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Gareth Penn

@garethspenn.bsky.social

400 followers 1 following 2.7K posts

"Those who cannot remember George Santayana are condemned to misquote him." I asked a tour guide at San Simeon if the madonna above the main entrance of La Casa Grande was the one Dorothy Parker had written about, and he said, "Who's Dorothy Parker?"

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 3h

Trump can't go to San Francisco because his combover is too thin to support the flowers he needs to have in his hair (see Time cover photo).

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 18h

The three of them are too much for the tractor beam. Trump will have to lose a hundred pounds.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 18h

A 53-year-old woman was arrested in Alabama for lewd conduct because she was wearing a penis suit. I wish I could be in court when she's arraigned.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 18h

"Anything I don't like is inauthentic and wouldn't exist if some evil invisible entity hadn't interfered in my imaginary world to make it happen."

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 20h

It's a good thing everybody didn't buy the inflatable penguin costume.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 21h

Oh, yeah? Then why do they call it ant-ifa?

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 21h

They were so guilty that they deserved to be executed without a trial, but since they survived the execution, they must be innocent. We're making new law every day.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 22h

My SDA grandma was the sickliest person I ever knew. She looked as if the next puff of wind would blow her away, and she had a half dozen conditions that left her nearly disabled. My grandpa thought she would die and leave him all alone, so he put a bullet in his head. She died 12 years later.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Seventh Day Adventist

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Closing I-5 almost anywhere between Seattle and San Diego for three hours will inflict economic damage on a region that votes blue. For some reason, I can't help but think that's why they're doing it.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

I'm in Seattle, where "Heat America" would make a good rally slogan (9° C and threatening rain).

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Now I'm kicking myself for not buying stock in inflatable frog costume manufacturers.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Using government apparatus to shift wealth from one group to another is American when it benefits someone you like — including yourself — and Communist when it benefits anybody else.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

But Santos is a Republican!

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Hitler ordered the use of V-2 rockets to destroy the Remagen bridge to keep the AEF from using it. The army balked, saying the V-2 wasn't safe for use on domestic targets. Hitler had the last word. Of 11 V-2s fired, none hit the bridge but one hit the city of Köln and killed hundreds of civilians.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Paul is the walrus.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Too bad the sarcasm went over your head. But thanks for the venom anyway.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

I don't think I've ever seen a Soros-funded dog before.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Will there be a follow-up event at Buckingham Palace?

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

You're both better looking than the Times.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

The point is valid, but Nixon wasn't impeached.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Is there $50,000 in that bag?

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

There is a conflicting model: the Christopher Moltisanti intervention in The Sopranos. Like the Sopranos' Monopoly game, it degenerates into a slugfest.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

If a short round blows up an SUV with children aboard, Hegseth will claim that it was a drug-smuggling vehicle.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

The Russian flag is white-blue-red, not red-blue-white. You read a horizontal tricolor from the top down and a vertical tricolor from the flagpole out.