jackson henry
@jasonemry.bsky.social
my high bowling score is 300 so my opinions pack a certain gravitas
Pinned
*making sex noises that coincide with my cat’s gentle snoring*
December 9, 2025 at 1:08 PM
*making sex noises that coincide with my cat’s gentle snoring*
a gritty elmer fudd feature starring jk simmons
December 9, 2025 at 5:28 AM
a gritty elmer fudd feature starring jk simmons
getting in my time machine to go back to 1980 to begin woke
December 8, 2025 at 3:03 AM
getting in my time machine to go back to 1980 to begin woke
netflix is vowing that during the warner merger the chill feature will not be affected
December 8, 2025 at 2:11 AM
netflix is vowing that during the warner merger the chill feature will not be affected
the latest gen z trend is turning 30
you old fucks how does it feel
you old fucks how does it feel
December 7, 2025 at 8:38 PM
the latest gen z trend is turning 30
you old fucks how does it feel
you old fucks how does it feel
there should be a flag in washington that, if you get it, you become president
December 6, 2025 at 5:59 PM
there should be a flag in washington that, if you get it, you become president
"KeEp YoUr PeNiS hErE. dOn'T tAkE yOuR pEnIs OuT tHeRe."
the gender police have long been among us
the gender police have long been among us
December 6, 2025 at 5:49 PM
"KeEp YoUr PeNiS hErE. dOn'T tAkE yOuR pEnIs OuT tHeRe."
the gender police have long been among us
the gender police have long been among us
when did we stop being curious about how many beans are in jars
December 6, 2025 at 8:58 AM
when did we stop being curious about how many beans are in jars
elon musk has developed a new faster way to crush peasants called "trillionaire"
December 5, 2025 at 3:44 PM
elon musk has developed a new faster way to crush peasants called "trillionaire"
we literally write movies about “if the monsters see you, you’re dead” and that’s what we’re doing in the caribbean rn
December 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
we literally write movies about “if the monsters see you, you’re dead” and that’s what we’re doing in the caribbean rn
btw they’re like 1yo “teenagers” who never try to fuck anything
what’s that all about
what’s that all about
*Raphael crosses the threshold into his studio apartment and lets out two heavy sighs*
December 5, 2025 at 12:47 AM
btw they’re like 1yo “teenagers” who never try to fuck anything
what’s that all about
what’s that all about
*Raphael crosses the threshold into his studio apartment and lets out two heavy sighs*
December 5, 2025 at 12:46 AM
*Raphael crosses the threshold into his studio apartment and lets out two heavy sighs*
this is the part of the movie where America's right arm dissolves and breaks under its weight and so then America just faceplants because it's left arm is jacking off
December 4, 2025 at 4:12 AM
this is the part of the movie where America's right arm dissolves and breaks under its weight and so then America just faceplants because it's left arm is jacking off
schrödinger's airstrike
December 3, 2025 at 4:19 AM
schrödinger's airstrike
press corps should start calling trump "jugs" until he cracks
December 1, 2025 at 5:44 PM
press corps should start calling trump "jugs" until he cracks
twozopia was right there
November 29, 2025 at 7:41 PM
twozopia was right there
I left academia out of this but shiiiiiiiiiiiiit they gettin it
November 29, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I left academia out of this but shiiiiiiiiiiiiit they gettin it
chatgpt translate this book into a doomscroll
November 29, 2025 at 8:59 AM
chatgpt translate this book into a doomscroll
sending national guard to DC was the kindling. the afghan national was the match. demonizing our military was the gasoline. this fire is 1600% donald dipshit’s doing.
November 28, 2025 at 2:34 AM
sending national guard to DC was the kindling. the afghan national was the match. demonizing our military was the gasoline. this fire is 1600% donald dipshit’s doing.
On the last episode of… Cave Cops…
what about above America honestly I’d say most crime takes place on top of as opposed to below or inside of America
cave murders notwithstanding
cave murders notwithstanding
November 27, 2025 at 10:45 PM
On the last episode of… Cave Cops…
working on thanksgiving is the whole body equivalent to not praying before thanksgiving everyone’s all “Hey, there he is!” *finger guns*
November 27, 2025 at 8:45 PM
working on thanksgiving is the whole body equivalent to not praying before thanksgiving everyone’s all “Hey, there he is!” *finger guns*
"WHAT HAVE I DONE? THIS VEHICLE BARELY MOVES. AND, WHEN IT DOES, IT'S SO, SO DANGEROUS. CURSE THIS CREATION AND DAMN ME FOR CREATING IT!"
-henry ford, if he was a weird sissy like frankenstein
-henry ford, if he was a weird sissy like frankenstein
November 27, 2025 at 8:08 AM
"WHAT HAVE I DONE? THIS VEHICLE BARELY MOVES. AND, WHEN IT DOES, IT'S SO, SO DANGEROUS. CURSE THIS CREATION AND DAMN ME FOR CREATING IT!"
-henry ford, if he was a weird sissy like frankenstein
-henry ford, if he was a weird sissy like frankenstein
every time you scold mike johnson for an unserious action, he cums
mike johnson’s son hasn’t had to monitor his porn intake in years because mike made getting politically cucked his kink
November 25, 2025 at 2:01 AM
every time you scold mike johnson for an unserious action, he cums
Hey guys I invented this new way to solve problems. I call it ‘war’. *one guy gets shot in the dick* Oh shit nevermind. That was way heinous.
-me, if I was in charge of inventing war
-me, if I was in charge of inventing war
November 24, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Hey guys I invented this new way to solve problems. I call it ‘war’. *one guy gets shot in the dick* Oh shit nevermind. That was way heinous.
-me, if I was in charge of inventing war
-me, if I was in charge of inventing war