medication for it and everything.
they got me juiced up on the normal pills.

[ * The slightest of smiles. Basically indistinguishable from your normal expression. ]

but i don't actually take them,
'cuz i'm just that normal.
i got medication for it and everything.
they got me juiced up on the normal pills.

[ * The slightest of smiles. Basically indistinguishable from your normal expression. ]

but i don't actually take them,
'cuz i'm just that normal.
[ Oh! They're like a boulder. She can't... Really tug. She could probably pull, but... ]

[ Well, it's just harmless joshing around. Glaring at them. ]

are you now???

you're perfectly normal, huh???

the pinnacle of normalcy??

[ . . . There's a snicker. She can't fake being mad for this long. ]
[ ♥️ Plant your feet. ]

[ * You plant your feet, refusing to be dragged along. Your apple-scented shampoo is guaranteed to keep doctors away, but you're not really eager to test that. ]

not sure what you're talking about here exactly
i have no problems and am perfectly normal
computer

show me berdly's mom
[ ♥️ Plant your feet. ]

[ * You plant your feet, refusing to be dragged along. Your apple-scented shampoo is guaranteed to keep doctors away, but you're not really eager to test that. ]

not sure what you're talking about here exactly
i have no problems and am perfectly normal
okay!

fine!!!

sure!!!!! i can play this game!!!!!!

we're going to the virtual doctor to figure out what your freaking problem is.
i think you might be having auditory hallucinations actually
F-Fahaha!!! Y-You can't-

You can't joke about-

[ . . . Oh! She's blushing. ]

You're not joking, are you...?
i wanna kiss you so bad and every time you talk i question why
WHERE DID ALL THIS TEA COME FROM
i wanna kiss you so bad and every time you talk i question why
i think that it was a dream honestly!!!

i still have both my legs x3
what the fuck is she talking about
what the fuck is she talking about
Fahaha... Hey, Kris, remember how you ripped my leg off and ate it raw?

Gosh, those were some great times, why can't we go back to that?
during elementary school we had to go to confession once a month so i used to make things up. one time i told the pastor that i hit my classmate with a shovel. that one might've been true though i can't remember. you see, there was an anger within me. a profound rage.
( * Suddenly really self conscious, for some reason. )

uh. i mean, yeah.
sure. i've got, um...

... berdly showed me some cool stick figure animations a few months back. you can watch those instead, i guess.
( This is, of course, said entirely jokingly. But being that you are you And Nobody Else, it probably comes off as a little creepy. )

im gonna put on cocomelon
you get dancing fruits with weezer playing in the background
hehe........

you're asking me to take care of you like a little virtual pet
what was that one game you used to play all the time

catz 2 or something??
you're one of those.

you're my cat now. my little pet.
someone come take noelle. she keeps tearing my walls down
.

that sounds really uh,
isolating. i guess. if i had to put a word to it.

can you go to other computers, or...?
i think i would feel really bad if you were just, like.
stuck on my shitty ass windows XP desktop for eternity

d'you want me to change the wallpaper or something
i can take requests
okay
new topic that scares me less than that

if i placed you in the middle of a bunch of windows tabs and had them form a little enclosure could you escape or would you be trapped and at my mercy