Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 1h

we hope

Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 1h

(banging desk after each word) make the tech youtubers unbox their software instead of just oversized monitors

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

... is this a new type of SovCit? or just Woo? (emphasis "just" given overlap)

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

there's a reason mine is a realistic and guaranteed money-loser: bsky.app/profile/did:...

Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

Step 1: buy the rights to the Ogre Battle franchise from Square Enix.
Step 2: ask Yasumi Matsuno how much money he needs for therapy to touch it again.
Step 3: throw money down the dev hole.
Step 4: have an entire video game franchise revived purely to see what the other 5 unmade planned parts were.

doctober @docseuss.bsky.social · 20h

lets say a wizard has cursed you with a lot of money. you are going to become permanently brain damaged simply by being in possession of so much money. the only way out of it is to spend a lot of money on something ridiculous and not at all useful

what would you buy to break the curse?

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

"the dream of the 90s is alive in... computing?"

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

The real answer on that end is “ask Richard Branson for advice”, seemingly

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

Before you say “but video games are useful”: look up the lifetime sales of this franchise and tell me I’m not being frivolous lol

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

Step 1: buy the rights to the Ogre Battle franchise from Square Enix.
Step 2: ask Yasumi Matsuno how much money he needs for therapy to touch it again.
Step 3: throw money down the dev hole.
Step 4: have an entire video game franchise revived purely to see what the other 5 unmade planned parts were.

doctober @docseuss.bsky.social · 20h

lets say a wizard has cursed you with a lot of money. you are going to become permanently brain damaged simply by being in possession of so much money. the only way out of it is to spend a lot of money on something ridiculous and not at all useful

what would you buy to break the curse?

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

A lot of my life can probably be explained by the true sentence “I encountered Neopets and the official Warhammer forums in the same week at age 9”

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

1940s Weeb’s idea of Zen

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

“What do you mean 10,000 people can see any thought you choose to share? Sounds fake”

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 2h

Didn’t he also spend almost as much time a couple years back promoting his Totally Not For Piracy retro game console handheld thing?

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

@sharonk.bsky.social didn’t you have confirmation of Vance in several questionable ones a while back?

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

yuzu is excellent

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

Broadly yes. Fruit is expensive though. The twenty thousand youtube videos aren't lying about that part.

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

I mean, nowadays I live in Japan, so. They're fresher lol.

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

The thing was I could usually do guac because it was premade and sealed. But any time I had avocado on a sandwich or something in a restaurant I'd feel like it was crap, so I thought it was the mix of ingredients.

And then one day I finally had fresh avocado and realised: oh, it's just overripe.

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

how is that not already a thing in a sci fi comedy?

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

given his titles, y'all are gonna have cake, not hooters, on the bills.

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 4h

it might be less brutally depressing if any of them appeared to have reached an "after" rather than descending into a spiral

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 5h

For several decades I thought I hated avocados because they always tasted off.
Turned out I just didn't like them if they weren't fresh, and getting properly fresh avocados in Canada is Difficult, Actually.
Avocados can be good but I prefer lots of other food anyway.
Just don't eat old ones.

Starfish Who Can’t Think Something Witty @irhottakes.bsky.social · 1d

Going to take a moment to millennial the fuck out and say avocados are great and other generations were wrong to slander them. Guac is the best dip and that poke bowl with extra mangos and avocados was the shit.

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 5h

(to be clear: i had to look up the pronunciation lmao)

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 5h

do you think anyone responsible for implementing these tariffs has ever heard of, or can pronounce, "caiziyou"?

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Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 5h

god i am looking forward to fall so much. it was 31 C yesterday. the high today is 27 before humidex.
it was 22 this morning and it was so pleasant i walked 40 minutes to work.

Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 5h

the way for America to heal is for Chuck Tingle to be president in 2029

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