Author | Lightnews

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 12h

yooooo they have SONGS?? even better!

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 16h

u can solve this by just making apples bigger in general

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 16h

and they have it every year! on the same day, im told

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 17h

COSTUME 2: GUY ON YOUR BLOCK WHO DONT KNOW BOUT NO "HALLOWEEN", HE JUST GOT OFF WORK

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Reposted by DVS

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · Nov 25

yo COME ON

front page of the New York Post. It shows a picture of Eric Adams, a picture of a weed leaf crossed out, and a picture of DVS with a toothpick in his mouth like Razor Ramon. Razor Ramon was siiiick. Anyway the caption says:

"WEED LEGAL IN NYC EXCEPT FOR DVS", SAYS MAYOR.

It goes on:

"I'm sick of his shit" says Mayor Adams. He's too handsome and it makes me mad. I don't want him to have any fun".

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Reposted by DVS

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · Nov 20

picture of a bald man waving from over a fence in a yard. hes saying "hello" with a word balloon. the caption says "WE ALL KNOW SOMEONE LIKE THIS. SHARE IF U KNOW A 'HELLO HARRY'"

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 2d

yooooo it look like it could be the first one again even

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

i saw a movie and learned another guy but i aint write it down

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

its like 60 pages, they just really believe in us

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

u sayin hes mad good at it

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

i just dont see why its any of business insider's busin--ohhh ok, i see it

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Reposted by DVS

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · Nov 20

screenshot of business insider. some old bald guy with a white chinstrap beard and glasses, prolly a government guy. quote says "ABRAHAM LINCOLN: "I'M MAD OLD NOW". guy kinda looks like lincoln, iunno. iunno who he is. see, u dont really want me writing these sometimes. what guys do i know? jimi hendrix, gordon ramsey, thats it. johnny 5. ionno if that counts. hes LIKE a guy. at the end especially, he learned to forgive or whatever.

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Reposted by DVS

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · Nov 20

ITS GOT TO STOP

screenshot of an article from XXL called "Hip-Hop Lyric Cliches That Need to Die". The caption says "Seriously, rappers needed to stop using these lyric cliches yesterday" over a picture of Lil Wayne lookin upset

quoted lyrics from a Jay Z song called "Garden Time": "I Don't Go to Home Depot, I make my shovels myself". There is a
picture of Jay-Z captioned " CLICHE #3.Claiming To Never Go To Home Depot -- Everyone has to go there sometimes. Stop it."

quoted lyrics from an Eminem song titled "Try It": "Just one bite, you'll never need another vitamin"

A picture of Eminem captioned "Cliche #5: Claiming To Have A Recipe For A Three Bean Casserole That Makes You Never Need Medicine Again -- No such recipe exists. More hollywood lies

Lyrics quote: "I'm so tall, Bart Simpson called me on the phone in real life"

-Megan The Stallion "Real Life"

Picture of Megan The Stallion with the caption "CLICHE #8: Saying They Know Bart Simpson In Real Life -- How?? How would that even work?"

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

Piggael is cool, but rude
Fozzieangelo is a party dude

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

"oooh put water in the shampoo, like ancient rome! festive!"

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 3d

iunno but Huffnagle'll sort it out prolly

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 4d

seems like the recipe is in the picture also

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 4d

they can, but they shouldnt. its like jurassic park

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 4d

so THATS who he wants to goooooo aweghhhhh

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 4d

my problems would ruin you. cherish the ones you do have.

DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 4d

for 6 months u get shit in the mail like "MAKE SURE U RE-ELECT BOINGUS HUFFNAGLE AS DISTRICT 8 AREA LEAD COORDINATOR"

and then at voting its like "Choose one (1) of the following candidates for District 8 Coordinator: Boingus Huffnagle or nobody"

iunno if u needed the mailers

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 4d

ballot proposals are sick cuz theyre like "this would allow the city to make it so things are nice instead of bad, and everyone gets a balloon"

but then u see a guy screamin VOTE NO ON THE BALLOONS!! IT MAKES IT LEGAL FOR POLICE TO BITE U!!

not nice how they dont say that part

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 5d

oooo...essay said not to do that

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 5d

ya it could be in the sewer or like a big jar even, whatever's around

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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 5d

[furious with the grocer after he refuses to give me a free "thank you lime" to make sure i have a great day]

...just u wait till Walden is mayor u smug bastard...

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