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@dumb1uck.bsky.social

7 followers 6 following 400 posts

private alt audrey / ronan * 22 * she vent & occasional nsfw, i dont tag anything only mutuals and no reposts pls blocking ppl i dont know sorry! https://rentry.co/dumbluckpriv

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✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 2h

yeah maybe at some point! but i think it’s the smarter choice for now to apply for a masters here, try to go on erasmus and just be sure i’ll have a degree

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 2h

yeah but i definitely couldn’t do it next year for money reasons, and if i wait 2 years before going back to uni itd be a Very Long break and i’m just. not sure if it’s worth it:(

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 3h

no other city listen on this whole cup btw

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 3h

decided yesterday to give up on trying to go to uni in dublin yesterday and wrote a whole journal entry ab it and today i get coffee and this is on my cup……

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✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 8h

absolutely no reason for me to be anxious about today btw my brain is doing this for the love of the game

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 8h

2 panic attacks and 3h of sleep but im going to that 8am

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 14h

trying to sleep but im shaking and struggling to breathe FUUUUKC MY STUPID PUPPY LIFEEEEE im gonna try some meditation and hopefully itll make me fall asleep or at least calm down

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 14h

lowkey having really awful anxiety about uni and idek whyyyy its just so bad

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 1d

my favourite cousin and her bf and my grandma are coming over for dinner today

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✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 1d

i’m so tired of being sick in some way every day the last 2 weeks i had like one day where nothing was wrong aouuugh

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 1d

almost every day in the afternoon this week i get rly nauseous and a bit sick and get a weird tummy ache and i just feel so Blegh and heavy What is thissss

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 1d

honestly it’s like their biggest best skill but we have to stay strong

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 2d

dad is cleaning parents are arguing i got yelled at i will not be ragebaited

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✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 2d

anyway. im fucking exhausted and sore and bloated and i feel a migraine brewing . gootbye

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 4d

changed my mind???? aaagh

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 4d

like sometimes ill just see a picture of someone i used to wish i looked like or ill see an old picture of myself and im like Fuck i wish i still wanted that!!! so bad!!! but i just dont and i dont know why and what happened and its so frustrating bc i fought so hard to look the way i did and i just

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 4d

of Knowing thats just not me anymore but like . really missing that stage of my life maybe out of nostalgia maybe bc i was more comfortable. maybe just because it was such a big part of my identity and life and all idrk how to explain it in any way thatd make sense

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 4d

i miss being a guy. idk if thats ok to say but i really do in a weird way. i miss when getting a stubble brought me joy, i miss wearing a particularly masc outfit and rly liking how it fit me i just miss looking at myself and seeing changes and feeling like Myself. its a weird conflicting feeling+

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 4d

but i am ouuu

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 4d

im CHOPPED and also UNC

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 5d

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✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 5d

“thats crazy” 😭 and then said she couldnt stop herself bc she looooves cakes and cookies and shed be so depressed if she had to stop eating all her favourite food. WELL IM NOT RLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS EITHER WHAT DO U THINK

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 5d

basically said i cant eat any of the pastries there bc i cant eat gluten and one girl said “i cant have lactose but well” and pointed at her coffee with milk and i was like haha well last time i ate gluten i was sick for a few days with a fever etc etc so i dont wanna risk it. and she went+

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 5d

had the most annoying gluten related conversation today i didnt think ppl actually will just say stuff like this to u 😭

✮ @dumb1uck.bsky.social · 5d

ED making me not want to eat and i hate my body and get scared of gaining weight But also i keep getting sick and Losing weight i know i shouldnt be losing bc it’s unhealthy and thats also scary But also im scared to eat bc food keeps making me sick And i have food ocd making me even More anxious