Fright Shark
@frightshark.bsky.social
I wrote a book about using the toilet
I'm at my grandparents' house which means Fox News on all day baby. Just saw a commercial asking for donations to Israel like are we not sending them enough already against our will
November 16, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I'm at my grandparents' house which means Fox News on all day baby. Just saw a commercial asking for donations to Israel like are we not sending them enough already against our will
Just saw murder by death live for the 13th or 14th time, and also it's their second to last show ever. I am inconsolable
November 15, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Just saw murder by death live for the 13th or 14th time, and also it's their second to last show ever. I am inconsolable
I miss the days before language filters in video games. If I'm playing a single player game let me name my character Dr. Fuckhole it's not hurting anyone
November 14, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I miss the days before language filters in video games. If I'm playing a single player game let me name my character Dr. Fuckhole it's not hurting anyone
Attaching a fleshlight to a Roomba then sitting naked in a random part of my house with my eyes closed hoping it happens
November 14, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Attaching a fleshlight to a Roomba then sitting naked in a random part of my house with my eyes closed hoping it happens
I have a friend who thinks the economy only affects him because he's the only one in our group who owns a home
November 11, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I have a friend who thinks the economy only affects him because he's the only one in our group who owns a home
I hereby grant you permission to take a three hour nap. I'll see you there
November 11, 2025 at 11:55 AM
I hereby grant you permission to take a three hour nap. I'll see you there
Not enough people use nominative determinism. My first born will not have my last name, instead they will be named Basketball Billionaire
November 11, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Not enough people use nominative determinism. My first born will not have my last name, instead they will be named Basketball Billionaire
I could best be described as "much maligned"
November 11, 2025 at 4:32 AM
I could best be described as "much maligned"
They gave me gauze with kitty cats on it for my blood draw today, thank you
November 10, 2025 at 4:32 PM
They gave me gauze with kitty cats on it for my blood draw today, thank you
Imagine giving your bully all the money in your wallet as long as he promises he'll consider not punching you in the balls anymore, then 30 minutes later he comes back and punches you in the balls. That's what is happening in government right now basically
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Imagine giving your bully all the money in your wallet as long as he promises he'll consider not punching you in the balls anymore, then 30 minutes later he comes back and punches you in the balls. That's what is happening in government right now basically
I don't know why this is in my blood but I get so mad if someone presents a "top (x)" list of anything then has five honorable mentions at the beginning. Either commit to something and rank your 10 favorite things or admit you're actually making a top 15 list
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 AM
I don't know why this is in my blood but I get so mad if someone presents a "top (x)" list of anything then has five honorable mentions at the beginning. Either commit to something and rank your 10 favorite things or admit you're actually making a top 15 list
I would love nothing more than to see whatever the Seahawks are doing to the Cardinals right now but my work has placed me in hell so I'm stuck on a plane
November 9, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I would love nothing more than to see whatever the Seahawks are doing to the Cardinals right now but my work has placed me in hell so I'm stuck on a plane
A front desk person just called me and woke me up at 12:30am to tell me something funny that happened. I need to get the fuck out of here
November 9, 2025 at 6:38 AM
A front desk person just called me and woke me up at 12:30am to tell me something funny that happened. I need to get the fuck out of here
don't clock my tea I'll cum
November 9, 2025 at 2:16 AM
don't clock my tea I'll cum
I'm ordering a big pizza for dinner okay guys. Is that alright with you
November 8, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I'm ordering a big pizza for dinner okay guys. Is that alright with you
Will this KFC cure me? Place bets below
November 8, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Will this KFC cure me? Place bets below
There are still people falling for alt + f4 in 2025 and that brings me so much joy
November 7, 2025 at 4:37 AM
There are still people falling for alt + f4 in 2025 and that brings me so much joy
Have you ever noticed how there's no "goWOMENnasai"? That's because you ladies have nothing to apologize for 😏
November 7, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Have you ever noticed how there's no "goWOMENnasai"? That's because you ladies have nothing to apologize for 😏
Every time my work sends me on a trip it ends up secretly being a trap to put me in hell
November 7, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Every time my work sends me on a trip it ends up secretly being a trap to put me in hell
Crenbo? Greznul? All goblins are welcome here friend. I do not wish to know nor pronounce your names
November 7, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Crenbo? Greznul? All goblins are welcome here friend. I do not wish to know nor pronounce your names
I don't want my food delivery app to show me a picture of my driver. This guy looks like he's gonna lick my food
November 7, 2025 at 3:12 AM
I don't want my food delivery app to show me a picture of my driver. This guy looks like he's gonna lick my food
Everyone got that one homeboy named Dweebus
November 7, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Everyone got that one homeboy named Dweebus
They're calling it the swag capital of Wisconsin
November 6, 2025 at 7:11 PM
They're calling it the swag capital of Wisconsin
Sorry for everything about me
November 6, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Sorry for everything about me
I look like if a guy was born
November 5, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I look like if a guy was born