@Joust_A_Minute
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute
@joustaminute.bsky.social
120 followers 110 following 3.8K posts
Depression, anxiety. Heavily medicated for your safety. There is no such thing as a dirty mind... Just a sense of humour with adult content. Twitter @Joust_A_Minute (For now)🔞
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · Nov 12
It's not that bloody lifelike...
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 11h
Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it. Let’s fly into a window.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 11h
Unexpected item in bagging area. Fine to hear in Tescos. In the doctors, not so much.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 12h
No one ever chooses shit on toast as their food hell on Saturday kitchen. Surely that’s worse than seafood and that?
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 12h
#Caturday wallpaper
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 12h
I poured some water over a duck’s back yesterday.
He didn’t care.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 1d
Listen prospective employers, if I could see where I’d be in five years I’d be joining the X-Men not applying for your shitty job.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 1d
Don’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs. And also lay off the subject of anal bleaching.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 1d
My mate’s dog has been trained to sniff drugs. It’s brilliant, he can even roll up his own £20 notes.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 1d
TOPTIP: If you’re being pursued by an assailant on a space hopper, a tack is the best form of defence.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 2d
I’m at the front of the queue for Paranoids Anonymous. Everyone else is after me.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 2d
My prostate exam seemed to be going great until the doctor uttered those words I dreaded to hear. “Ok. My turn now”.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 2d
Those big ‘share size’ packs of crisps are great because you can eat a few, fold it shut, and then immediately reopen it and devour the lot.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 2d
While my wife’s away for two weeks I’m going to build a patio. I don’t want a patio, I just want to freak out my neighbours.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 4d
I hate people who use decimal numbers.
If I was in charge, I’d round them all up.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 4d
Sports Direct: I almost managed a complete turn in one of your shops earlier, you might want to consider cramming some more shit into there.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 4d
I’ve started a fundraising campaign for golfers who despise putting. Feel free to chip in.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 4d
I hate door knobs, or ‘Bouncers’ as they prefer to be called.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 5d
Just worked out that my neighbour’s job is being a spy. Been bugging me for ages.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 6d
Can anyone help me with this crossword clue? German for ‘no’ (9)
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 6d
Our company uses high pressure sales techniques to sell tape measures. You’d be amazed what lengths we go to.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 6d
I’ve just looked in the mirror, I look very middle aged today. Perhaps wearing chain mail was a bad idea.
joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 6d
That awkward moment when your optician asks you to read out some letters and they’re ones he’s intercepted from his wife to a man in prison.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 6d
I wore one of my car tyres out today. I’m not doing it again, it’s too heavy and I looked stupid.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 7d
I’m resting on a stuffed mallard that I got from an internet auction site.
SINGS “Sitting on the duck off eBay…”.
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joustaminute.bsky.social
@Joust_A_Minute @joustaminute.bsky.social · 7d
Well it’s a stupid saying.
Seriously, what are the chances both of us are ever going to have itchy backs at the same time?
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