If presented with a time machine, the biggest dilemma I would have is whether I want to steal credit for the Akira slide or the Oldboy hallway fight.
December 8, 2025 at 12:31 AM
If presented with a time machine, the biggest dilemma I would have is whether I want to steal credit for the Akira slide or the Oldboy hallway fight.
I think every cop show should have Mulder and Scully show up for an episode and fuck around like it’s the 1990s. Like 911 or Chicago PD or whatever’s out there should have a case that’s a little weird, and then BAM, it’s the x-files now. Someone gets disappeared, nothing is resolved on screen.
December 8, 2025 at 12:15 AM
I think every cop show should have Mulder and Scully show up for an episode and fuck around like it’s the 1990s. Like 911 or Chicago PD or whatever’s out there should have a case that’s a little weird, and then BAM, it’s the x-files now. Someone gets disappeared, nothing is resolved on screen.
Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.
“We are still friends, right?”
[10 seconds of silent rage]
“… ha, yeah.”
“We are still friends, right?”
[10 seconds of silent rage]
“… ha, yeah.”
December 7, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.
“We are still friends, right?”
[10 seconds of silent rage]
“… ha, yeah.”
“We are still friends, right?”
[10 seconds of silent rage]
“… ha, yeah.”
It’s incredible how much better Wizard People: Dear Reader is than anything Rowling ever wrote. That hack could never come up with something as sublime as “Ed Vanders, like a scarecrow’s corpse, rushes in.”
December 7, 2025 at 6:18 AM
It’s incredible how much better Wizard People: Dear Reader is than anything Rowling ever wrote. That hack could never come up with something as sublime as “Ed Vanders, like a scarecrow’s corpse, rushes in.”
I’ve been rereading The Haunting of Hill House before bed lately, and I’m really enjoying telling my wife about the scary parts after we turn out the lights.
December 5, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I’ve been rereading The Haunting of Hill House before bed lately, and I’m really enjoying telling my wife about the scary parts after we turn out the lights.
When dealing with transphobes, remember:
❌ Make your haters your waiters at the table of success
✅ Make them trans! 💖
❌ Make your haters your waiters at the table of success
✅ Make them trans! 💖
December 5, 2025 at 6:08 PM
When dealing with transphobes, remember:
❌ Make your haters your waiters at the table of success
✅ Make them trans! 💖
❌ Make your haters your waiters at the table of success
✅ Make them trans! 💖
I got a new haircut today and I really like the side bits!
December 4, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I got a new haircut today and I really like the side bits!
Did you know there is nothing stopping you from changing your full name to the recipe and wiring instructions for a car bomb? It’s true and legal!
December 3, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Did you know there is nothing stopping you from changing your full name to the recipe and wiring instructions for a car bomb? It’s true and legal!
My New Year’s resolution for 2026 will be to be meaner to cis people.
December 3, 2025 at 6:27 PM
My New Year’s resolution for 2026 will be to be meaner to cis people.
I haven’t watched any Pluribus yet, but I’m really enjoying the reactions I’m getting to calling it “Plurb.”
December 3, 2025 at 6:22 AM
I haven’t watched any Pluribus yet, but I’m really enjoying the reactions I’m getting to calling it “Plurb.”
Me whenever a British person says across the pond: heh, that’s not a pond. Ponds are little and the pacific is big 😏
December 1, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Me whenever a British person says across the pond: heh, that’s not a pond. Ponds are little and the pacific is big 😏
I hate how my stupid body works sometimes. Oh, you got food poisoning and slept like 3 hours as a result? Well that combo of bad sleep and dehydration are exactly what we need to make a migraine! Happy Sunday!
December 1, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I hate how my stupid body works sometimes. Oh, you got food poisoning and slept like 3 hours as a result? Well that combo of bad sleep and dehydration are exactly what we need to make a migraine! Happy Sunday!
I’m not complaining, but I think it’s funny that the aliens from X-Files have green blood that is highly corrosive, just like the alien from Alien, but this alien’s blood is also VX gas I guess. It’s the exact “infinity plus one” kind of writing I can’t help but respect.
December 1, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I’m not complaining, but I think it’s funny that the aliens from X-Files have green blood that is highly corrosive, just like the alien from Alien, but this alien’s blood is also VX gas I guess. It’s the exact “infinity plus one” kind of writing I can’t help but respect.
Guess who got 🎶foood poisoniiiing!🎶
November 30, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Guess who got 🎶foood poisoniiiing!🎶
As a once Californian, I can’t believe that a burrito stuffed with fries is known as a California Burrito. California’s, nay, the world’s best burrito, is Mission Style. Seeing that potato abomination wear my home state’s name is an insult. This is my NYC vs CHI pizza debate. I will kill over this.
November 28, 2025 at 11:15 PM
As a once Californian, I can’t believe that a burrito stuffed with fries is known as a California Burrito. California’s, nay, the world’s best burrito, is Mission Style. Seeing that potato abomination wear my home state’s name is an insult. This is my NYC vs CHI pizza debate. I will kill over this.
I made pears poached in Zinfandel, and they were a huge hit! I served them with some vanilla whipped cream and a couple spoons of the cooking liquid, which was beautifully flavored by the pear juice. So simple, but so good!
November 28, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I made pears poached in Zinfandel, and they were a huge hit! I served them with some vanilla whipped cream and a couple spoons of the cooking liquid, which was beautifully flavored by the pear juice. So simple, but so good!
I feel like SOAD should come together every 5 years and update Prison Song with current statistics. It’s hard to jam out when you know the stuff they’re citing is way worse now.
November 25, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I feel like SOAD should come together every 5 years and update Prison Song with current statistics. It’s hard to jam out when you know the stuff they’re citing is way worse now.
Ma’am please, I’m trying to pee.
November 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Ma’am please, I’m trying to pee.
It’s crazy that the baby from Terminator 2 (the one Arnold picks up by the overalls) and I are the same age.
November 24, 2025 at 2:29 AM
It’s crazy that the baby from Terminator 2 (the one Arnold picks up by the overalls) and I are the same age.
My wife heading to the Lost Lace boss fight for the 300th time: “siiiiiigh time to put my balls back in the ball crushing machine. I NEED MY FUCKING LIFE BACK!!!”
November 24, 2025 at 1:24 AM
My wife heading to the Lost Lace boss fight for the 300th time: “siiiiiigh time to put my balls back in the ball crushing machine. I NEED MY FUCKING LIFE BACK!!!”
Sometimes I randomly remember that I know how to make eclairs and then I make eclairs.
November 24, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Sometimes I randomly remember that I know how to make eclairs and then I make eclairs.
A movie that takes place where you’re from
November 23, 2025 at 7:37 PM
A movie that takes place where you’re from
Whenever I read the door knocking scene from The Haunting of Hill House, I get good and spooked, I must admit. This Shirley Jackson is going places, mark my words!
November 23, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Whenever I read the door knocking scene from The Haunting of Hill House, I get good and spooked, I must admit. This Shirley Jackson is going places, mark my words!
Look at this critter! She likes holding my hand while she’s napping, and sleeping on my lap (as long as there’s a blanket) while I watch my stories. 🥰
November 22, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Look at this critter! She likes holding my hand while she’s napping, and sleeping on my lap (as long as there’s a blanket) while I watch my stories. 🥰
Think I’ll skip the X-Files episode titled Gender Bender…
November 22, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Think I’ll skip the X-Files episode titled Gender Bender…