Kassie Jo
@kassiejo.bsky.social
570 followers 1.1K following 290 posts
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. Hate account. All opinions should be my employer’s. Assistant Prof Early American Lit. Melville. Mill girls. Murder.
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Some days when I read Emerson, I want to give him a swirlie.

Some days, like today, I just feel like dudes rock 🤙 y’know?
Reposted by Kassie Jo
Happy (not quite) birthday to Hannah Crafts, whose precise date of birth is unknown (circa 1830), but who still deserves to be celebrated!
Read about Crafts with:
- "Addition by Subtraction: Toward a Literary History of Racial Representation" by Gene Andrew Jarrett: muse.jhu.edu/pub/17/artic...
1/2
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Lots of options but let's go classic on this one and say that time we shitposted so hard they put it in a peer reviewed journal and then that issue won a prize 🐳
Anyone who knows the concussion protocol want to critique my form here? I tried my best.
The only history I’m interested in these days: today is Snoopy’s 75th bday.
Remember last year when I asked the chancellor what admin’s plan was when people started calling for professors to get fired and he lectured me about classroom management? You think it’s okay to circle back to that now that professor in the system are getting fired?
How much money do I need to become the most unhinged Real Housewife and would you donate to my GoFundMe?
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This reminds us of our favorite Midwest tourist attraction and definitely does not make us think about OUR LEG.
Image from House on the Rock with the open mouth of a whale and boat inside.  Image from House on the Rock of the underside of the whale, show that it is being attacked by a giant squid.
The trumpets that signal the rapture will only play the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
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The art is pouring in to our DMs! Huge thanks to @ishmaelcallme.bsky.social for bringing Angela Smyth’s amazing whale to our attention!

We definitely consider ourselves a whale appreciation society.
Can’t believe my “pokemon GO TO THE POLLS” joke didn’t land in class today.
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This beautiful art was sent to us anonymously and we want to remind you our DMs are always* open.

*Until our co-laborers melt into the sperm.
Edited tweet that now reads:

[Pequod waiting room]
Me: [chanting]
squeeze, squeeze-
co-laborers: squeeze, SQUEEZE
whale [pounding her
clipboard] SQUEEZE, SQUEEZE, SQUEEZE!
I need some professional advice.

Now that I’m faculty and not a grad student, is it still okay for me to troll my university on the internet?
Even Pinterest is bad internet now. I’m going back to the last place I felt happy.
Neopets giant omelette.
I don’t have imposter syndrome until a student asks me to explain a basic grammar rule.
BEAT MY RECORD! Got a Covid vaccine and I only called two pharmacies, went to two others, and sent 400 stress texts.
My surefire fantasy draft strategy: only players with kind eyes.
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I saw JAWS for the first time this weekend and nobody had ever told me it was mostly just guys on a boat (i e Moby-Dick)
I tried. Not even a little cuddle.
Maybe I have certain expectations for men at sea, but I watched Jaws for the first time and there was not enough kissing.
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Wages of unionized workers are 13% higher than their nonunion counterparts.

But unions also set a higher pay standard that all workers enjoy.

In high-union-density states, median household income is $12,000 higher than in low-union-density states.

This is why unions are vital.
Quick, someone give me $200 so I give this cat my mom found under her shed a sense of whimsy.
I’ve been trying my whole life.
Not enough people are talking about how Melville and I are the same height and have almost the same birthday AND YET I am still not invited to be a reenactor at conferences.
What?! Oops. Vintage spoiler from 1993. If you sign up for my Critterology MasterClass, you can get the whole syllabus.