🎄 Rocky the Raccoon 🎄
@itsrockyraccoon.bsky.social
I'm a friendly raccoon that lives on the Internet, and now that you've read this, I live in your wires >:3
Banner by @pinksphinx.art
Icon by @teddycat.bsky.social
33 - Bi - He/Him
Banner by @pinksphinx.art
Icon by @teddycat.bsky.social
33 - Bi - He/Him
I'm gonna invent an alternative to tin foil called Tim Foil. It's like tin foil except:
- you can only use it if your name is Tim
- catered to all the Tims in the world
- tired of tin foil that isn't personalized for you? well now there's Tim Foil (only for Tims though!)
- you can only use it if your name is Tim
- catered to all the Tims in the world
- tired of tin foil that isn't personalized for you? well now there's Tim Foil (only for Tims though!)
December 13, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I'm gonna invent an alternative to tin foil called Tim Foil. It's like tin foil except:
- you can only use it if your name is Tim
- catered to all the Tims in the world
- tired of tin foil that isn't personalized for you? well now there's Tim Foil (only for Tims though!)
- you can only use it if your name is Tim
- catered to all the Tims in the world
- tired of tin foil that isn't personalized for you? well now there's Tim Foil (only for Tims though!)
I want a flask to bring at Christmas parties so I can discreetly add a little something to my egg nog (vanilla extract)
December 12, 2025 at 5:59 PM
I want a flask to bring at Christmas parties so I can discreetly add a little something to my egg nog (vanilla extract)
Every polycule needs a band name and it needs to be in a "____ and the ____s" format
December 9, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Every polycule needs a band name and it needs to be in a "____ and the ____s" format
Normalize the use of an old timey gothic font for your cover letters and having it start with "Hark!", and setting the H to have a 120 pt. font size
December 6, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Normalize the use of an old timey gothic font for your cover letters and having it start with "Hark!", and setting the H to have a 120 pt. font size
Did anyone else's parents have that set of Christmas tree ornaments that they'd never put on the tree because they were too fancy?
December 3, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Did anyone else's parents have that set of Christmas tree ornaments that they'd never put on the tree because they were too fancy?
I wonder what percentage of carbon that currently makes up my body originated from Papa John's. It might not be too high but it's definitely not 0%
December 1, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I wonder what percentage of carbon that currently makes up my body originated from Papa John's. It might not be too high but it's definitely not 0%
Friendsgiving potluck idea: Everyone brings a dish but it must be in a slow cooker and require no prep, and you plug it in when you arrive in the morning and have a kitchen full of slow cookers. The entire day is spent hanging out and then dishing out the food at dinner time with no cooking stress
November 27, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Friendsgiving potluck idea: Everyone brings a dish but it must be in a slow cooker and require no prep, and you plug it in when you arrive in the morning and have a kitchen full of slow cookers. The entire day is spent hanging out and then dishing out the food at dinner time with no cooking stress
I'm making a pot roast for Thanksgiving!
November 27, 2025 at 4:58 PM
I'm making a pot roast for Thanksgiving!
Reposted by 🎄 Rocky the Raccoon 🎄
Christmas YCH I get with @itsrockyraccoon.bsky.social
November 24, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Christmas YCH I get with @itsrockyraccoon.bsky.social
This Cloudfare outage is wild, I have no idea how the ancient Mesopotamians would have dealt with this
November 18, 2025 at 4:47 PM
This Cloudfare outage is wild, I have no idea how the ancient Mesopotamians would have dealt with this
Me: Wow Wendover, your YouTube videos always provide interesting information about a variety of unexceptional topics and subjects! What are you gonna discuss next time?
Wendover: *thousand yard stare* ...storage units
Wendover: *thousand yard stare* ...storage units
November 12, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Me: Wow Wendover, your YouTube videos always provide interesting information about a variety of unexceptional topics and subjects! What are you gonna discuss next time?
Wendover: *thousand yard stare* ...storage units
Wendover: *thousand yard stare* ...storage units
I like Ben Franklin because he didn't do shit and all the other founding fathers were like "you know what you're going on the $100 bill". He just has a bunch of random quotes, he was literally just out there saying shit. Also he electrocuted himself with keys on kites and that's also kind of cool
November 2, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I like Ben Franklin because he didn't do shit and all the other founding fathers were like "you know what you're going on the $100 bill". He just has a bunch of random quotes, he was literally just out there saying shit. Also he electrocuted himself with keys on kites and that's also kind of cool
This world series game has been an absolute butt clencher
November 2, 2025 at 3:40 AM
This world series game has been an absolute butt clencher
MLB: How do we increase baseball viewership for younger people?
Me: Maybe remove the paywall for regular season games and put them back on network TV like Sunday football games
MLB: I think we need a 4th base
Me: Maybe remove the paywall for regular season games and put them back on network TV like Sunday football games
MLB: I think we need a 4th base
November 2, 2025 at 12:57 AM
MLB: How do we increase baseball viewership for younger people?
Me: Maybe remove the paywall for regular season games and put them back on network TV like Sunday football games
MLB: I think we need a 4th base
Me: Maybe remove the paywall for regular season games and put them back on network TV like Sunday football games
MLB: I think we need a 4th base
Me, after moving out of the house: Thank god, now I won't see any more house centipedes!
The devious puppy girl kennel centipede:
The devious puppy girl kennel centipede:
November 1, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Me, after moving out of the house: Thank god, now I won't see any more house centipedes!
The devious puppy girl kennel centipede:
The devious puppy girl kennel centipede:
I got a marketing email that referenced the 67 meme, so it's officially dead now
October 31, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I got a marketing email that referenced the 67 meme, so it's officially dead now
Rocky Tip: Include an occasional and random "yes siree bob" in conversations. This engages the listener with an unexpected confirmation of agreement while also providing an informal albeit comforting vocabulary which establishes warmth and trust.
October 29, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Rocky Tip: Include an occasional and random "yes siree bob" in conversations. This engages the listener with an unexpected confirmation of agreement while also providing an informal albeit comforting vocabulary which establishes warmth and trust.
We've entered baseball hell
October 28, 2025 at 6:29 AM
We've entered baseball hell
I can't wait until the day I get into a car accident and the lawyers present my dashcam footage to the jury with the soundtrack of me singing along to Detachable Penis
October 27, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I can't wait until the day I get into a car accident and the lawyers present my dashcam footage to the jury with the soundtrack of me singing along to Detachable Penis
Maximilian feels like a fake full name, like the first guy with the name Max was a cool guy and was asked, "that's a cool name, what's that short for?" and on the spot he was like "uhh, well max is cool, and a million is a cool number, it's uhh max-a-million?"
October 24, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Maximilian feels like a fake full name, like the first guy with the name Max was a cool guy and was asked, "that's a cool name, what's that short for?" and on the spot he was like "uhh, well max is cool, and a million is a cool number, it's uhh max-a-million?"
Begone AI furry bot Telegram ads!
October 17, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Begone AI furry bot Telegram ads!
Hot take: that burning dust smell that you smell when you turn on the gas-powered central heating is good actually
October 16, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Hot take: that burning dust smell that you smell when you turn on the gas-powered central heating is good actually
Today's my birthday! 🎉 You're all required to take today off of work to celebrate
October 13, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Today's my birthday! 🎉 You're all required to take today off of work to celebrate