Sanjeev Kohli
@govindajeggy.bsky.social
Navid in Still Game, Synthesiser Patel in Look Around You, Ramesh in @FagsMagsandBags and dynamite in a boob tube. Work enquires: [email protected]
For a shot of self-esteem, try standing in front of the specials board at a restaurant & pretending that everyone is craning their necks to look at YOU
November 28, 2025 at 4:26 PM
For a shot of self-esteem, try standing in front of the specials board at a restaurant & pretending that everyone is craning their necks to look at YOU
Bad news for S Club 7. I went to a Little Mix party & it was ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE an S Club party. Even had the same caterers & bouncy castle
November 28, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Bad news for S Club 7. I went to a Little Mix party & it was ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE an S Club party. Even had the same caterers & bouncy castle
Our incredibly pretentious neighbours told us they were poignant house. I think they meant "moving"
November 27, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Our incredibly pretentious neighbours told us they were poignant house. I think they meant "moving"
Want to lose weight? Change your relationship with food. From platonic to sexual. Sex with a chocolate fudge cake is messy but WAY less fattening than eating it
November 27, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Want to lose weight? Change your relationship with food. From platonic to sexual. Sex with a chocolate fudge cake is messy but WAY less fattening than eating it
Heaven must be missing an angel. Either that or one of them didn’t sign the register. THIS IS WHY HEAVEN HAS FIRE DRILLS
November 27, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Heaven must be missing an angel. Either that or one of them didn’t sign the register. THIS IS WHY HEAVEN HAS FIRE DRILLS
I for one am COMPLETELY dumbfounded as to how Nigel Farage has swivelled from horrific poisonous teenage racist to the open-hearted generous empath that he is today
November 26, 2025 at 10:03 AM
I for one am COMPLETELY dumbfounded as to how Nigel Farage has swivelled from horrific poisonous teenage racist to the open-hearted generous empath that he is today
17th century France was very much divided into the Hugues & the Huguenots
November 24, 2025 at 7:08 PM
17th century France was very much divided into the Hugues & the Huguenots
Hens are raucous & unruly creatures, but will occasionally take time to get together & chill out on what they call a "human weekend"
November 23, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Hens are raucous & unruly creatures, but will occasionally take time to get together & chill out on what they call a "human weekend"
Got burgled last night. They took all my 80s VHS movies & my entire collection of fondant fancies. On the plus side I am now Footloose & fancy free
November 21, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Got burgled last night. They took all my 80s VHS movies & my entire collection of fondant fancies. On the plus side I am now Footloose & fancy free
I specialise in stealing brass instruments. And I'm very good at it. Probably the best. I don't like to blow my own trumpet
November 21, 2025 at 9:02 AM
I specialise in stealing brass instruments. And I'm very good at it. Probably the best. I don't like to blow my own trumpet
I like to eat my luncheon in a dungeon. Or as the Gen Z say, "lunch in a dunge"
November 20, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I like to eat my luncheon in a dungeon. Or as the Gen Z say, "lunch in a dunge"
By the way, the emperor WAS wearing new clothes. It was a Karl Lagerfeld three piece double-breasted clingfilm suit. With gammon shoes.
November 20, 2025 at 1:25 PM
By the way, the emperor WAS wearing new clothes. It was a Karl Lagerfeld three piece double-breasted clingfilm suit. With gammon shoes.
At no point in Star Wars does Darth Vader ever actually say the words “Play it again, Sam”
November 20, 2025 at 10:27 AM
At no point in Star Wars does Darth Vader ever actually say the words “Play it again, Sam”
Remember when McTominay scored that beautiful overhead kick?
November 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Remember when McTominay scored that beautiful overhead kick?
Just made a hybrid of a pilau & a pavlova. What a palaver that turned out to be
November 18, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Just made a hybrid of a pilau & a pavlova. What a palaver that turned out to be
Just back from the optometrist. All of the glasses were half-full & rose-tinted. I think I went to an optimist by mistake
November 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Just back from the optometrist. All of the glasses were half-full & rose-tinted. I think I went to an optimist by mistake
John McEnroe used to be close friends with Gary Oldman, but they fell out very publicly when he objected to his role in Harry Potter. He even yelled right into his face “you CANNOT be Sirius”
November 18, 2025 at 12:11 PM
John McEnroe used to be close friends with Gary Oldman, but they fell out very publicly when he objected to his role in Harry Potter. He even yelled right into his face “you CANNOT be Sirius”
Most people enjoy a swashbuckling film. Except Joe Swash, who generally collapses at the knee
November 17, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Most people enjoy a swashbuckling film. Except Joe Swash, who generally collapses at the knee
Reposted by Sanjeev Kohli
He stees you when you're stleeping.
November 15, 2025 at 2:08 PM
He stees you when you're stleeping.
This isn’t just a pun. It’s the truth. It’s why Liz Fraser doesn’t wear open-toed sandals. She did once & was asked to leave IKEA
The Cocteau Twins weren't real twins. But they DID have cocks for toes
November 15, 2025 at 1:58 PM
This isn’t just a pun. It’s the truth. It’s why Liz Fraser doesn’t wear open-toed sandals. She did once & was asked to leave IKEA
Reposted by Sanjeev Kohli
This pun is both long, long overdue and astonishing I've never heard it before.
November 15, 2025 at 11:53 AM
This pun is both long, long overdue and astonishing I've never heard it before.
I do honestly try to get more excited about the right hand side of my thorax, but my heart's not in it
November 15, 2025 at 11:36 AM
I do honestly try to get more excited about the right hand side of my thorax, but my heart's not in it
This is exactly the response I crave. Wordplay so brutal that it provokes this level of disgust
Oh for fucks sake….
November 14, 2025 at 5:18 PM
This is exactly the response I crave. Wordplay so brutal that it provokes this level of disgust
The first thing a Spoonerist monk does is bury a pig armed with a flick-knife. You have to undertake a sow of violence
November 14, 2025 at 4:14 PM
The first thing a Spoonerist monk does is bury a pig armed with a flick-knife. You have to undertake a sow of violence
The Cocteau Twins weren't real twins. But they DID have cocks for toes
November 14, 2025 at 11:10 AM
The Cocteau Twins weren't real twins. But they DID have cocks for toes