Author | Lightnews

Gretchen Woods

Gretchen Woods

@gwoods.bsky.social

320 followers 380 following 710 posts

I hate talking about myself, but I’m not a bot, so I guess I should write something here? LSG 4 ever!

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Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 2h

#Uganda
#GretchenGoesGorillas
#Shoebill

Bucket list sighting!

Photo of a shoebill stork in Mabamba swamp near Entebbe, Uganda.

It’s a prehistoric-looking bird, grey with a huge hooked bill and eyes that look almost human. Reeds and swamp grass in the background.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 23h

First bird ID of the trip:
Common Bulbul at the hotel in Entebbe
#GretchenGoesGorillas
#Merlin
#Uganda

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 1d

Breakfast on the patio in Entebbe, trying to ID which noises are birds and which might be monkeys. Merlin only has sound IDs for 15% of the birds in Uganda, so I think I’m going to be screwed on IDs for this trip.
#GretchenGoesGorillas
#Uganda
#NatHab

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 2d

I like getting the culture shock out of the way early in the trip :)
#gretchengoesgorillas

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 2d

Waiting at the gate for my connection to Doha, and at first glance at my fellow travelers, my pasty, unseasoned ass is going to be a distinct minority on the flight. Excellent!

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 3d

I’m headed for Uganda tomorrow and will end up taking a bunch of bird photos. Wanna help me ID the birds when I get back? Because I can Merlin things, but I’m not good at spotting the subtle differences between similar species.

I can ID a shoebill stork; everything else is just birbs.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 4d

Cursed, because usually it happens the other way around.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 5d

“I registered because fuck you is why, fuck your opsec, everyone already knows I’m that bitch”

Well, now I want to have your babies.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 5d

Madame Defarge had the right idea

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 6d

Making it as a hat should be fairly easy if you have any amigurumi experience.

Dammit, now I have to go make one quick tomorrow…

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 6d

I guess years of passing colds back and forth between me and the kid because the kid’s classmates came into school sick with “just a cold” never impacted him, since he never got it.

But no. Absolutely not. We keep our germs to ourselves because THAT’S WHAT CIVILIZED PEOPLE DO.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 6d

Like, in no world will I subject random strangers to potentially experiencing a week of discomfort and illness THAT WOULD BE MY FAULT, just so we can play trivia at a bar.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 6d

It annoys me more when I tell my husband I cannot go to trivia night, and he balks because “it’s just a cold, it’s not like you’re going to kill anyone.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Going out in crowded public spaces while shedding virus like a faucet is fucking rude, regardless of which virus it is.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 6d

It annoys me when I make plans while significantly recovered from a cold, assuming that the symptoms will continue to improve, and the day of the plans arrives and I have a copiously runny nose and cough. No trivia night at a crowded bar for me, regardless of masking by me or anyone else.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 7d

Also, who’s a widdle cutie? The jumping spider is! Yes it is!

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 7d

Giving the squeamish newcomers some motivation to learn how to mute key words … such philanthropy!

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 7d

Me, scrolling through endless doom on my feed:
“Come on, come on, where’s a Truckstop Vigilante repost when I need one???”

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 7d

I think #2 should include the Amelia Bedelia exemption, wherein Muppets may only obey human orders if they do so literally, in such a way that it is 90 degrees away from whatever result the human intended. “Drawing the drapes” requires charcoal and a sketch pad, for example.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 8d

Pics or it didn’t happen

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 8d

Agent: “It’s not for us.”

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 10d

Lost needle in recliner.

🏰meg⚔️ @Birthright Audiobook! @impavid.us · 13d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 13d

Kinda want to go as her for Halloween

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 14d

Last year on my birthday I got to see polar bears in Churchill, Manitoba. One sniffed my feet through the floor grating, then popped up to say hello. It was so close I could have booped its nose (if I wanted to lose an arm).

In focus: metal floor grating
Out of focus: polar bear snout sniffing my snow boot

Up close photo of a polar bear peeking over the back railing of our tundra rover.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 17d

My husband’s response: “That wasn’t a Charlie Kirk reference, was it?”

I howled.

Gretchen Woods @gwoods.bsky.social · 19d

There’s a whole system here that includes people to ferry them to jobs in vans. I think the folks who do the construction work are more loosely interpreting the Amish rules, because there are still plenty of power tools around. Still lots of beards and straw hats, though.