Author | Lightnews

Turd Ferguson

@gonnacheerup.bsky.social

16 followers 23 following 100 posts

Father, socialist, hillbilly, Reddit atheist, animal lover, civil engineer, fourth Beatle.

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Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Aug 28

What about us old men? What about old men who happen to love Weezer's (cringey band) cover of Africa (very cringe song)?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Aug 23

What if, bear with me, your assessment is both contradictory and incorrect?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Aug 21

It's weird when liberals don't care at all about actual policy then trash leftists for wanting substance instead of vibes.

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Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Aug 20

So what I'm seeing is that twitter has been overrun by far-right incels, and Bluesky has become home to all the shitlibs willing to excuse genocide and bypass democracy so long as it's a Democrat doing it.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Aug 16

Is this sarcasm? I'm not familiar with the cut of your jib. Because this lineup includes some of the most hated neolibs on the planet. Aside from maybe Waltz this is probably the worst lineup you could have picked.

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Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Aug 5

How do I find this person/post? I keep seeing everyone talk about how much "nicer" it is here, but I miss the shitposting on the character of the day.

Maybe I need to be it? Ok, confession time, I found the bear in the park and I took it home, on the bike, to eat it.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Jul 25

I'm trying hard to give up twitter, but my feed on this site is just terrible. Can someone tell me how to curate this site more to my interests? Like, why the hell do I have so much anime or crappy weird art?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 30

Fuck a cantaloupe

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 30

Timing my farts in the theater with the loud action sequences. Call me John Wilkes Toots.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 11

You cut a hole in your front pocket. I cut a hole in my back pocket. We are not the same.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 11

They should just make dryers look like dressers, because that's where your fucking clothes are.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 11

You ever wonder if you're really two conjoined cyclopses?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 11

Proud to say that at my age I'm still hip, and on top of the latest fashions. Just yesterday a group of teenagers were pointing at me and whispering compliments about me to each other.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 11

Hey buddy, can you spot me on this bench press? It's not heavy, just awkward, ya know?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 6

I suppose if my name was Leonard, and I was a rapper, I would go by Masterbating Leonard

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 1

I have "atheist" in my bio. I lol'ed at this. Out Loud I tell you.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Mar 1

I think I would have voted like this

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 28

Fuck it. Fuck him. I'm callin' these "tweets".

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 25

Yo Gramma had wine in that coke can

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 25

I would kill for this. The only things I have resembling superpowers are shit like always knowing the correct volume for music, or snapping my fingers louder than most.

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Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 22

Why was the first person to spot Superman shouting about a fucking bird?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 22

If owls are so wise why are they always asking the same question?

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 22

I suppose, from my experience, the one redeeming factor about pubes growing so fast is that every time you get bubblegum stuck in there and have to cut it out, it's styleable again in no time.

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 22

Orderin' off the menu at Cracker Barrel

Turd Ferguson @gonnacheerup.bsky.social · Feb 22

Is it just me, or is cannibalism not THAT big of a deal??? Like, calm down