Kirsty Webeck
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kirstywebeck.bsky.social
Kirsty Webeck
@kirstywebeck.bsky.social
3.8K followers 110 following 1.4K posts
Comedian. The people’s stepdad. “Everything I Need To Say About Sea Creatures” touring Australia and NZ in 2025. Link below for details and to join my mailing list👇🏻 https://www.kirstywebeck.com/links 📧 [email protected]
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Guy: “My cousin’s a lesbian. Maybe you know her?”

Me: “It doesn’t work like that. We don’t all know each other.”

Guy: “She lives in Brunswick. Her name’s Claire. She has a three-legged cat called Trixie.”

Me: *walks off so I don’t have to tell him we were engaged in 2013*
Men online: “you’re a man.”

Men outside public bathrooms: “wrong bathroom, you’re a man.”

Men at the barber: “why is there a woman in our shop?”
😂😂😂😂 she follows me on zero platforms. Haha!
So you can get in and out of The Louvre undetected? So clever.

Chadstone next.
The fact they were able to find their way out of The Louvre is the most remarkable part of this story.
Sure sex is good but have you ever finally found an antihistamine that helps you win the battle against Melbourne’s plane trees?
Just posted a new clip of my Insta if standup videos are your jam. 🩷
Reposted by Kirsty Webeck
Dunno if youse are across this... but it's forecast that in Sydney on Wednesday the temp will be 38C. (100 F)

It's OCTOBER! That's FIFTEEN DEGREES ABOVE AVERAGE!

Our Government and fossil fuel companies are determined to cook us alive! Boil the oceans. Kill our forests. Turn habitat to ash.🥺😩
Genuinely thrilled the flora is getting laid but I wish it wouldn’t involve me and my respiratory system.
Acquaintance: “If you had a baby tomorrow what would you name it?”

Me: “‘Miracle’ because I’ve had a hysterectomy.”

Them: “Oh.”
Reposted by Kirsty Webeck
Vote now, if you haven't already, for the Guardian's Bird of the Year 2025

It helps to nominate a bird that's endangered, giving it a much higher profile - like Baudin's black cockatoo for example

Please vote - this is a wonderful environmental exercise

🙏🏽 🦜

www.theguardian.com/environment/...
Australian bird of the year 2025: vote for your favourite #birdoftheyear in the Guardian / BirdLife Australia poll
From little penguins to (very big) cassowaries, every bird has its fans. Vote for your favourite in the 2025 Guardian/BirdLife Australia poll
www.theguardian.com
Been missing my beautiful mate Cal for two years today. Love you, Cal.
No, thank YOU, Legend! You’re the best! Really appreciate you coming to my show TWICE! 🩷
I saw the genuinely delightful and hilarious @kirstywebeck.bsky.social tonight. Hook that woman's humour straight into my veins. Can't wait for her next show in Newy. Thanks legend!
Reposted by Kirsty Webeck
Vindication for @kirstywebeck.bsky.social at last.
The FBI has ordered all its agents to cease work and investigate sightings of large cats between Mt Victoria and Springwood in the Blue Mountains National Park
There’s just so many good ones out there.
What she gets up to in her private life has nothing to do with me.
*the year is 2035*

AI has taken over all our jobs. Not because it’s inherently smarter than us but because we allowed it to make us incapable.

“I can’t believe AI is doing my spot at the comedy club tonight,” I mutter under my breath as I reach for my phone, open ChatGPT and type “am I thirsty?”