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@dimlan.bsky.social

30 followers 41 following 380 posts

Exhausted from living in the 21st Century. Brain fried from all the TV watching. Have hot hot hot sport and political takes. Please don't implode this place and make me have to understand Mastodon

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dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 1h

Did they all come back to work just to make quips about protesters for an hour?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 1h

Will be on my deathbed on Mars mumbling "why did they never talk about impeachment?"

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 1h

Getting heart palpitations just reading about Joe Friday going after a mail thief and a hoodlum who splashed green paint. I'll put on a nice variety show until my nerves calm down

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 1h

(Guy that came up with "fun-size" candy) Eureka!

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 2h

They also have to say that Hegseth did a hundred pull-ups. He had perfect form. They saw him do it.

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 3h

When is People's sexiest man announced?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 13h

Why are you targeting yourself? Why are you targeting yourself?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 13h

At least two dozen Senators have been replaced by mutant shapeshifters so nothing's getting passed aside from naming army bases after Magneto

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 13h

How often do players reflexively shove him into a locker?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 14h

Chronological time no longer exists. We are all Dr. Manhattan.

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dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 14h

Panera must never hear of this

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 15h

Scared to ask what Microsoft bought the rights to and how the Bing browser is involved

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 15h

Aren't they trained to ask if you want every type of coffee drink as you keep answering "just regular coffee," and then ask if you want every type of milk until you blow up and scream "milk from a cow?" Or did movies lie to me?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 17h

What. "Dragnet" did an MLK assassination episode?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 19h

Frank Miller's Old Batman vs Old Man Wolverine comic cut up and stapled together into a flipbook

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 19h

Realizing after six months why China isn't buying soybeans

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 19h

They remember my order but I have to always wear the same outfit ☹️

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 20h

Isn't this the Ghostbusters library ghost?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 20h

It's more concerning that this realization doesn't seem to be changing his behavior? Is it bad that the extremely powerful person who can destroy us all has come to terms with being damned?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 20h

They look like they all have the same dad

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dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 20h

You can't be mad that his ulterior motive is to gift $20 billion to another country's political party when he outright says that's his one and only motive

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 22h

Who radicalized them?

Oh wait, no, I know

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dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

Rodgers #5, Patriots #10

Maggie Simpson quote "This is indeed a disturbing universe"

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

We just have to wait them out another 15 months

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

He's the next Chris Pratt in that even people that aren't super into celebrity news will soon develop a vague feeling that they're meant to dislike him