Jeffrey Hecker
@heckheck03.bsky.social
Poet, Teen Writers Fellowship Poetry Teacher (The Muse Writers Center), Poetry Staff Reader for Quarterly West
People posting Katy Perry stories on Thanksgiving is actually a Wampanoag crime and the penalty is a surprise. Good luck.
November 27, 2025 at 1:55 PM
People posting Katy Perry stories on Thanksgiving is actually a Wampanoag crime and the penalty is a surprise. Good luck.
Blue Moose fudge rep on QVC saying milk maidens make their fudge by hand using wooden paddles and they also sing. It is $21.98.
November 27, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Blue Moose fudge rep on QVC saying milk maidens make their fudge by hand using wooden paddles and they also sing. It is $21.98.
I have pulled out tarot cards this holiday to channel Zora Neale Hurston in preparation for reading aloud sections of Their Eyes Were Watching God in class. I will need four decks of cards.
November 27, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I have pulled out tarot cards this holiday to channel Zora Neale Hurston in preparation for reading aloud sections of Their Eyes Were Watching God in class. I will need four decks of cards.
Whenever there is an act of terror that does not benefit the Republican party directly, their media dismisses it as a lone wolf with a mental health problem. Every other act of terror they blame on Democrats.
November 27, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Whenever there is an act of terror that does not benefit the Republican party directly, their media dismisses it as a lone wolf with a mental health problem. Every other act of terror they blame on Democrats.
I also have several students who call me king, like they say yes king and no king. At first I thought they were insulting me but apparently it is a nice thing to say to somebody now. I want to laugh each time but I remain regal and just tell them to sit down.
November 27, 2025 at 12:53 PM
I also have several students who call me king, like they say yes king and no king. At first I thought they were insulting me but apparently it is a nice thing to say to somebody now. I want to laugh each time but I remain regal and just tell them to sit down.
If you do not think kids these days think in four dimensions try catching one listening to Limo Wreck by Soundgarden in ear buds while completing an AP diagnostic practice exam.
November 27, 2025 at 12:43 PM
If you do not think kids these days think in four dimensions try catching one listening to Limo Wreck by Soundgarden in ear buds while completing an AP diagnostic practice exam.
Campbell's Soup is nearly as old as the Civil War and it is not even that good. That entire company could go away and nobody would even remember it in two years.
November 27, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Campbell's Soup is nearly as old as the Civil War and it is not even that good. That entire company could go away and nobody would even remember it in two years.
Not going to lie these Cheryl's 24-piece cookies on QVC look pretty good. They have them lined out on a butcher's block and I am salivating like some kind of cheetah.
November 27, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Not going to lie these Cheryl's 24-piece cookies on QVC look pretty good. They have them lined out on a butcher's block and I am salivating like some kind of cheetah.
I am thankful for my friends tirelessly working in the poetic spaces despite the despite. Keep shining the flashlight of love into the darkness all. My flashlight is out of batteries, but I know where there is a SALE. Unfortunately the sale is everywhere.
November 27, 2025 at 12:17 PM
I am thankful for my friends tirelessly working in the poetic spaces despite the despite. Keep shining the flashlight of love into the darkness all. My flashlight is out of batteries, but I know where there is a SALE. Unfortunately the sale is everywhere.
This whole country is rigged. Now seriously going to bed.
November 27, 2025 at 1:34 AM
This whole country is rigged. Now seriously going to bed.
Rahmanullah Lakanwal? Yeah whatever. I am going to bed.
November 27, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Rahmanullah Lakanwal? Yeah whatever. I am going to bed.
So here's what I need: a publisher that publishes my next book before I die.
November 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
So here's what I need: a publisher that publishes my next book before I die.
I wish we looked for motives as eagerly for actions that were not murders.
November 26, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I wish we looked for motives as eagerly for actions that were not murders.
The fact New Jersey remains the only state you cannot pump your own gasoline remains hilarious to everybody. I think about it all of the time.
November 26, 2025 at 11:39 PM
The fact New Jersey remains the only state you cannot pump your own gasoline remains hilarious to everybody. I think about it all of the time.
Are reporters not allowed in hospitals?
November 26, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Are reporters not allowed in hospitals?
Each time ESPN commentator Mark Jones says "butter" the Jerry West outline on the NBA logo shakes its head because saying "butter" when a shot is made is so stupid it is hard to explain why.
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Each time ESPN commentator Mark Jones says "butter" the Jerry West outline on the NBA logo shakes its head because saying "butter" when a shot is made is so stupid it is hard to explain why.
No surprise the Governor of West Virginia cannot distinguish the living from the dead, I cannot tell the difference either anymore. What if they were the same? That would be wild, wouldn't it?
November 26, 2025 at 10:32 PM
No surprise the Governor of West Virginia cannot distinguish the living from the dead, I cannot tell the difference either anymore. What if they were the same? That would be wild, wouldn't it?
Turns out I was the only person in our household watching ABC's TGIF line up and my parents thought it was stupid for years and years but did not turn the channel.
November 26, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Turns out I was the only person in our household watching ABC's TGIF line up and my parents thought it was stupid for years and years but did not turn the channel.
I would trade a lot for the ability to read Mayor Muriel Bowser's mind right now. I have only seen one other person look like she did during that press conference and that person lived in a haunted house.
November 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I would trade a lot for the ability to read Mayor Muriel Bowser's mind right now. I have only seen one other person look like she did during that press conference and that person lived in a haunted house.
Fox just blamed the Black Lives Matter movement for this shooting.
November 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Fox just blamed the Black Lives Matter movement for this shooting.
Everything about this breaking news story stinks like a hair salon.
November 26, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Everything about this breaking news story stinks like a hair salon.
Can the National Guard please see the Epstein List?
November 26, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Can the National Guard please see the Epstein List?
I was planning on doing something constructive tonight but now I just want to eat nachos and wish I lived on the moon.
November 26, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I was planning on doing something constructive tonight but now I just want to eat nachos and wish I lived on the moon.
There used to be a time people could focus on Oksana Baiul for like a month and everyone was pretty happy for Oksana Baiul. Feels like that was on another planet.
November 26, 2025 at 8:58 PM
There used to be a time people could focus on Oksana Baiul for like a month and everyone was pretty happy for Oksana Baiul. Feels like that was on another planet.
Do other nations have conveniently crazy breaking news like us? I cannot imagine they do. We specialize in it here.
November 26, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Do other nations have conveniently crazy breaking news like us? I cannot imagine they do. We specialize in it here.