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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 9h

Big ol cutie ♡

IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 9h

Much appreciated friend 💝

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

-- and im not ever looking or asking to be the kind of friend to wanna hang out all the time, just simply mutually enjoy eachothers work because I know we're literally into the same fucking shit

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

Sometimes I feel people will just put up endless goalposts to further justify their reason to not be nice to me, despite literally trying to break my back backwards for them to make things work.

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

& im like 🫥 am I not allowed to like u cuz of ur work alone?? Cuz spolier, I agree with very little of ur opinions, but your work makes me wanna put all those differences aside and make it work regardless because I see your work is truly worthy of respect as a fellow artist. AM I WRONG FOR THAT?? 😭

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

Do you guys know what im trying to say?? 😅😭

____
Sorry ive just been told stuff like "I dont wanna be your friend cuz im not some 🏆 to collect, im a person"

a cartoon of stitch crying with his mouth wide open

ALT: a cartoon of stitch crying with his mouth wide open

media.tenor.com

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

You may have a fantastic personality, but what the heck is gonna lead someone to discover that without the work you put out in public.

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

Like ive been in that mental loop before, and ive seen it from multiple entertainers- but like at some point you gotta realize what you do is done well, and that is WHY you get noticed.

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

Obviously once you know the person on a more personal level, you begin to separate the craft from the person. But what the fuck is wrong with being attracted to them (in the beginning) by what they produce? That is literally what makes them stand out, and often times what pays their bills.

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 10h

Another major peeve is being guilt tripped into thinking liking someone "only cuz of their art" is a bad thing.

Im sorry but lets be fukin real for 2 seconds. So many of you, myself included- wouldn't be all that special in this space without our talent. We are ARTISTS. Thats what we are known for

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 12h

I dont want to cement these feelings tho as much as I probably should.. I WANT to go back to just supporting eachothers work.. 😭

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 12h

Its hard to ignore folks and pretend they dont have a ripple effect when I get booted from so many groups and friend circles off a raise of their finger alone. And then when you exist in spaces that share their works around all the time its just a constant firing of bad memories.. cant escape

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 12h

I think 80% of these feelings wpuld go away if I could reconnect with many who shut me off- you were definitely a positive boost in my feeling~

Otherwise I have such a hard time moving forward if OTHERS wont. Ive been ready to move forward for 5 years.

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 12h

You know it~

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 12h

Yesyesyesyesyeysydysys

IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 12h

Thank you all for the comments.. ♡♡ i appreciate all of them, and you so much. I realize I have solid support despite these feelings.. but the demons are heavy at times, and I feel its worse to bottle up all these feelings..

I hate how much I care about people who dont care about me 😮‍💨

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 20h

Its maddening that the place i fit in the most, also feels like it rejects me the most.. All I wanna do is fit in and create with fellow artists, but constantly feel like im left on an island of isolation.. im sorry..

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IldaDragonMom @ildadragonmom.bsky.social · 20h

Ngl yall im struggling really bad again.. I feel so unwanted in this community at large and I cant tell if its all in my head from inactivity, or people just genuinely dont care about my work anymore.. feels like nothing ever does well no matter what I try..