Author | Lightnews

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 8d

It was always my plan because couches aren't people.

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 8d

Veep Vance will announce his candidacy for 2028 while simultaneously announcing his divorce. #dontbylikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 8d

Veep Vance says Usha isn't Christian. That's something he has in common with her. #dontbelikejd

JD Vance repeats comments he wants wife Usha to convert to Christianity

US vice-president announces to 10,000 attenders of Turning Point USA that he prefers wife, who is Hindu, to be Christian

www.theguardian.com

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 11d

I'll bet Usha's parents keep calling him "coach fucker" in Telugu.

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 11d

Veep Vance says it is "totally reasonable and acceptable" for people to not want to live next door to people who speak a different language from him because the reality is that Usha's parents call him an asshole in Telugu. #dontbelikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 16d

Veep Vance upholds "gold standard science" by appointing his friends, skirting search committees, and officiating weddings. #dontbelikejd

Daniel Gorelick @danielgorelick.bsky.social · 17d

Eliminating DEI & hiring your friends www.science.org/content/arti...

JD Vance officiated the wedding of new head of NIH environmental institute

Unusual hiring process raises fears of political favoritism

www.science.org

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 16d

Veep Vance reached a Gaza peace deal by mocking Senator Schumer as the "most famous Palestinian in the world." #dontbelikejd

JD Vance @jd-vance-1.bsky.social · 19d

We have made incredible progress in our efforts toward peace in the Middle East.

With the world’s prayers, God’s providence, and the excellent team President Trump has assembled, we will get the job done.⁩

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 25d

Veep Vance tells people to not lose their shit over the "I Love Hitler" movement because Nazis are just baby boys. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 28d

Veep Vance comes prepared for interviews on major networks, and he's aware who is bribing whom along with the dollar amount promised. He was telling the truth when he admitted, "that $50K bribe never happened," because the bribe was only $49,999.99. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · 28d

Veep Vance doesn’t carry $50K in cash earmarked for bribes when the FBI taps him. He uses Venmo or Mir payment systems instead. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Oct 2

Veep Vance throws tantrums at @pewresearch.org for sampling bias because 8% of the US population has never heard of him while the other 92% know him only as "couch fucker." #dontbelikejd

Pew Research Center @pewresearch.org · Sep 30

🚨NEW: Ahead of a possible shutdown of the federal government, Americans have more negative than positive views of President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance and congressional leaders on both sides of the aisle. 🧵👇

Full analysis here: www.pewresearch.org/...

A diverging bar chart showing that views of Trump, Vance and congressional leaders in both parties are all more negative than positive.

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 26

Veep Vance opposes the 30% tariff on upholstered furniture because they are all damaged goods from dampness. #dontbelikejd

darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · Sep 25

"Additionally, we will be charging a 30% Tariff on Upholstered Furniture"

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 25

Veep Vance gets his nutrition advice from Dr. Pepper. #dontbelikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 25

Veep Vance takes Tylenol when pregnant women's screams give him headaches. #dontbelikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 25

Veep Vance encourages you to find a doctor who respects traditional conservative practices. Be sure to ask about leeches. #dontbelikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 25

Veep Vance encourages pregnant women to listen to their doctors, especially when those doctors are named Nick Riviera, Hannibal Lecter, and Baron Heinrich von Frankenstein. #dontbelikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 23

Veep Vance encourages everyone to contact their mothers to determine whether they took amphetamine while pregnant. If so, you may conclude that you have ASD. This is how to follow the science. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 15

Veep Vance urges Republicans to put on the "full armor of god" because he keeps picturing them as couches and wants the belt of truth to serve as a choke rope. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 15

Veep Vance refuses to fund research on hospital vertical integration and private equity for encouraging wokeness. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 10

Veep Vance doesn't understand that he is part of that encouragement of that small group who commits gross majority of violent crime. #dontbelikejd

JD Vance @jd-vance-1.bsky.social · Sep 9

The reality is that the gross majority of violent crime is committed by a very small group of people and we should be throwing them in prison.

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 10

Veep Vance's intentions for the interview with Matt Gaetz was not really to talk about how he wants to encourage immigrants like Usha. Instead he wanted to learn how to solicit underage girls like Matt Gaetz. #dontbelikejd

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Sep 4

Veep Vance flips out that people think #HHS transparency is the same as forcing trans and nonbinary identity on children who do not consent. #dontbelikejd

JD Vance @jd-vance-1.bsky.social · Sep 4

When I see all these senators trying to lecture and "gotcha" Bobby Kennedy today all I can think is:

You all support off-label, untested, and irreversible hormonal "therapies" for children, mutilating our kids and enriching big pharma. You're full of shit and everyone knows it.

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Aug 30

That is sofa king true.

Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Aug 29

Veep Vance sends his thoughts and prayers to Annunciation because it is not within his capabilities to get his ass of the couch. #dontbelikejd

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Bad JD @dontbelikejd.bsky.social · Aug 28

Veep Vance confirms that ICE has permission to ask WA fire fighters for their papers because he has to know that paper really burns at Fahrenheit 451, else he'll burn all books like the House Un-American Activities Committee did. #dontbelikejd